My husband has an ex wife, who told him that the 2 children that he has been paying child support on now for 5 years, don't even belong to him... she has been telling people this since the day she left him, but just recently told him (though other people has been telling him this all along). He doesnt get to see the kids, doesn't talk to them for months and months at a time, a dead beat dad, more or less, (yes hes my husband but the truth is the truth).. he doesnt' want to have a DNA test done on them, and refuses to take any actions against her, to get out of the child support, what would you do if you were the new wife in this sitatuion?
2007-01-22 02:14:24 · 20 answers · asked by Cycy C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I meant he was a dead beat dad because he doesnt' want to have any contact with them, he doesnt ask to see them, or talk to them, or anything... its his decision to do this, and when I asked why he didn't want to see or talk to them he said it was becasue he knew they weren't his and he needed to put some distance between him and them, or everyones sake... yet he refuses to have the DNA test done.
2007-01-22 02:36:41 · update #1
divorce...why would a man pay for kids he thought were his but he has never tried to be a part of their lives....he's a creep....good luck to you
2007-01-22 02:19:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Well, some issues to sort through. First, there's the knowledge of knowing whether these kids in fact are his. Secondly, he needs to know for legal reasons, custody, birth cert, child support etc...if he isn't the father; legally he's not responsible for them and to find out by DNA. If he's not willing, then he deserves what he gets at this point. It's hard to say what to do since you can't "make" anyone do anything; BUT you can tt an attorney and see what they say, possibly ordering both? to take the test for legal reasons listed above. She's sucking money out of someone who probably isn't the father, and especially if she won't let him have any contact with him, that's a huge sign right there. If none of these things take place, have a serious talk with him and tell him how you feel and where you stand. If he doesn't "come around" etc...it may be time to make your own decisions. Good luck!
2007-01-22 02:22:16 · answer #2 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Insist he get DNA done it will cost a little but less then the child support will the for the rest of his life. She may just be saying this to try to hurt him, they could be his kids either way he should have contact and visitation for the simple fact that he is paying child support. If he refuses DNA testing then tell him he needs to step up to the plate and be a fater to these children. He can no longer ignore the issue and it is an issue that now concerns you and your finances as well. I would also call leagle aid, get the free advise you deserve and that is available to you! Good luck!
2007-01-22 02:32:08 · answer #3 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is paying the child support, he is not a dead beat dad. Since he is refusing to take a DNA test, he obviously knows that the children aren't his, but wants to continue to have something to do with his ex. Because once it is proven that the children aren't his that will cut off all ties between them. He doesn't seem to be ready for that. You should talk with him about it, maybe he needs some closer.
2007-01-22 02:24:04 · answer #4 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if they are not his children then I don,t blame him for putting distance between them, however I do not understand why he wants to continue paying child support on children that are not his..He is foolish to do this..and he has someone other than himself to thank about now since he has you as his wife....He can have a DNA test done by going back to court and stating that the children are not his and they will get an order to do a DNA..if they find that the children are not his and he has known it and she knows it,then his child support will stop and she will have to pay him back....I don,t understand why he will not do anything..Is it because he still cares about this woman? Or does he know that the kids are his and is using this as an excuse not to see them....These are the things you need to find out from your husband..
2007-01-22 02:46:58 · answer #5 · answered by slickcut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt bad for your situation. I adviced you that you let your husband realized what he is at the moment and in the future to come. He has to to solved this things out, like having the DNA and be secured that the 2 children are his. The child support is a great responsibility too. What about the future? When you and him will also have kids of your own. The future is unforseen and anything can happen. He must be aware of this. I hope he come to his senses and do the necessary.
2007-01-22 02:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to communicate with him the best you can. Why does he not want a DNA test? Why does he want to continue to support these children? Maybe he loves them like they were his own and he wants to make sure they are cared for.
On the other hand if he's just being lazy, then this is a good wake up call for you. Do the two of you have any children? Maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship and get out before you're the one who's receiving child support for one of yours and his kids.
2007-01-22 02:21:45 · answer #7 · answered by Laura R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I wouldn't be the wife in these situation.I Wouldn't stay with a man whom treated children this way.I would be to afraid of having kids with him and having them treated the same way.If he was a good man he would want to take care of those kids regardless.It really messes up children when people who were in their lives walks out on them.How old were they?Did they already consider him their dad?.Those kids probably feel like they have been deserted.I wish these so called fathers would learn that divorce isn't a get out of parenthood free deal.Just because they aren't with the other parents anymore they feel like they don't have to be bothered with any part of there previous life.Like the kids only belong to them when they are sleeping with the mothers of the children.
2007-01-22 03:03:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his ex wife told him they don't belong to him after 5 years, then why not go ahead and have the DNA test done? Its not the kids fault this is going on, this is between him and her.. and unfortunately now you, since you are the new wife... you are in a tough spot, good luck to you!
2007-01-22 02:30:00 · answer #9 · answered by emtb9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that he loves these children. But is that due to to fact that he still loves there mum?
I hope not for your sake.
I think your husband is being foolish, he really needs to get a DNA test done. if not for his own peace of mind for the peace of mind for his children in years to come.
They maybe an underlining problem, you really need to speak to him regarding his reason behind this unusual decision.
Lets face it his wife could be loving this, she is makes a mockery of him. She tells him what could be the truth and he is still paying for her children.
Does she have anyone else? If not then maybe he could be living in hope that they may get back together.
I think your husband may need a reality check. What if you get pregnant? What would happen then?
There is a lot of areas you need to cover.
I do hope everything turns out OK.
Good Luck for the future.
2007-01-22 02:28:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. It really has nothing to do with you. If he doesn't want to know for sure if the kids are his or not, why do you care? Is it the money? If that's not it, then let it go. Your husband obviously doesn't care enough to find out the truth. And did it ever occur to you that if he knows they aren't his and he still pays child support, maybe he loved those kids and is helping them in the only way he can... financially.
2007-01-22 02:21:10 · answer #11 · answered by The ReDesign Diva 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋