Why Is It That Some Women Allow Their Men To Beat Their @sses?

Question

I am so tired of reading about men beating their wives to death! For all of you timid women out there, I just need to know.....why do you allow this kind of abuse? You don't deserve this type of treatment! I just got through reading an article about a man beating his wife to death with his bare hands. I also saw another case on the news over the weekend? This kind of ordeal wouldn't even be happening to me. I don't need kick-boxing lessons, I don't need to have a gun, I don't need the police until they come and get me. Because trust me ladies.....All I need is for him to go to sleep while I boil water and then beat his @ss with a hot pot! I'm not trying to give people horrible ideas on how to defend yourself. I'll leave that entirely up to you. But if my man ever even act like he want to do some damage to me, it going to be a misunderstanding! And I mean a serious one! I guess that's why I don't have these problems because if looks could kill....he would be a dead @ss!

Dovie 1st of all don't get your panties in such a knot. You're writing tells me that you still have some issues. You're writing feels angry! Maybe it's time for you to take some anger management classes. And I wasn't being judgemental! Quiet as it's kept, I was feeling bad about what was going on! And trust me, you don't ever have sit back and wait on this crap happening to me! I was raised in a dog eat dog world and where I come from, we'll take it to the streets sweetie! The cops are coming anyway! So we might as well give them something to write in their report! Of course I will be the one reporting what happened and the so called man that tried to hurt me will be in a body bag or critical! It's about surviving! As Tina Turner sang....What's Love Got To Do With It? Look how many @ss whoopins she took! That true life story in itself should make people wake up and smell the coffee!

Also Dovie the comment you made about women killing their spouses and doing life in prison. My feeling on that is:

I would rather be trialed by 12, then carried by 6!

Answer 1

I'm right w/you, sister!! I don't understand it, I'd kill them in their sleep.

Answer 2

Women tend to stay with men (and vise versa) who are abusive because of the way the are treated (not the phyical aspect of the relationship, but the psychological one) men who are abusive physically by nature, are also the ones who put their lady down all the time. They abuse them mentally too. This happend to my mother a lot in her past relationships until she realized that she deserved much better. Also, the insecurities caused by the abusive man, will cause they woman to stay in a relationship with him. If he treats me this way, who's to say someone else won't? Some woman actually believe that you can change a man who has been raised in a family that's abusive, the idea of "you are a product of your environment" comes to mind. Never mislead yourself into thinking that you alone can change someone like this. They need REAL help, and it's ok to look for that help, not only for him/ her, but for you too.

Answer 3

You just don't understand!

This is not funny or about "timid" women. There are so many reasons why women don't leave and until you've been through it yourself, you just have that "not me" mentality.

Let me tell you something. I was a 24-year-old woman with a college degree and a good and decent family. I had all the priveleges of a white upper middle class upbringing. I was perhaps a little sheltered and naive when I got married, but I married for love and for life. My ex-husband is of a different culture and my parents did not want me to marry him in the first place, but I loved him.

The first time he hit me I was seven months' pregnant. I said something he didn't like and he slapped me across the mouth. I was shocked and scared and sad. He never appologized and I simply thought that I must have really made him angry - it was my fault.

The second time was when the baby was about four months old. I was holding her in my arms and he hit me so hard across the head that I blacked out, slammed my head against the wall and went down. I came to after a few seconds and I was still holding the baby. She was okay, but crying. I was stunned. He told me that if I called the police or went to the hospital, he would lose his law license, I would be broke and he would kill me and our child.

After that, it was about a twice a year thing that he would go off and hurt me physically. In between, he systematically lay waste to my self-esteem. I was too fat or too thin. I couldn't cook well enough or clean well enough. I wasn't good in bed. No other man would want me and I would be alone. You can't imagine what this type of torture does - it works! I know that I didn't deserve it and that I was a good wife and mother. I knew that he was "sick" and I thought that I could help him and everything would be okay. This went on for years - and years. I couldn't leave because I couldn't support three children. What if he harmed them when he had them? Where would I go? He threatened me with a gun and said that he would kill me if I left.

Honey - you are being extremely judgemental and naive when you claim that you wouldn't take it. I thought that too. I dreamed of killing him with poison - but I knew that I would spend the rest of my life in prison.

I finally got out after 18 years. My kids were older and I thought that I would die if I didn't. Yes, he came after me. Yes, he harmed me. Yes, his words still ring in my ears and I am afraid and my self-esteem is very low.

You just don't know how bad your words made me feel. You make it sound like MY fault that it happened - not his. I was stupid for staying and you're so much smarter right?. I hope to God that you are never in that position, but until you are, please don't make it worse. If you want to make a statement, why don't you step in and try to help a woman in crisis? Help at a shelter for abused women and children. Listen to their stories and try to develop some empathy.

Believe me, when I was younger I thought nothing like that would EVER happen to me - I was too smart and too deserving. I think that you would change your mind if you could see the inside of a relationship like that. It's extremely insidious. Do you think that these women should have just killed their husbands? How do you think the court looks at that? Are you under the impression that because it was self-defense that they would get off? YOU ARE WRONG!!! Women's prisons have many inmates who killed abusive partners and are now serving life without parole.

I hope you are strong and healthy and that something like this never happens to you, but please reserve judgement until you've walked in our shoes.

Answer 4

Most of these women have their husbands "supporting" them because they're too lazy to go out there and get a full time job. They prefer to eat bon bons and watch soap operas all day and get beaten up then to gain full independence with a full-time job or career.

Answer 5

I don't understand it either. I have a friend who is in an abusive relationship. I have begged and begged her to let my husband beat him to within an inch of his life. She just keeps going back.

Answer 6

I've always asked myself this question... how can women fall victim to this.. I think some women feel trapped, some are embarrassed, and some are just to afraid to stand up for themselves...

Answer 7

women always believe it would get better but is all the way around usually get worst and worst is like an infection spreads and gets worst if not treated****

Answer 8

People, men and women, are weak. You are strong, so you can't understand. Why does a dog stay with a hurtful owner, because they are weak.

Answer 9

Will you marry me?