is my mom overprotective, or is it just me?

Question

Okay, my mom and I always get into fights about what I am allowed to do and what I'm not allowed to do.

I am 14 years old. Please tell me if its just me or if she is over protective.

1. If I want a cell phone, I have to pay for it and the bills.
2. I have to be homeschooled through highschool, which I DO NOT want to be.
3. I'm not allowed to go to a sleepaway camp for one week with my good friend because it's 6 hrs away. (Its a christian camp. My friend has been going there for 3 years)
4. My mom has to read the lyrics to every song I download. An example of a song that I'm not allowed to listen to "Sk8r Boi" by Avril Lavinge because there is a part in the song when it mentions a girl wanting a guy or something.
5. I'm not allowd to watch and PG-13 movie, any awards show or American Idol.

I'm feeling really pent up inside. One day I'm just going to snap. Please tell me if I'm over reacting!

I think that she means well, but sometimes it's just too much. She says that she loves me and she knows what's best for me.

She won't let me go to highscool because she's afraid that I will be influenced by others in a bad way.

I'm sick of people staring at me funny when they find out that I'm homeschooled. And some kid even asked if my parents beat me! I can't tell you how much that hurt me. My parents are strict, but they don't beat me, so please remember that.

Answer 1

She is being wayyy too overprotective.

The cell phone is understandable, you have to work for what you want, although your mom should help you pay at least a little.

The home schooled thing is just plain cruel. How are you going to learn unless you fall down a few times? Sometimes you need to be put into a bad situation so that you can fix it the next time. What happens when something happens when you're older? You won't know how to handle it as well, since you haven't had past experience or help. Also, socializing is a skill everyone should have. You need to learn how to get along with people...and learn with them. You need to learn how to help others, and they need to learn how to help you.

The camp thing is wrong because it's a Christian camp, c'mon, it just sounds like a safe place, and your friend will be there. And six hours for one week is very normal. Kids go places even farther than that.

You can't listen to Sk8r Boy? Are you joking? You're a very calm person, I would have been a brat and slapped my mother by now.

You're over thirteen. You should be able to watch PG 13 movies. American Idol isn't even bad at ALL. And what's wrong with award shows?

You're NOT overreacting. I would have snapped long ago, so I applaud you for keeping cool. But honestly, you shouldn't have to put up with this, because it's utter crap. And if your mother keeps pushing you in one direction, you're going to think that you can get away by going in the other direction, and you could end up doing a lot worse than she even thinks you would do if you went to high school.

Answer 2

Coming from the girl who couldn't watch PG-13 movies until she was 13, could only watch ALF, Cosby, Cheers, and MASH, and had a 12 pm curfew until I moved out at the age of 22:

1. If I want a cell phone, I have to pay for it and the bills. TOTALLY FAIR. WHY SHOULD SHE HAVE TO PAY THE BILL? YOU DON'T NEED A CELL PHONE, YOU'RE 14, NOT A DOCTOR.

2. I have to be homeschooled through highschool, which I DO NOT want to be. I'M SURE SHE HAS VALID REASONS FOR THIS, THE PUBLIC EDUCATION SYSTEM IN THIS COUNTRY IS A DISGUSTING MESS. PERHAPS YOU COULD WORK OUT A COMPROMISE TO PARTICIPATE IN SOME ACTIVITIES LIKE SPORTS OR DRAMA AT THE HIGH SCHOOL BUT STILL STAY AT HOME FOR SCHOOLING (Local schools have to accept homeschoolers for these things).

3. I'm not allowed to go to a sleepaway camp for one week with my good friend because it's 6 hrs away. (Its a christian camp. My friend has been going there for 3 years) THIS IS A BIT CRAZY. IT IS A FREAKING CHURCH CAMP. I'D START PUSHING A BIT ON THIS ONE, PERHAPS GETTING A LIST OF REFERENCES FROM THE CAMP TOGETHER AS WELL AS THE DIRECTORS NAME AND NUMBER SO YOUR MOTHER CAN CALL AND HAVE HER QUESTIONS/CONCERNS ANSWERED.

4. My mom has to read the lyrics to every song I download. An example of a song that I'm not allowed to listen to "Sk8r Boi" by Avril Lavinge because there is a part in the song when it mentions a girl wanting a guy or something. SMART WOMAN. MOST OF THE MUSIC OUT THERE NOW IS COMPLETE TRASH. I WILL ADMIT THAT THIS SEEMS A BIT OVERBEARING... I CAN SEE NOT WANTING YOU TO LISTEN TO WU-TANG BUT AVRIL? SHE'S JUST A TEENY-BOPPER.

5. I'm not allowd to watch and PG-13 movie, any awards show or American Idol. AWARDS SHOWS ARE LAME, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO WATCH THEM? AMERICAN IDOL IS A LITTLE WEIRD THOUGH, THIS IS A WHOLESOME, FAMILY SHOW THAT ENCOURAGES PEOPLE TO BE MORE CREATIVE AND MUSICAL. PERHAPS IF YOU TOOK SOME MUSIC LESSONS OR SOMETHING SHE WOULD SEE MORE VALUE? AS FOR THE MOVIES, TECHNICALLY THE RATING INDICATES THAT YOU ARE NOW MATURE ENOUGH FOR THE MATERIAL. PERHAPS YOU TWO COULD DISCUSS EACH MOVIE INDIVIDUALLY SINCE SOME ARE FOR LANGUAGE, OTHERS FOR SEX, OR VIOLENCE, ETC. THERE ARE SOME PG-13 MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH TOGETHER TO START OFF SLOWLY...

Good luck. Tread carefully, speak to your mother like a mature person, not a screaming, crying, baby. Use words like compromise. Try to get her to try out some of the things she bans you from with her, so that if the movie gets to "hairy" she is there and can cover your eyes... at some point she will have to acknowledge that you are growing up.

Answer 3

1. I am 20 and until I moved out I STILL had that rule. I never ended up getting a cell, was jealous of random people who had them, and living on my own and understanding how much it costs to have a cell every month, it is much more efficient to use a quarter for a payphone when you need it. So I think she is being reasonable.
2. That is something you need to really discuss with your mother. Try calling a highschool guidence counciller and asking for them to talk to your parents. Ask if there are programs you can join which will allow you to go to highschool and have them convinced that you are not falling in with the "bad" crowd.

As for 3-5, it sounds like your mother is scared that you will grow up and learn about sex, and experiment with drugs, and date boys. I'm sure this is a typical fear, but you need to sit down with her and talk to her about it. Ask to go to family councilling to discuss how you feel about everything. I had to do that for a year and it really helped my relationship with my mum because she was being quite unreasonable as well about certain things.

In the end, you are going to try those things eventually, and it would be nice if you had your mom to go to if you had questions.

She may be unreasonable, but probably doesn't even realize it.

Answer 4

Overprotective and this could hamper your ability to relate to others and even your safety if you do not know how to handle certain situations. As far as High School it is your choice at that point how you want to persue your education, contact your local High School you have the right to a public education by law despite your mom's objections. Your mom sounds disturbed, I'm sure you never seen the movie Carrie but your mom sounds like the characters mom in the movie. Not all parents have their son/daughters best interest in mind there are emotionally, menatlly disturbed parents in the world. As a father of 4 your mom seems unstable and if allowed to continue it will harm you in the long run.

Answer 5

Yea, thats a little much. The cellphone i can kinda see becuase in all honesty they are not cheap. But the homeschooling during HS times and the Movies.. and the music. Shes gonna have to learn that its there whether she likes it or not! All she is gonna do is push you away and tho she may say 'You'll thank me when you older' Yea that maybe for somethings.. but it really is a little rediculous. I have a 7 and 6 yr old daughter and they still get to sleep over at friends and they listen to things like Avril etc.. ppl have to understand that its there but forcing your child NOT to experience something is just asking for trouble. Dont ppl get it when you say NO.. more kids will do it becuase you said no! Atleast make compromises. Maybe i feel this way becuase im a younger mom (only 25) becuase i know my Mother In Law and I dont see eye to eye becuase shes an 'old school' (as me and hubby' call her) parent. Things have changed in the past yrs when they were having thier children growing up. Good luck tho hon!

Answer 6

I know how u feel, i have a cell phone, but im only supposed to use it for calling them. I was homeschooled too, i hated it. I got to go my frosh year of HS, best year! Now the songs, i just download without telling them, before, in the days of cd's, my dad would read the song names in the store hella loud. Oh, and, I can't even go anywhere at all, only to skool, finished HS early. I can't even go to friends houses. i snapped, sort of. Some advice, just sit back, there's nothing u can really do.

Answer 7

Well, I guess some of it is being overprotective. My son is 16 and I still read all the lyrics to the songs he downloads, though. And I'd probably hesitate letting him spend a week at a place 6 hours away, although I'd probably give in. The other stuff is a little extreme, in my opinion.

Answer 8

Let me tell you from personal experience ( you might want your Mom to read this one).

My parents were so over-protective that I wasn't allowed to breath without their knowledge. As an adult now, I have no friends because I cannot relate to people. I have no job because my personal and proffessional skills are nil or very bad. Although I wasn't home schooled in jr and senior high schools, I was kept away from making friends or going to events because my parents were afraid that I would get in with the wrong people or crowd. By the time I hit 6th grade, all my peers knew not to bother trying to be my friend because once they did, my parents would make me call them up and tell them we couldn't speak to each other anymore. I even got in trouble if my parents found out that my peers had gotten themselves into a mess.

I have no sense of self identity, because my whole life I was wrapped up in being the perfect person for my parents, that I never discovered myself. I now suffer from severe anxiety and depression. It is so bad that I cannot keep a steady job, which makes me rely on my husband, futhur sending me into depression because I cannot function in a normal marriage relationship. I'm only 25. Don't let this happen to you.

Answer 9

Yeh she is very very very over protective i am 13 and i am allowed to watch a 18 year old movie even wheni was like 3 but ur mum won't let you watch a 13 year old movie when you are 14. My mum don't care what song i listen to and i've got a mobile phone and i have to pay none of the bills or for the phone.

Answer 10

OK thats pretty bad she needs to get a grip i mean like you said she does just want the bast for you but really if she keeps on being soo strict your gonna rebel! and that wont be fun for her!

Ok and the american idol thing give me a break its not like theres nudity on the dang show!

and song lyrics hunny you need to figure out a plan to make your mom not soo freaky about the little stuff!!!!

it seems to me she a little OVER THE TOP!!!!!

Hope i could help and good luck!

~a teenager myself~