What should I tell my husband?

Question

I am 24 yrs old, married and just found out I am pregant. I was unfaithful about a month ago. I am terribly ashamed of this!! I don't know what to tell my husband. He loves kids and I know he will be a wonderful father. I love him dearly and deeply regret what I have done. Should I tell him about the affair or just keep my mouth shut. I don't want to loose him and I sure will not ever do this again. Please help.

Answer 1

Well I somehow doubt that you'd be able to sleep and live a happy life with yourself if you did not share this information with your husband. A mistake, yes a rather large one, was made and now you must live with the consequences. If you do be honest with your partner then afterwards you both may want and/or need to take some form of relationship counseling. He may ask that you have a DNA test done in order to see who is the father of this yet unborn child. All I can honesty say is best of luck to you with this situation. In my opinion I believe that honesty is the best answer I can give to you as this is one of the most important things in any relationship. Your husband will naturally be upset with you but hopefully you two can get through this together. Once again best of luck.

Answer 2

This is way too big to not tell him. It could potentially end the marriage, but that's what happens when you are unfaithful. We have to assume that you had unprotected sex with the other man. Given that, you could have exposed your husband to a whole mess of problems, including STD's. It takes a lot to ask someone to forgive you for cheating, and you really raised the stakes because there is a child that is going to be involved in the mess. Step out of your own shoes and imagine how you would feel if he told you he cheated, and the girl was now pregnant, and the child could be his. I'd imagine you would be less than forgiving in the matter. Difficult situation you put yourself in....was it really worth it? Good Luck

Answer 3

OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooh dear........

Now you've done it.

Wow, I mean...whew. I suggest you get an amnio paternity test.

If the baby is your husbands, it is probably best that you shut your mouth and NEVER misbehave again. Let this horrible guilt you have be a lesson to you. Treat your husband like a king forever.

If the baby is NOT your husbands, you need to tell him who his wife is so he can decide whether or not to waste any more of his life on you.

Of course if there is a decent chance your husband will find out anyways, you're better off telling him ASAP, but know who's baby it is first. DO NOT LIE TO HIM about that.

btw I would BET the baby is not your husband's. Why? For some reason (biological) women are more likely to get pregnant from affairs then by their husbands. Women do 65% of their cheating when they are ovulating and are unlikely to use protection. About 16% of babies born in the US to married women are fathered by another man. Scary!

Does this sound like it might be you? I honestly hope not, for your child's and husband's sake. I hope this scares the daylights out of you but that it all works out in the end.

NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

Answer 4

Tell him now, You may run the risk of loosing him but can you really live with the guilt, prepare him for the fact that this child may not be his, if he loves you and kids he may forgive you and stay anyways. It isn't fair to you, him or your baby to live a lie. What if there is something wrong with your baby later and you need both parents, for medical reasons. It happens. If he found out years later after he and the child have already developed a relationship he may resent you and leave your child fatherless, then you baby would be hurt. It is best to get everything out in the open and deal with this now not later. You're not a bad person you made a mistake. Good luck, I wish you well.

Answer 5

You have to tell. Thisis the kind of thing that can eat a person up from inside. What if the child isn't his? I hope the affair was worth hurting the man you love, ruining your family, and turning you into a single mother.

Answer 6

Since there's a child involved, you need to do some backtracking to figure out when you actually conceived.....were you having sex with your husband and this other person around the same time? If so, you're going to have to fess up because it's not about you anymore.....God forbid something goes wrong with the baby and a medical history has to be provided.....better safe than sorry......

Answer 7

You have to tell him. Why, well certain genetic defects or disorders are passed from father to child. Also, what about eye and hair color. Suppose you don't tell him, and years later he finds out the kid is not his. Talk about big trouble. Oh, and next time you cheat on your husband, maybe you should use protection, he might want to be tested for STD's also. And women call men scum. Ha.

Answer 8

You should tell your husband now before to long into the pregnancy. Just tell him that you are sorry and that you will never do it again that it is one thing in your life that you regret dearly.

Answer 9

How is it that you love him so much now but not during the act of cheating without protection? If you have a STD are you gonna lie to him about that, too? Time to fess up and take your medicine. You'll get exactly what you deserve, trust me.

Answer 10

I think that you need to think about these things: Do you plan on staying faithful to your husband from now on? and, Do you intend to stay married to your husband? If the answer is yes, I would say, don't say a thing about the affair. It will only cause you husband a lot of pain. If you do not intend to stay faithful, tell your husband now, and let him out of the relationship before he becomes to attached to the child.