Ok everyone. Me and my wife have been togeather for almost 2 years. Rufly around thanksgiving we split up and she went to her moms and i stayed in the house. We have a 16 month old little girl. We have been fighting a lot latly and we both have said a lot of mean things. Just recently we have talked about getting a divorce and once talks started i have been dating aother woman. Im not too sure what to do any more. I mean i still care for my wife it just seems that we are not the same people we once were... and that we are happier apart then togeather.. Its like we both know that something could happen just not anytime soon and it might be that we are too young for marrage im only 22 and she is only 20 I have no idea if any one could help out or is willing to chat and talk to me about this id really appreciate it thank you
2007-01-22 02:26:57 · 9 answers · asked by Chris m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off, it is not okay for you to be dating except your wife. You are still married, therefore just because you are talking about divorce doesn't mean you have carte blanche to start dating as if you are single. Secondly, think carefully about this divorce, you are so young and this divorce would affect you and your wife and you child for the rest of your lives. How about some marriage counseling? You said you are not the same people you once were, of course you are not, people change and grow, that is what life is all about. You have to change, falling in love takes work, time and energy, falling in love and staying in love takes ALOT of time and committment. But it sure is worth it.
L.
2007-01-22 04:22:39 · answer #1 · answered by tink3610 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 10 year conflict with your in-laws is not a stupid thing. IT's real and ongoing for her. Unfortunately, you will always be tied to your family, just as she is tied to yours. It's natural for her mom to take her side in a dispute - all parents should be on their childrens' side.. If you are fist fighting over this issue then divorce may be the best option. But before you go that route, why don't you and your wife visit a marriage counsellor who can help you both shed some light on why you feel the way you do and why you act out your feelings the way you do. Sometimes, just having a neutral party observe your communication and provide some observations is enough to start people down the right track. Good luck!
2016-05-24 17:39:10 · answer #2 · answered by Kathleen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Chris I am no expert but you did get married at such a young age and you became a parent too. See i was 22 when I had my first child and we ended up getting married for the sake of her, not cause we loved each other. My ex and I are just like you and your ex we got along better apart rather than together, even while we were married it was like that.The whole dating someone while you are not officially divorced is not good on your behalf cause she could come back and say that you are a cheater. Try to hold out on dating so soon, you want everything to go as smoothly as possible, especially for your little girl. If you need some more advice please be free to IM me
theresa_whitley_28. Good luck!
2007-01-22 02:48:51 · answer #3 · answered by theresa_whitley_28 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things got to rough for you, so you decided to find another playmate? You have a 16 month little girl who relies on both of you. Divorce is the easy way out, but do you really want it?
At least, try counseling before you do something you may regret.
Also, get together with both sets of parents, and have an open mind. Dont be afraid to face the truth.
There is no rule book, ask your parents.
If they bailed out on you, that does not mean you have to repeat their mistakes.
There is not anything you can not do, if you put your whole heart, soul and mind into it.
Dont Give In until you have exhausted every last possibility.
You can win this battle if you really want it bad enough.
2007-01-22 03:04:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two are young.
You haven't been seperated all that long and I guess I'm curious why you had to jump right out there in the "singles" world before your even divorced. When people do this, I don't think they really love the one they married. You can't replace a "loved one" that soon.
Is there anyway possible you can stop dateing others for a period of time and focus your thoughts on who your married to?
If it's a sex thing, then masterbate during this seperation period.
IF your both sure it won't work between the 2 of you, then both of you sit down, and talk about a divorce then. No sense in prolonging a situation that see's no light at the tunnel.
2007-01-22 02:35:54 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You owe it to your daughter to do EVERYTHING possible to keep your marriage together. Dating other women while you are apart doesn't fall into this category. Get some counseling, talk to your pastor, whatever it takes. Do you want your daughter to be raised by another man, or worse yet, a series of other men? Grow up, and honor the vows you took. Being "too young" is no longer an option for you.
2007-01-22 02:38:21 · answer #6 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Tiss. You should "earn" your way out of this relationship by doing everything you can to save it first - if for nothing but your daughter's sake.
People always grow and change but you need to learn to adapt and learn how to appreciate the growth in each other's lives. This does NOT include having affairs and other relationships while you are trying to sort through this one.
You were man enough to have a child and to marry - now are you going to follow through with it or become yet another statistic??
2007-01-22 02:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by Older & Wiser 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to date while you are trying to sort things out with your wife. You are only adding more confusion to the mix.
2007-01-22 02:32:56 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and see someone else and don't feel bad about it.
2007-01-22 02:35:44 · answer #9 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋