because of what military personnel have to do and see...
My brother is 32 and has been married 3 times (currently on wife 3 - and it isn't going well)... And I wonder if military life changes people...
2007-01-22 04:56:48 · 15 answers · asked by Forlorn Hope 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
War changes people, that's a given.
My husband came home angry, insensitive, and unappreciative. He's nothing like the man I fell in love with and married.
Hopefully time will help...
2007-01-22 05:09:05 · answer #1 · answered by Nina Lee 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Too many women get married to soldiers because of the uniform and that's a fact...once the uniform comes off they are just regular guys getting mediocre pay for an extroidinary job. One thing I hate is when women say, "Oh i love a man in uniform" or "I love military men"....it's not the uniform that makes the man.
Your brother needs to find a woman who is in it for the long haul..not just momentarily fascinated with a soldier.
In the ONE year that I've been married to a army soldier I've seen at least three divorces occur among married soldiers in his unit and many other couples are having problems because of cheating...both the husbands and the wives cheating. But honestly...mostly the army guys are cheating on their spouses. I think these men in uniform get hit on so much by women who are "uniform chasers" that they get a big ego and forget that they are married. Also, female soldiers who don't care if a man is married or not don't help the situations any at all. I think the deployments and time out in the field are also a factor in the divorce rate. But the way I figure is...if you married a man or woman while they are a soldier then you knew what you were marrying into...so don't act all surprised when they are gone all the time...that's the life of a soldier. Now your brother needs to pinpoint whether he is picking the wrong women or if his actions are to blame.
The Military isn't exactly made for married couples. It takes a STRONG man and woman to make a military marriage work. Deployments...whether they be 30 days or 365 days...are unimaginably tough.
2007-01-22 09:48:55 · answer #2 · answered by S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that military life DOES make it hard on a relationship. I'm not sure how much military life per se affects people...the constant move can be a nightmare or an adventure, depending on how you look at it, but it depends on both people's approach to the situation.
If he thinks that his life is an adventure, and he marries someone who hopes that being with him is worth being separated from her family and friends for sometimes years on end...they won't make it!
Seeing combat definitely changes people, for obvious reasons. The PTSD and all that...
My brother and his family are career Navy. When it's time for their new assignment, he and his wife do their homework, and research where they are going to go, and get all kinds of literature about the new place, and the interesting things that are going to be there.
They go out to dinner, and have a "revealing" about where the next assignment is going to be, and both he and his wife act like this is the best adventure they've ever been on. They also encourage the kids to keep up contact with old friends, and provide opportunities for visits back and forth between old friends. The kids know that when they leave a place, that they are NOT saying goodbye forever, and that helps some....they also know that they're going to make new friends at the next place.
I also have always prayed for the kids...and asked God to give each of them a special friend at their new home, and a support system to replace their extended family. At each assignment they've had, including overseas, they have ALWAYS had "adopted" grandparents or aunties and uncles that replaced the support we would have given them if we were close.
I think that it's all in the approach!!
2007-01-22 05:13:45 · answer #3 · answered by sacanda_trina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, i don't think so. Marriages shouldn't be labeled at all. A person's career shouldn't be the reason why a marriage fails 2 or 3 times, whatever the number of marriages the person's been through. Failure of a marriage is due to lack of commitment, respect, faith & all the hard work needed to keep a marriage together. Your brother being in the Military has nothing to do with why he's on wife #3. I'm pretty sure it's because of the way him & his wife handles their marriage. Marriages & Relationships are all part of our personal lives. To use our careers as an excuse for failed marriage and/or relationships is NOT right. Most of the time it's due to the person, their attitude & effort towards their marriage is what causes it to fail, if not succeed.
2007-01-22 05:13:18 · answer #4 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Many people that marry a military man or woman rarely think ahead as to what is involved in being with a military person, especially a carreer military. You have to be independent and very supportive of that person. I think it does change a person, especially in war time. If you are married to one of these heroes you have to be VERY supportive and independent and able to handle things on your own and they have to know that you can so they can focus on their job and their safety. My husband came from a very tight family and the military made him very strong and able to stand on his own and still have the closeness with his family...maybe your brother needs to slow down when he looks for a partner and pay attention to the traits that after 3 marriages he knows will not work. Good luck to him and thank him for his service to his country
2007-01-22 05:14:03 · answer #5 · answered by myfairlady46 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with the military if a relationship fails. There are separation times but this can strengthen a marriage as long as there is trust and respect for each other. Chances are he would be on his 3rd anyway. Seems he is picking the wrong ones or just rushing in to quick.
2007-01-22 05:01:31 · answer #6 · answered by blue2blnde 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes military people have a high rate of divorce. I was in the first gulf war and my wife cheated and said I was never home. I wasn't even in the country.
2007-01-22 05:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes. Military families have the highest divorce rate. They are also seperated too much. And alot end up with PTSD and thats hard to live with. I lost my bf of three and a half years because of it.
2007-01-22 05:02:28 · answer #8 · answered by JAMI E 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
55% of marriages in North America fail, and most of them do it for reasons other than prolonged seperation or repeated forced moves which only add stress to a relationship.
2007-01-22 05:24:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
properly from what i've got study. Black adult males and white females are kore probable to fail than the different. White females and Asian adult males are extremely probable to fail. White adult males and Asian woken divorce on the comparable cost and white/ white couples. And white adult males and black females have the backside divorce cost. Black/ black have a severe divorce cost yet purely a touch larger than white/white.
2016-10-07 13:24:34 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋