What do the sistas want in a man (afr-am females only)?

Question

Sorry to bring race into the picture, but fact is, i've been raised around caucasion males and females all my life. I've learned the subtle ins and outs of that culture. And I say "that culture" because, as i've found out the hard way, young women of color respond quite differently to me than the youing caucasion women. Now I do know there's deep complex psychological and sexual-tension theories out there about black man/white female relationships and I accept that.

But what I refuse to accept/believe is that all (or at least most) black females desire black men embodying the qualities celebrated in the modern hip-hop cuture. (i.e. thug, ganster, hustler, etc)

Is it so bad to wear clothes w/o the logos?
Is it so bad to be able to make my subjects and verbs agree?
Is it so bad to not drive an expensive whip w/ crome rims and tvs?

Seriously, I want to know your opinion. And i'm not knocking the culture, i'm just asking if conforming to it is the only way to get a sista now days?

Answer 1

I love a good nap in the afternoon.

WHAT????

Oh, I thought you meant Siestas.

My bad. I see, you're trying to convey to us how cool you are with the "Sistas" ahhhh, ya, that kind of talk will get you a woman!

Answer 2

I can't help you but wish to applaud your question. I'm a black male who was raised in private schools (pretty much 99% white ; .00056% black). I've felt the same for years. I had the fortune of meeting my wife when my parents agreed to allow me to go to public school my final two years. She was cool with me, when many others "picked at me" or shunned me (at least initially). I didn't talk the same, dress the same, or walk the same. She is bright and intelligent, goal oriented, and D@MN FINE. I've been with her for 16 years, been married for 13.

Keep doing what you're doing. There's nothing wrong with it. Eventually you will meet a sista who sees eye to eye with you and has your same ideals.

And before I get chasitsed, too: I don't mean to suggest that there are sistas out there who aren't "worthy".

I just feel what this brotha is saying. There ARE plenty of sistas, from what I've seen, who place priority on "culture", and not "going somewhere", or self-improvement, or generally focusing on more important things. That will p*ss some off. It's difficult to put into words where it won't offend someone, or make myself or this brother NOT sound as if we're just being "stuck up".

Answer 3

Unfortunately, you don't know sistas very well.
Black women notoriously go for thugs or guys immersed in what's known as thug life (see tupac).
Many of the black men who are professionals in what is seen as white business trends tend not to pull many sistas, they are known as poindexters or borderline sellouts. This is why you tend to see so many of these type of men married to white women, contrary to popular opinion, it is usually because they were rejected by average black women as, not having enough game or being boring or square or not keeping it real.
Ofcourse this does not apply to all black women but it does apply to a fair number of black women.
It's kinda like how the kid in class gets picked on for being smart and speaking English very well, (speaking white or trying to act white). I know many professional sistas, who have told me they want them a thug N***a because that is the depiction of a real man.

Answer 4

Well lets start of by saying I'm more than willing to give you my opinion and i am African-American. The only African-American women that like those thugs and gangsters are women who are ghetto and likle that kind of lifestyle. All of us sistas dont just want a thug, don't get me wrong I dont want my man to soft, but I want him to carry hisself in a classy manner.

Answer 5

why is it that us black women have to be depicted as ghetto thug loving women? I am a young black female who is educated and a loving relationship with a very educated black male....he is not a drug dealer, a rapper with his pants down low, or a gun carrying man...he his a successful white collar man who i love dearly and has provided for me just like i have for him...we are a partnership.

we are beautiful women that enjoy the little things in life, and also want more for ourselves, as well as, our families. just like any other race we all have our bad apples, but for some reason black women are grouped in one negative statement. black women just want a man who will appreciate them for who they are, and cherish their unique beauty, weaknesses, and straights.

to sum it all up....black women have goals they want to reach in life just like any other race of women....

Answer 6

Don't waste your time, it's true. Thug out and care for nothing or forget about the sistas, most of us have. And may I suggest you try asian, I did and do.