what is better ? being married or living togethor and not married?

Question

what are the pros and cons?
some say marriage is just a piece of paper.
im ready to get married, but my boyfriend of 8 yrs , is not , i love him, a lot and he does so many good things for me, except fo that part. He says, "do you want to marry me and my bills?
hes excuse is , that he wants to pay of all hes bills, i told him, thats what a relationship is all about , helping each other out-
anyone in the same boat out their ?

Answer 1

Ask anyone who has been married more than 5 years. Getting married is NOT a piece of paper. As someone who has done both, I promise you it is not the same.

The differences are subtle, but many.

Your loser boyfriend has no interest in marrying you. I wouldn't move in with him if I were you. I'd give him a hug goodbye and look for a real man to make a life with.

Answer 2

Legally, a marriage is a contract and is a very significant piece of paper. As far as a relationship, it's just a piece of paper.

I've been. I lived with my wife for 3 years before we got married. We've been married for 4. Do you know what changed? Only her last name. The way we feel about each other is the same. What we do on a daily basis is the same. the way we interact with friends and family is the same.

When you get married, your life does not get any better and it shouldn't get worse unless you married too quickly or for the wrong reasons.

However don't discount advantages such as insurance and visitation in hospitals, etc. Those aren't emotional, but can be important.

But which is better? My wife and I would agree they are both the same emotionally, but better to be married legally.

Answer 3

The only REAL difference is that marriage carries with it a little more security. When you just live together there may not be any health insurance for the partner or any children created by the union because some insurance companies do not cover live ins and offspring of such a relationship. With a marriage insurance companies can not deny the partner and offspring.
In a live in situation, depending upon the state they reside in when one partner dies the other one is left with nothing if the deceased blood relatives step forward and start vieing for the estate, even if it is stipulated in the will that the partner will get it. In a marriage the estate automatically goes to the spouse of the deceased unless otherwise stipulated in the will and then the spouse can contest the will and they usually win.

Marriage is so much more than "just a piece of paper" That is why it takes a court battle to end it.

Now, as for helping someone pay their bills. You shouldn't be so willing to take on the debts of someone else that do not pertain to a marriage or to yourself. That will only put YOU in the position of perhaps paying off THEIR debt in the event the marriage doesn't work out...would you WANT to pay for a cruise your spouse took with a lover he/she had before you came along? I don't know about you but if I'm going to pay for anyone's cruise it's going to be MINE. I would be INSISTING he paid off all of his bills before I even THOUGHT of marrying him.

Call me selfish that way but at least I'm not gullible.

Answer 4

truthfully marriage isn't basically a criminal settlement. it is not even a settlement to stay mutually, no longer likely. Married couples each and every so often separate yet do no longer divorce; each and every so often they stay thousands of miles remote from one yet another. I knew one couple of the verge of an amicable divorce that stayed mutually while he progressed some existence-threatening wellbeing issues, in order that he might desire to stay to tell the story her coverage. additionally, divorce isn't the huge scandal it as quickly as replaced into. My mom and dad have 5 marriages between them, yet have been married (to a minimum of one yet another) for 26 years. you're making the superb decision you are able to on the time and circulate with it. Marriage isn't just about having a competent living house for toddlers. ideally, in a marriage, you would be greater basic mutually with your companion, because you're married to them. to no longer point out, there is not any regulation or rule that a marriage ceremony could be an excellent price. everyone in my prompt kin has long gone the courthouse wedding ceremony direction - my mom and dad did it on their lunch ruin, had a staggering lunch, and then went back to artwork. Marriage isn't evidence that a pair will stay mutually any greater than it extremely is evidence that they are going to fail. it is not a demonstration of lack of self assurance - in actuality, it extremely is a demonstration of self assurance, exhibiting which you think of it extremely is the courting which will stick. each and every so often everyone seems to be incorrect. each and every so often they get married too quickly, for the incorrect reasons, or with no longer sufficient advice. each and every so often their mindset approximately marriage isn't what your or i could evaluate acceptable. each and every so often issues replace afterwards that make their marriage unlivable. None of those are reasons to no longer get married - they are only reasons to take this as heavily as you're able to having a baby, by way of fact your existence isn't the comparable back.

Answer 5

He sounds as though he is obviously not ready for marriage, and my question to you is, why after living with him 8 years, is it a big deal to you now? I think after 7 or 8 years anyway, you become common law husband and wife... but if your heart is set on this, then explain it to him the way you explained it on here, and best of luck to you!

Answer 6

I can do either. In some states like common law states it doesn't really matter. You're considered married anyway.

Answer 7

live together...for some unexplainable reason...things change for the worse after u get married...first of all---it will start with not getting any sex...then the men get fat...stay single...and he stays trim and u get all the sex u can handle