My best friend and I (both female) have been friends for 10 years. We are both bi-curious and have talked about exploring this with each other - not as a couple, but just sex. I feel our relationship is strong enough that things will not be "weird" afterwards. Looking for other points of view.
2007-01-22 02:35:50 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
things will never be the same.. and what if one of you decides you want sex again, and again, but the other doesn't? what if one of you decides you are bi and the other isn't? what if one decides they want to take things further and have relationship/love, and the other doesn't?? ....just some things to consider...
i'm not saying this is gonna happen, but it's just a possibility.. and yes, it will be 'weird' no matter what. sex with anyone is something that you will always remember.... it will probably be the first thing you think of whenever you see them again for the rest of your life..
instead of going all the way. start with some intimate kissing and see if you are both on the same page with everything above.. take baby steps, work you way up to sex.. if kissing goes well, get naked and watch each other masturbate.. if that gets too weird, then stop there.. if you are ok with that, then start touching each other... if you decide you are bi, then come join me at bisexual.com on the community. a great place to share experiences and chat with other bisexuals..
hope it all works out and it doesn't hurt the friendship.. all the best!
Jeff
2007-01-22 14:26:34 · answer #1 · answered by Jeff 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I was in love with my best friend although our relationship was one of just best friends (no romance or sex, just buds). We were both gay, but he had a better understanding of what it meant than I did. We agreed to have sex finally and it was awkward and unfulfilling, and yes, we felt "weird" afterwards. That was right after high school. Since then I've come to the conclusion that we should have dated first. Dating is different than just hanging out. We should have gone on a romantic date that we acknowledged was a romantic date. That would have made the transition from friends to lovers smoother. I believe everything would have turned out different if we had dated first. Sex is not something to take for granted or to be casual about. It's not like, "Hey, let's go bowling!" It's a pretty powerful force and can have powerful consequences if it isn't respected. A little formality goes a long way.
2007-01-22 11:25:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think extremely carefully before doing this. My best friend an I (both female as well) have known each other for four years. I always knew she was bisexual but it wasn't an issue. She's married, I'm divorced. From early on in our friendship we felt mutual attraction and our friendship was so close that we talked about it openly. We went through many things over the years the drew us closer, it was like we had a special bond. We kissed on a few occasions but never went further through fear of how it would affect our friendship and we always pretended that nothing had happened. Her marriage became a mess and I was always her shoulder to cry on. We became closer and closer but always avoided kissing or going further even though we both felt that this attraction was so strong. The whole thing was weirder for me because I had never been attracted to a woman or even kissed one just for fun. One day, after three years of friendship we decided that we would stop this repression that did not go away. We threw caution to the wind and started an affair. It was really wonderful, it was genuine love. We believed that we would be doing it just to enjoy the moment and that our friendship was strong enough not to be ruined once our little moment came to its end. Two months down the line, things got out of our control (as they often do when things like this happen) and we fell in love. We both decided that this was not what we wanted for our lives no matter how much we loved each other. I want a husband and kids and she wants the same. We decided it was best to stop and carry on with our friendship the best way we could. It hurts so much. Every time I see her I wish I could hold her and kiss her like I used to and I can't. It's all still there...and it hurts too much. I don't even know how I'm going to get over it.
2007-01-24 17:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by Lorena C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My best friend and i have been friends 14 years and we slept together when we were 18. It felt really awkward afterwards for a few weeks, because although your girlfriend sees you in the nude occasionaly and borrows your make up she really sees you and feels the most intimate parts of you when you cross that line.
9 years on my friend and i just laugh about it how i was her first woman and she mine and how we fumbled around not really knowing what we were doing. So it wont necessarily ruin your relationship but it changes it for sure.
Think very carefully before you take this step, if your friendship isn't strong enough you could be risking it all together by taking this step.
2007-01-23 08:29:38 · answer #4 · answered by wenchyh 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ive been there done that not seen my best friend for over 10 years,
You cant just sleep together for sex there will be feelings there and they will get hurt.
Just try it once and see what happens, you can put once down to a mad experience and laugh about it if it goes wrong.
Maybe you both have hidden feelings for each other anyway and are using this as an excuse to be with each other with out actually admitting it??
Give it a go you will enjoy it lol.xx
2007-01-22 10:42:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
based on my own experience, it's very difficult to keep things from getting "weird" afterwards, even if you do have a strong relationship as friends. but my situation's circumstances were very different from yours, it wasn't planned or discussed, it just happened. plus we had both just gotten out of bad relationships, so we were both at a weak point in our lives. but as for your situation, as long as you both keep an open communication going between you, it is possible that you can explore your sexuality together without the awkward consequences. in fact, it is probably better that you do this with someone you know very well and trust, opposed to someone you barely know. best of luck!
2007-01-22 10:49:44 · answer #6 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys are both honest with each other 100% and will tell each other how you are feeling. Then it could be a fine and fun night. But if one of you has feelings for the other and you don't share equally. Then the 10 years of friendship will be gone. So be very care-full.
B
2007-01-22 10:48:57 · answer #7 · answered by Bacchus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even think about it!
Despite what you may think, if you take this step, things can never be the same between you!
I feel that if you both are "BI", that's fine, but don't try this out, on each other, better with someone else, if you must experiment, as it could have dire consequences for your friendship!!
2007-01-22 10:55:35 · answer #8 · answered by Peter R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think just as u do!
I'm a gay boy and one of my best girlfriends is gay too, even though we're both gay I think we feel a kind of attraction to each other and we wanted to have sex and we did it. Everything's just the same as always. I think u should try too ;)
2007-01-22 13:00:58 · answer #9 · answered by rhBoy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex my good friend is just sex nothing more nothing less. i have had sex with the same guys now for years and everything is just fine. the problem is when love and jealousy raises its ugly head. enjoy your friendship and the sex your going to be nervous anyway, go and enjoy.
2007-01-22 10:59:34 · answer #10 · answered by alistairjarvis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋