i've been in a fantastic relationship with a wonderful man whom i love very much for 18 months, everyday is special and we never fight but although seperated for 2 years he's still married. i want to ask about it but don't want to rock the boat, i am right to want him to get a divorce? would i be wrong to suggest it.
2007-01-22 02:53:26 · 13 answers · asked by Cat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are right in wanting this ... IF he does not get it or drags his feet then get out and dont wait or hold on anymore. He needs to do this to bring closure to his past and hope for your and his future together. Be honest and open with him in this. Do not hide your feelings. Dont nag and be harsh though be gentle and kind and just suggest. Help him come up with the money and means for the divorce too and this may encourage and help him do so.
2007-01-22 03:00:59 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. 18 months is enough time to know if you all are going to take it to the next level or not. Surely he cannot think it is normal to be seperated from his wife for 2 years and dating someone else for a year and a half of that without addressing the situation at all. It sounds like you talk about other things (it would not be "wonderful" othrewise). You owe it to yourself after 18 months to find out if this is going anywhere. Also, be patient. If he hasnt already initiated divorce proceedings, that takes time.
2007-01-22 03:01:08 · answer #2 · answered by darthhk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it so important that he becomes divorced? You could ask him if hes ever thought about divorce and decide from his reaction if you want to take the conversation any further. If he has been seperated for two years it may just be a case that time has passed him by and he has just never taken the time to go to lawyers and put the wheels in motion, maybe it would dredge up bad feelings between him and his ex! Why not just enjoy each other if it is going to cause bad feeling, after all if he ever decides to pop the question its something he will have to think about, you never know, maybe hes already decided to do it all by himself!
2007-01-22 03:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by diane e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not wrong in the least to ASK! For goodness sakes.......your giving him your love, your time and YOU!
You should expect the same from him!!
My now bf was seperated over 5 years with his wife. He got himself a gf ( not me) and he was lieing to her about being divorced when he wasn't. Anyway, when she found this out, she wouldn't let down tell he showed her he loved her and started divorce proceedings. Well, he finally got the divorce. But she unfortunatly found a more honest bf sence. Now I have him. Scared to death about things I'm not hearing about that I should be! lol
You ask and ask all you want. Don't be afraid of rocking the boat. IF he' loves you as much as he seems too, he'll be understanding and fill you in.
2007-01-22 03:01:10 · answer #4 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is something that you are entitled to know about at least.
If he is planning at some point to get a divorce or not.
If its funds that he is holding off getting it then so be it. You might come out and ask directly though as he may not wish to be divorced and open to possibly getting married again.
It might be something that he doesn't want to pay for either.
If she requests the divorce the papers and costs fall upon her instead of him and vise versa.
But you can be direct and ask him about it.?
He might come out and ask you what the rush is .
You might want to know if and when this might occur.
All kinds of answers when you get down to the asking
Go for it ask it can't hurt
2007-01-22 03:00:51 · answer #5 · answered by Spirit_Rain_3-SunShineAries 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you are giving him the very best you have to offer...YOU! You need to ask in order to find out the answer. I would think if he were a gentleman, he would be updating you on how the divorce is coming along. I'm a bit leary of this relationship. But good luck to you!!
2007-01-22 03:11:26 · answer #6 · answered by daj11551 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he should of been talking about this awhile back.. if he's divorced there's a reason and you have every right to know why that is..but listen to everything he tells you and if you have a gut feeling that somethings off, you're right, because he's not going to be totally honest. why would he, he don't want you to dislike him. even if he gets a divorce i wouldn't jump right into getting married. as sad as it might sounds, you may be still be his rebound. Take your time and be careful!!!
2007-01-22 03:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by dthsmx5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he get a divorce? He has you both. I did that for 8 years. Waiting. It's time to ask why he hasn't divorced, to break the connection with his wife. But be prepared for the answer.
You need to determine how long you are willing to wait for him. What is your perceived level of deservability? Don't you deserve to be with someone devoted to you. and willing to make a full commitment to you?
2007-01-22 03:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by TO Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is definately seperated and you have no intention of marrying him then, leave it alone. If you do intend to marry him then it is a subject you must bring up. You have to be sure he is separated and not away for work for a long period of time and having you as a stand in.
2007-01-22 03:00:24 · answer #9 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been involved with him for that long, then it's obvious he wants to be with you. So he should want to and be willing to divorce the other woman. You should definitely bring it up and discuss it with him. If at that point he comes up with reasons as to why he cant divorce her, then I'd be very suspicious of that.
2007-01-22 03:11:53 · answer #10 · answered by Pammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋