was terribly upset. He does not want me to have the baby and I am just shocked. Through the last pregnancy he was very excited and anticipating the baby. I have talked to him but he is just shutting me out and saying he is trying to focus on other things. (I am as well but sometimes you just have to make changes!) I cannot bear to deal with the alternatives that he is suggesting but I cannot have this baby alone either. I have no idea what to do.
2007-01-22 04:44:09 · 10 answers · asked by LaLa 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I dont believe it has much to do with the last pregnancy, but moreso to do with him not being where he wants to be financially/with his goals in life. Does not want the 'responsibility'.
2007-01-22 04:48:43 · update #1
He'll come around... he's just scared to become attached to the idea, for fear of being let-down again.
2007-01-22 04:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, it could be a number of things. However, I think you should have your baby especially after having a miscarriage. Even if he does not come around, trust me it amy be tough to be on your own but there are places you can go for help to take care of your baby. If you really want this child then do not worry about him and his insecurities. Just give him time to wrap his mind around having a child and let him know that you intend on keeping this pregancy and remind him that although he feels that he cannot bear the responsibility of having a kid he did take on the responsibility of sleeping with you so now he has to deal with his grown up decision! Also remind him of how excited and heart broken you both were about the first baby! Good luck!
2007-01-22 04:57:25 · answer #2 · answered by Diamond 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever the reason, it's his problem. Many people don't 'choose' to become parents; it happens, whether they like it or not. What do YOU want to do? REMEMBER: Whatever the decision is, it is one you will live with for the rest of your life. That's the thing about choices.
You know what all of the options are. Sounds like he is pushing abortion and maybe you don't believe in that. You can have the baby and raise it. Yes, it will be difficult, but it can be done. Many of us have done it...and successfully. But he might fight you on that one since he doesn't want the responsibility. It is still YOUR decision. If you choose NOT to keep the baby, there are plenty of child-less couples/singles who would love to love your child as theirs. Give this some thought. Keep in mind that this is a choice that will mostly affect YOU. Sounds like so much more should have been considered before you conceived.
2007-01-22 05:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by Suzan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Naw it's not that he doesn't want the responsibility... it's just that he's a man. He probibly convinced himself that the last miscarriage was a blessing and is now all buggered up with mixed emotions. When a man has mixed emotions generally the ugliest of them emerge. It takes them a bit longer to deal with the idea of being a father and having to care for a baby. Sucks to be him though cause your already pregnant... hopefully he'll come around soon, else he's gonna screw up a good thing.
2007-01-22 04:53:45 · answer #4 · answered by Gig 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be as shrewd as a snake yet as innocent as a dove. It is obvious from reading this that he really doesn't love you and is just using you for sex. It is so unfortunate that so many young women fall into this trap of giving themselves to a man thinking that this is the way that he will want me more and love me more. Unfortunately as you found out this just isn't true. Many men as you have found out really just want to use women to have sex and really don't think about pregnancy. I know you may protect yourself with contraception but sometimes it just doesn't work. I'm sorry you found out the hard way.
I really want you to have this baby, but I know how scared you are because it is going to be so hard to support a child by yourself. I wish there was some way you could con this guy into marrying you so that you could get financial support in raising this child. Children should be a blessing and not a burden. I hope you have this baby, because abortions are so emotionally painful to women and it destroys their peace in life because deep down they know that they have killed an innocent life. It is just so sad.
2007-01-22 04:59:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people already remarked your husband(?) may be just scared, but honestly his response is quite irresponsible. Especially considering you had miscarriage before already, he should be giving you all the support and care he can muster, not go off to sulk and simply ignore the problem.
Perhaps he does need some time, but you'd best make it clear to him that you need his support badly and he'd better get used to the idea, because you're gonna have his baby, whether he likes it or not.
2007-01-22 04:57:53 · answer #6 · answered by xane76 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if it's more the responsibility and less the last pregnancy, it still sounds like he's scared. And an unexpected pregnancy can be very scary, I was scared to death with my last one, and it was with my husband so it's not like I was all alone. Give him time, you all have time.
2007-01-22 04:50:37 · answer #7 · answered by tabithap 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear this. Could you convince him to go to counselling with you? If he does not want to go, I still think you should go by yourself. A counsellor can help walk you through some different scenarios and maybe give you some other ideas as well. Good luck!
2007-01-22 04:51:40 · answer #8 · answered by soulreflector 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my significant other was so scared when i told him he took it hard, he didnt know what to do he was kinda mean about it but once we went to the doctors and told our parents he became alot better and now he cant cant wait for the baby to get here, he's picked out the names
2007-01-22 05:54:25 · answer #9 · answered by Kandie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he's just scared that you might have another miscarrage... he is afraid to get his hopes up for some thing that'll just bring him down... he doesn't want to set himself up again... i'm sure if you talk to him about it... he'll eventually come around to it...
2007-01-22 04:53:09 · answer #10 · answered by Yemi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋