At what age do you begin let your baby "cry it out" when it is bedtime and would you recommend this method?

Question

And, when I say cry it out, I mean that you would do this after a soothing bedtime routine, and only for a few minutes before going in to soothe the baby. Then you would leave again for several minutes & continue repeating the procedure until the baby eventually falls asleep.

Answer 1

I did a lot pf research about "crying it out" or "Ferberizing". My son was 3 1/2 months old when I started. I know...many people would say this is too young, but I was desperate. He would cry for about 45 minutes in my arms before falling asleep anyway and then wake up after 10-20 minutes of being in his crib...then we'd start all over again. My pediatrician told me it was OK to let him cry for as long as I was comfortable and knew that everything was OK (not hungry, in pain, wet). I also talked to my grandmother, mother, and mother-in-law and they all said they let their kids cry it out at around 3-4 months. I decided to give it a try one day at my grandma's house for a nap. We laid a blanket down when he started getting tired and fussy (no crib at her house). She said just let him lay there and cry and see what happens. We watched and she helped me be strong. I had never let him cry without picking him up at this point for more than 2 minutes. It took about 20 minutes and he fell asleep. He slept for about 45 minutes and woke up smiling. That night I decided that I was going to do it. I started a routine and at the end put him in his crib awake. He cried for 1 hour and 10 minutes. I cried myself, but didn't go in because I thought it would upset us both more. The next day I did the same thing for naps and again at bedtime. The second night he cried for 30 minutes, then 10. Now (3 weeks later) he never cries for more than 6 or 7 minutes and when he wakes up he will fuss and cry for a few minutes but eventually put himself back to sleep. The whole family is now much happier. My son is much less fussy all day. It was hard, but we are so happy we did it.

Answer 2

My daughter is 13 and I still remember the night I did this. She was 11 months old. She would wake up and not go back to sleep because she didn't know how to do that herself. So at bedtime, I did the usual routine for bedtime. Sang her song, rubbed her back, etc. I walked out of the room and shut her door almost the whole way. I peeked through the crack to watch her. She sat up and looked around awhile. When she got bored, she started to cry. I did not go to her. (I know it seemed sorta cruel but it is what the Ferber method recommended.) She cried for about 5 minutes and fell asleep with her head between the crib rails. Poor thing....after she was sound asleep, I went in and laid her down and covered her back up.

That was all it ever took. The next night I think she cried or whimpered but it didn't' even last a minute.

I have never forgotten that evening.

I think I waited until she was 11 months because she was a breast fed baby, so I waited until she no longer wanted fed during the night.

Answer 3

There are pros and cons to the "crying it out" method - it's also called "Ferberizing" or the "Ferber" technique. I suggest you google it and see what you come up with. A new born should, in my opinion always be comforted - many times they are just trying to cope with the new world they've entered. I believe the newborn should be made to feel safe an secure as possible - this has been known for thousands of years - hence the technique of "swaddling" or wrapping a baby very tightly. I'd say at about 6 months or so, you can start letting the baby cry it out a little bit, but always come to let the baby know that "mom", "dad" or someone is there in case there is trouble/anxiety, etc.

Answer 4

It all depends on what is going on. When your baby can't talk they use crying to communicate. They made be hungry or over tired ect. If your baby has a dry diaper and has been fed and not sick I don't see any reason to not allow your baby to cry it out. Also you might want to think how much longer you will be able to smooth the baby. They grow up quick and you might end up regretting the time you could of had with the baby.

Answer 5

I say you can do it at 4 or 5 months. When my daughter was 4 or 5 months and I put her to sleep, sometimes she would cry. I'd wait for a few minutes and if she was still crying than I would go in and get her. Sometimes she would cry for a few minutes and than fall to sleep.

Answer 6

I did it with both of mine at about 6 months. They went into their own room after the same nightly routine , stories, bath, lots of kisses and hugs, and i would say its night night over and over while putting them down, then when they got a little older they understood what was fixing to happen and they would go down really well without crying. I never owuld go into the room unless they were crying to a point that had me concerned, cause if i did that then after i put them back down they would be even more pissed that i didnt take them out.

Answer 7

I did not start until 16 months....I wish I would have started earlier.

Don't do the 15 min cry / go in and check and leave again. It upsets them more

My doc said let them cry for up to 2 hrs then go check, it seemed like FOREVER but she only cried for 23 1/2 minutes the first night....and then shorter every night thereafter...she got used to it.

Be strong, I used to go outside so I didn't hear her screaming "mommy".

Answer 8

I let my daughter cry it out at 10 months old. She cried for more than 2 hours the first night.


Now at 20 months old she usually sleeps very well all night long.

Answer 9

Well.......that depends a lot on the baby. With my own children I let my oldest cry himself to sleep when he was about 6 months old--I finally just had to. With my other two, I had learned to relax a lot more and tell when they were just wanting attention & fighting sleep and when they were really in distress. As long as you know your child is healthy, and safe, you can let them cry as long as you can take it. Remember to take your own advice and check on them every few minutes to make sure they are alright, but just let them cry. It's hard to do & very frustrating--especially for new parents. If your child changes the tone of crying--sounding seriously distressed, or stops crying suddenly, go check that everything is alright immediately. The first time my oldest just stopped crying all of the sudden it scared me something awful; when one of my other two did it too, I checked in--just to make sure & was glad I did as he had gotten himself trapped in the blankets. He was fine, but I recently heard of someone who didn't go check who's baby died because of this. Be safe, be smart & hang on for the ride of your life!

Answer 10

Early on. About 4 or 5 months. As long as they are safe and ready for bed.