live in texas and I have a 9 month old son with my Exbf. He did not sign the acknowledgement of paternity papers at the hospital so there for I am the legal guardian. We were going to make arrangements for him to keep him this past weekend but he could not stop and talk civil to me. All he was doing was calling me name and hanging up.No arrangements were set in stone. He ended up calling the police on me and telling them I was keping his son from him. The police and him came over to my house and I was scared out of my mind. I am the legal guardian and I wanted him off my property so the police had him leave and explained with out a court order I dont have to give him the child. (its not that I didnt want him to see him, his tone and the names he called me scared me) I have started the process for child support but have decided to retain a lawyer given the circumstances. I dont have my appointment till 1/30 though. I am so scared of what he will do in the mean time. Any advice???
2007-01-22 04:34:13 · 10 answers · asked by Kelly K 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Learn your lessons from this:
Use birth control
Be a little more picky & discriminating when you choose to f**k someone.
Use birth control
Document with video, tape, written notes, witnesses his bad behavior
Use birth control
Consider not going for child support, having child support may benefit you & your child financially but it GUARANTEES he will be involved in your life for the next 18 years.
Get a restraining order
Be a little more picky & discriminating when you choose to f**k someone.
AND MORE THAN ANYTHING:
USE BIRTH CONTROL !!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-22 04:49:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
At this point, neither one of you is required to allow the other to see the child. But, it will not look good if you do not allow him to spend time with his child.
Once there are court orders in place, then you will just have to follow what they say as a minimum. Child support and all that will be determined at the same time.
The police will not do anything in this matter except ask the parent who wants the child to leave. Without court orders, there is nothing they can do.
Also, you really don't need to talk to him about anything when it comes to him picking up the child. It is nice to think you two can act civil. If not, he should be able to pick the child up, not say a word to you, and be on his way. If he doesn't want to talk to you, then he doesn't. If you are attempting to talk to him, and he doesn't want to talk to you, let it go, and let him spend some time with his child. There are many parents who don't even see each other. A friend of mine picks his kids up from the daycare, and drops them off at the daycare, and never sees the mother at all.
**Added**
There is a lot of talk about a restraining, or in Texas, a Protective order. Given the facts you stated, you would not be able to get one. From what you stated, he really didn't do anything threatening to you or the child. You were scared because the police showed up. As I stated, you two do not have to get along with each other. You do not have to talk. You should be able to make the switch with the child without saying a word if that is how it needs to be.
As the mother of the child, you do not have any more legal rights to the child over the father. Whether or not he is on the paternity now or not, eventually, if he is going to be made to pay child support, his paternity will be determined. The possession order will determine visitation. No where in that order will it ever state that you two need to "talk" at anytime. It will state the times he will have the child, and the times you will have the child.
I would be careful about listening to these people talking protective orders and getting "full custody". Nothing you said in your question would lead me to believe a judge would grant this in your case. So he doesn't want to talk to you. That is not a requirement for you to "allow"(until orders are in place determining visitation) him to see the child.
To me, and this will not be a popular statement, sounds like you are trying to talk to him, and when he doesn't want to, are keeping his child from him. It sound to me like he would like to pick up his child and have nothing to do with you. Best bet, let him spend time with the child, and leave him alone.
2007-01-22 04:51:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mentioned your infant's father did no longer sign the paternity papers--making you your baby's sole dad or mum & verify. Is he indexed on the delivery certificates because of the fact the father? If he's, does he have a replica of it? and not utilising a courtroom order, he won't be able to take your baby--even for visits till you permit him. If he does it besides, he could desire to be charged with kidnapping--or a minimum of custodial interference. in case you experience threatened by skill of him--get a restraining order as quickly as obtainable. do no longer call him or have any touch with him till once you talk on your lawyer. After that, purely touch him by your lawyer, the courtroom or the dept of Social amenities. If he comes yet returned, call the police your self. If he comes with the officers, stay calm and clarify the area to them--instruct them the restraining order (in case you have one), courtroom orders or the different paperwork you have and each little thing would be high quality. sturdy luck! On yet another be conscious--are not you happy you left this guy? If it extremely is this undesirable now, merely think of what it may be like in case you have been nonetheless with him! there will be people who inform you which you're no longer being a sturdy verify on account which you're no longer with your infant's father--they could desire to strengthen up! Having a baby isn't a reason to stay in a foul relationship--it extremely is risky no longer purely for the two certainly one of you, it is likewise risky for the baby.
2016-11-26 19:07:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are afraid of him you should file a restraining order. The lawyer handeling your child support should be able to do this rather quickly and inexpensivly. The police can also help you file one of these yourself. If you are having trouble paying for legal help contact the city bar assocaition about some pro-bono representation. If you are in the Houston area Houston Volunteer Lawyer's Program may be of some help.
2007-01-22 04:53:13 · answer #4 · answered by Atptim 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First and foremost. Is your child in any danger? If you were scared, imagine what that little boy will be going through. If you feel that it is in the best interest of the child to not see his maternal father, then give up the child support for full custody of the child. It would be better to raise this child alone then to put your child in potential harm.
If your child's father is willing to pay child support because he understands that the money he is giving to you is going to be used to help raise his child (A lot of fathers think that the woman just wants more of his money to spend on herself which is not so in most cases.) and is he going to be consistently in your child's life? If this is the case and your baby will not be in any harm, then you should add this guy to your baby's birth certificate and give him joint custody. You will need to sit down with him and both agree that you will have to raise this baby together and would have to be civil with each other. That means that for the sake of the baby you will need to let go of your past with this guy and think of only what is best for the child. Also, you would need to agree that if he calls you names like this again and is violent in any way, he will not be seeing the child.
2007-01-22 04:51:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should immediately get a restraining order against him. You also should consider suing for custody of the child, making LEGAL arrangements. You may want to sit with him in a PUBLIC place and discuss the arrangements with your child and how your relationship needs to be.... It will get better (hopefully)
My daughter is with my ex. We dated for a few months and I went back to the guy I dated before him (I'm now married to this guy). When I was pregnant, he used to stalk me at work, at home, and where ever I was during the day. After I had the baby (which I didn't tell him about, but he found out by word of mouth), we tried to work on our friendsip relationship for a while, to no avail. He suddenly wanted to play "daddy" after my guy and I moved back in together and bought a house. He did everything from deny paternity to beg for time with her. He sat outside our house and rang on the doorbell until I had to call the cops. I finally sued for child support so that a paternity test could be done (because he was adamant for a while that I cheated on him and the kid wasn't his). After it was set in stone that she is HIS kid, he wanted to play daddy when it was convinient for him. He'd take time to drink, not work, and do exsessive drugs, and when he was broke and homeless (actually staying with his folks), he wanted to spend time with her.... whatever.
Anyhow, I kept a little journal with dates and times of all of the crap that he did and took him to court on it. He lives with his mom again and is doing a lot better now. He went to rehab and has had a steady job for almost a year now. The crazy thing is that we're better friends now than ever. He pays support and our daughter visits at G-ma's house every weekend. He still has his little bits of partying (drug and alcohol free) that makes me mad because he chooses that over seeing his kid. But I tell myself it's his loss. My kid has my husband that she's always known as her daddy and she calls him daddy.... he's been the only man in her life the entire time.
If you are that scared (which it sounds like you are), see if a family member or friends will let you crash at your place, or get your friends to stay with you so that you feel safer. Invest in a baseball bat and some pepper spray... keep them out of reach of the baby, of course... you don't want him to hurt you. Get a prepaid cellphone and don't put minutes on it. Keep it under your mattress or on your person at all times ON. Even though you can't call from it, you can dial 911 and all phones have GPS on them so the emergency folks can find out where you are.
I'm not trying to scare you, I just want you to be prepared. You are smart with getting an attorney. Just keep you and your baby safe.
Good luck!
2007-01-22 04:52:33 · answer #6 · answered by Summer 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are scared for your life and your sons get a no contact or a restraining order. Do it before your appointment with your attorney. Sounds like you have your base's covered. Good luck, stay safe.
2007-01-22 04:47:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't answer the door for him or take his phone calls, if comes knocking on your door pick up the phone and call the police.
2007-01-22 04:44:33 · answer #8 · answered by Angelz 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
GET a Firearm .Learn to use it.Texas is a good state to protect your self in .especially after dark..check on your local gun laws,so to be shore .
2007-01-22 04:47:12 · answer #9 · answered by tdwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a baby with this jacka$$?
2007-01-22 04:43:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋