... If you found out that she wasn't having what you had hoped that she would have?
My mother found out that I was having a girl (which I am THRILLED about, by the way), but she wanted me to have a boy. Ever since then, she doesn't care at all about my pregnancy, and makes it obvious that she wants nothing to do with it. She didn't want my sister and I to go through baby clothes at her house (my sister lives out of town, and she and I were looking forward to this for weeks) at her house. She has made it sound like I'm such a horrid human being because I wanted a baby shower (it's been almost ten years since I was last pregnant, and it was with a BOY. SHE gave away all of the stuff that I had used with him).
Am I over reacting? Is this normal behavior for a mother who's about to have her second grandchild?
2007-01-22 05:04:45 · 15 answers · asked by <3 The Pest <3 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Congratulations! My daughter just found out she is pregnant, too. She, too, has a son (9 y/o) who will be turning 10 when the new baby arrives, and we are hoping for a girl. BUT, we don't care what it is as long as it is healthy. Of course you need a baby shower. My daughter also said it wasn't right because she had a big shower with son. No, no, no. It is tough living in our world today, very expensive. After 10 years, no one still has baby cloths from the first (oh, wait. My girlfriend does, I'm sure and her children are 18 & 16 LOL). Seriously, your mother sounds like the type of grandmother I always prayed I would not be like. Pretty selfish, I think. Enjoy your pregnancy without your mother, if necessary. This is supposed to be a joyous time...not one for your mother to be having tantrams if it is not what SHE wants. Maybe she is delutional and doesn't realize this is not HER baby...or her decision.
You are not a horrid human being for wanting shower. No, you are NOT over-reacting and NO, it is NOT normal behavior for a woman about to have her 2nd Grandchild. She needs a therapist and needs to realize the sex of your child was not something you did just to spite her...it's all a part of God's plan.
2007-01-22 05:21:22 · answer #1 · answered by Suzan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't over reacting. I am currently pregnant with my third baby which is a boy...I already have two little boys. I couldn't be happier-I've always seen myself as a mom to boys as I've always had such bad relationships with girls. When we found out what we were having this time-my mom and my husbands mom both voiced their disappointment. My mom thought I was lying and then has finally came to terms. My husbands mother still has her negative comments about it but whatever.
I've also had thoughts about having another baby shower due to the fact that all my children will be under the age of three. I understand that it's not PC to have a baby shower if your having a baby of the same gender but I'm running in to the issue that all my clothes are really worn hand me downs. Plus this child is being born going in to a completely different season as my other two. So even if I didn't need clothes because the old are all worn out, I need a whole new set of clothes because everything I own is winter based. Ah, the drama of being a momma
2007-01-22 05:30:51 · answer #2 · answered by bctvmanz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I think she is being selfish and you should let her know that you don;t appreciate the way she feels.
When I got pregnant my mother in law tried to act like its a bad thing like we don't know what we are doing, we arn't ready and now we have a baby and what are we going to do.
I told her that we have been married for 4 years trying for a baby for two, we love each other completely and are as ready as we ever will be. By the way I'm 26 and my husband 28. She went on to say we just think we love each other and that this is a horrible thing. This lady has been against our marriage or even us being together from the start. This is a mother who didn't want to lose her baby. Enough about me just be honest with her. Tell her your going to be happy and that you are delighted that its a girl and she should be also.
2007-01-22 05:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by neicee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This def. is not normal. I am not sure why should would care whether it was a boy or girl!!! I know my family wanted a boy but would have been happy no matter what we had!!!
I would sit down and chat with her and ask her what is going on. This could be a serious problem way down the road, as she could end up being mean to your new daughter, and playing favorites with your son. This will become obvious to your little girls and could cause some major problems.
Not sure what her deal is...but if she was my mom and she was being this way I would tell her she gets no priveleges with either child if she does not step up and stop being mean and stupid. If she is not willing to have a relationship with both children...then she really does not care anways, and this relationship is not worth it to you or your children!!!
I know this is hard...we went through this when we got pregnant and my husbands mom was not happy!!! She is still pouting!!!
2007-01-22 05:46:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd have to have a daughter first and it doesn't look promising. lol I think SHE'S the horrid person not to be happy about it and to make you feel badly. My mom died five years before I met my husband and six years before my son was born. I was 40 when I got married and 41 when I had my son, so I think my mom thought it would ever happen. We had our issues like every other mother and daughter and she was ill, but she would have been thrilled to meet her grandchild. In fact, she never met any of them as my oldest niece was born just six months after my mother died.
As I write this, I am becoming increasingly aware of just how selfish your mother is being and it's really making me angry. Both my mother and I wish we could have shared those wonderful moments of the births of her grandchildren, especially mine.
2007-01-22 05:17:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sound like she has some issues but I wouldn't know what they are. Maybe jealousy ? I can't wait to have grandkids. My son is 23 and he and I have been racing to have another kid. I just had a baby girl last month so I won. When he does have a child I certainly won't care if it's a boy or a girl.
Have a shower and have a great baby and don't stress about your Mom. She will come around.
2007-01-22 05:10:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
a touch one is a blessing even if if it comes unpredicted. i'm 2 a lengthy time period previous and my son is two my husband isn't his bio-dad. My husband on the prompt's operating as a manager at a reasturant he purely worked there for 4 months and he become promoted. yet he's about to bypass artwork structure for his father. So could have more suitable hours and also advantages. on the prompt i'm a stay at homestead mom yet this summer season i receives education to change right into a pharmacy tech. We wont have alot of money and we've executed each little thing completly backward. Our wedding ceremony become after our son become born. yet we are chuffed and we've a superb toddler a captivating little boy. or maybe although he become badly timed and that i havent even began the learning i want to be in we are chuffed. And rather fortunate. I nonetheless have something else of my existence to ascertain each little thing else out. Your daughter will be positive yet no longer in case you disown her for keeping and needing and loving her toddler. WHat in the experience that your father and mom hadnt needed you to have your first toddler as a results of even if causes imagine the way you would experience. you're a mom and also you should understand what your daughter is going by ability of. She didnt ask for any of this to take position yet she is taking it head on and also you should be proud. And instead you're purely being weak and letting your husband do each and each of the wondering. check out your toddler What did you promise her at the same time as she become born...,that you would love her for ever no count number what. Thats what a mom feels for her toddler. you're saying you dont want to set a foul celebration for the more youthful youthful ones yet what are you training them about family members in case you turn your lower back on your oldest daughter.
2016-10-15 22:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will actually be happy when my child gets pregnant whether she is married or not. A nice piece of paper does not automatically guarantee a happy life together.
Your mom is just dealing with disappointment in a horrid and inappropriate way. I would tell her so, then quit trying to involve her, maybe that will help make her realize what she is missing out on.
2007-01-22 05:11:35 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you already know it isn't normal behavior for an expecting grandmother. It's a horrible way to treat her daughter period. And I know you wont treat your daughter that way. We cant control how our mothers treat us (trust me i wish i could LOL) but you can control how you react to it. You ARE the bigger woman in this (no pun intended regarding the little baby belly hehe) Best of luck to you. Don't let your mother get you down :)
2007-01-22 05:18:03 · answer #9 · answered by Gig 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes I would be happy when/if my daughter got pregnant, no matter the sex of the child. Children are always precious gifts.
There are alot of people tho, that prefer one sex to another. My mother didn't like girls, and her mother didn't like girls either. My sister in law prefers boys as well. Me? I'm happy so long as they are healthy.
I wouldn't worry about. It's your child, male or female, and your mother will either deal with it or she won't.
Good luck!
2007-01-22 05:20:22 · answer #10 · answered by Ariamay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋