Teen marijuana use - HELP!?

Question

I do not know how to talk w/my teen nephew (14yrs old) who we discovered used marijuana with a friend yesterday - any tips or suggestions would really help! Am worried and scared that this will lead to more drug use (his mother is a drug addict) and I would welcome others' experiences with this issue. Thank you.

Answer 1

i smoke weed so what

Answer 2

There's really not much you can do right now. He's at that age where he's going to try all kind of things because peer pressure is playing a big role in his life right now. Just keep in a close eye on him and see if he does it again because it may have been an experience he didn't even like and he may not do it again. I am 19 now and when I was 14 I tried marijuana and now I am a drug free high school graduate who turned down 4 scholarships to join the army. My mother was a crack addict so don't give up on him yet. See if this "new habit" is really a habit first then react.

Answer 3

He won't appreciate or even consider the because I said approach. Instead, ask him why, how often he has done this. If he knows the consequences of the actions. Point out how his mom is, and without degrading her to him, just ask if that's really how he wants to be. Tell him it worries you, and that you want more for him than what drugs will lead to. And try to relax a little. If it stops at marijuana, you're doing well. Not that I encourage it, but I've seen worse. Also, make sure he knows this breaks a trust between you two, and that he'll have to earn the ground he's lost back.

And as an example, my childrens father is unfortunately still scraping resin out of a pipe, moved on to meth and has drivin away everyone that cared for him, lost his kids, and any respect or friends he once had. He's pathetic, alone and hopeless.

Answer 4

I am 21 and a recovering drug addict...so I know how you must feel! First of all, I need to tell you that you do need to say something to him like: "Hunny, lets talk about this for a second. Why are you smoking weed? How does it make you feel?" he'll probably say something like it makes me feel good. Ask him if it makes him feel invincible, or more powerful, or like he has a better self esteem when he's high. Reassure him that he doesn't need the weed or any other drug for him to be attractive, or more powerful. Explain to him what happenend to his mother. But, you have to understand, if he has that "addictive personality" you can talk until you're blue in the face and it's not going to help. You have to let him make mistakes. We can't control other people, he has to stop doing it for himself, not for anyone else. You should try going to an Al-Anon (sp?) meeting just to learn more about it. Or call up a Chemical Dependancy Center and ask them what they think you should do for him. But, this is coming from a young recovering drug addict...so just remember, he probably does it b/c it makes him feel more like a man. I suggest also that you read "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn, it'll just help you understand him more as a male...good luck!

Answer 5

See if the school has any drug councilors or if there are any in your local area and take him there.
He also needs to be kept busy outside of school (after school sports, clubs, a job) and he need to be kept away from this group of friends. He should be questioned at all times (who are you with, what are you doing, where your at and when your coming home). He must be monitored at all times (straight home or be allowed to go to certain places) with little or no time to meet up with these friends. He must also have household duties (cleaning, laundry, dishes), he should have a curfew and above all consequences for lying.
It may have been a one time thing but using at a very young age is the start of a dangerous path and should be stopped with a heavy hand. Unfortunately, unless he is being raised by a stable person who is willing to implement these things he will likely fall into to the drug life.

Answer 6

That is both unfortunate and dangerous for the child. Chances are that he is associating with bad associations which are influencing his life, including his drug addict mother. He has probably seen enough of that stuff to accept it as though it is not a big thing, something normal that people do. As long as he is living or associating with his mother and her friends he will learn to accept it as normal and eventually become just like them. I hate to tell you this, because you seem very concerned about this incident, but growing up in the South Bronx, New York, I have seen most what is harmful, and this is not good. You should do whatever possible to take him away from that environment....KECK

Answer 7

gee tough one here what ever you do dont agressivly confront him on the matter it'll just cuase him to deny and withdraw
causing the problem to be compounded by still using drugs and
no having anyone they can come to, first adknowlage the fact that you know, dont allow them to deny first you must make him admit to the used if they have not already once there is an understanding of a problem then you can work on a soultion
the problem is finding the soultion there is no one awnser for everybody some people need to see bums on the street begging for change, others need a differant approach, most kids at this time start it for one of two reasons either a. becuase of freinds
b. sheer bordem (you know it's this when you get the "i dont know awnser") when you ask if why they started.. so if it's the freinds that sets you up for an even harder fight against the freinds and the drugs, my soultion is to help them find a hobby they truly love take em rock climbing or sky diving the things you would have loved to do at that age , you put in the effort to find them a healthy hobby they will find freinds in that hobby as well
if you havent noticed there's a communtiy to everything like comic book conventions now i wouldnt say thats healthy but it's better than smoking pot , seriously find him somthing to do
and he'll make freinds with other people sharing that hobbie
and make sure you remember this is for him you may not like
bungie jumping or whatever he's trying to find him self and needs
some guidance but some space, another way to put it
is just to say "look, i understand your freinds are doing this
and you wan tto be cool with you freinds, but we loved and raised you , your life is you own this is true but we raised you and arent sdone yet, we have worked hard to bring you up and all we ask is that you make it to college when your in college you will be smart enough to make your own descions" if you notice you reaffirm you love them you also recongize that they are an individual and have a choice, and that if THEY love YOU , they will do this one thing for you, anyways theres a few ideas for you on how to handle it
oh yea WHO EVER SAID DRUG TEST YOU KID EVERY TWO WEEKS IS AN IDIOT you kid is fragile right now you must give him love and deal with it inside of the family first before you go to
re hab school counsilor and all of that other stuff
(i went through this same thing and my parents over reacted and
cuased me to withdraw and go on a drug binge for the next 5 years)

Answer 8

That's a bad situation to be in.

Why not start with mom (sis)? Be truthful, everyone needs to know that marijuana is not a harmful drug in and of itself for SMALL amounts. And I will not use the cliche that it's a 'gateway drug'. But marijuana is widely used with other drugs, most likely alcohol and cigarettes, that will cause problems themselves.

Once you get to that point, and the weed, alcohol, and cigarettes don't give you the 'high' you used to get, that's when you start looking for another chemical to abuse. He/she may also be tempted to start smoking marijuana chronically, all day, every day.

Both should probably go to the doctor together, and have them explain a lot of things. Marijuana is a very 'dulling' drug. Other than making you hungry and then very sleepy (the zombie effect), it interferes with healthy interaction with other people who don't do drugs daily like he does. He'll probably be the 'slacker' who sits in the back of the class with his feet up, and breezes by on D's.

Also, there are several university studies that suggest that marijuana will cause your kid to be 'held back' a little socially. The more time they spend stoned, the less time that they will spend meeting people, doing anything constructive, and broadening themselves as a person. Essentially they will be less mature than their friends.

Finally, if any of this doesn't bother you, as they get more depending on the drug to 'take the edge off', they'll realize that they've done damage to their lungs. Pot is loaded with tar and will gum up their lungs before they know it. Then you are in danger of real physical problems, lungs filled with black, COPD, emphysema, pleuresy, and other chronic lung diseases you couldn't even mention.

Do please make an effort. I used to be one of them.

Answer 9

Out of all of the people I know that have smoked pot or do smoke pot (either regularly or irregularly), I would say that less than 10% have gone on to other drugs. I wouldn't be overly concerned about it.

In this day and age, pot is equated with drinking and smoking in terms of how "bad" of a drug it is. I would talk to him more about moderation. The biggest problem people have with weed is not use, but how often and how much they use.

He will continue to smoke pot with friends, at parties, etc in the future, so better tell him how to do it in moderation and how to be safe (don't drive, don't accept rides from stoned people, don't allow weed to get in the way of school, friends, etc).

Keep an eye on him in the future to make sure he isn't abusing it, and he should grow up to be fine.

Answer 10

Im not gonig to lie to you and say i think smoking pot is bad, because its not. I still do it. HOWEVER Im 22 and Im allowed to make those decisions for myself. ANYWAY back to your question.....I started smoking pot when i was 15 and by the time I was 17 I had done coke, crack, numerous kinds of pills, acid, mushrooms and heroin, by no means am I proud of this- I F**Ked my life up pretty bad and it took almost 2 years to get it "back to good" So you are right to be concerned about other drug use, especially since it runs in the family. I dont know what advise to give you because it depends on his mindset and values...My parents never did and still dont do drugs, they gave me the pamphlets on smoking and drug use and told me not to do those things and told me to stay away from those people.....and when i disobeyed them i'd get grounded, etc....BUT I still did drugs, all the time. I dont know if they were dumb or just stopped caring....
THE POINT IS: There is no sure fire way to stop a teenager from expiramenting....just edcuate him the best you can and give him stories from your life experiences (or others) and just try to be more of a friend than a "mom" or "grown up".

Answer 11

That is a tough one. I would be very straight with him. Let him know that you know what he and his friend did and ask him what he thought of the whole experience. Ask him if he felt like he did something wrong. Does he know about his mother's drug problems? In a teen's head, a parent that uses makes it "okay". Mom does it, so it can't really be that bad. Use a lot of real life what if scenarios. Ask questions about what he thinks drug habits are like... I would brainstorm a list of questions to ask him to see what he thinks - his answers may surprise you. Definitely make it a discussion, not just a lecture.