Its goin to be 5 years of being together and 3 years of being married. we have a 2 year old. Anyhow, I want out of this realationship, I have givin it all to make this realationship work. I have sacrifise many things for my husband but he pays me back by making me suffer, abusing me not only physicaly but in any other way he thinks he can break me. We live together and we have spoken many times on how this realationship is obiosly not working for both of us, he wont move out thought, he is job less right now and doesnt have any money, I tould him that if he finds an apartment I'll even pay the security deposit and 2 months rent, He said no because he'll be in debt with me. We then got into an argument he tould me his not goin anywhere and I would have to call the police to kick him out and if I locked him up when he comes out he'll make sure I die and everyone in my family. I know most people would say "move, leave the state, dissapear but My family owns a Business for the pass 22 yrs
2007-01-22 02:06:00 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
leave and go to a womens shelter and press charges against him most states have domestic violence laws.
2007-01-22 02:12:53 · answer #1 · answered by i see you all 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1 - Call leagle aid for advice.
2 - File for a divorce.
3 - Change all the locks on the house the same day...
4 - Put a personal protection order on him (after this is done he will not be allowed to come to the house for anything! not even allowed on the property and if he does call the police he'll go to jail) so pack his stuff clothing and highgene stuff for now and have it available, already waiting for him at one of his family memebers houses or one of his friends house.
If you do not feel safe have some one stay with you or you as well leave the home till' things cool down. keep some type of weapon near you and through out the house.
5 - Always carry your charged cell phone with you.
Look you've tried, you've even went as far as telling him you'll pay for the deposit and first two months of rent on something else for him, you've done all you can do, you've been nice and tried to offer him solutions but nothing worked! Now you want out of a very bad relationship, so do it! Don't look back, don't give in enough is enough! Have you seen the movie "Enough" with Holly Berry in it - rent it! You will learn what to do and what not to do hopefully it doesn't get that bad with you but just get the movie and make a plan and stick to it once you take these steps he'll back off he has no other options! NO - you leaving is not the answer then he'll end up with the child, it is he that must go and you that needs to be strong and wise!
2007-01-22 02:59:01 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First take a deep breath . Then think of approximately your loved ones first. the guy is twenty 5 years old. All he thinks approximately is intercourse, and whilst he can meet you for it. the guy isn't something yet a loser. in case you hold fooling with that guy, then you definately'll lose each and everything you have the main. or no longer it extremely is diverse if there grow to be subject on your marriage, with out the guy ever be further into it. yet you're able to desire to pay attention on your head this time. especially situations the midsection can get us in subject, and in between a rock and a demanding place. the main value element is your babies. do no longer positioned no guy, any guy over your babies. merely sit down, and think of how they are going to react to it. Thats in case you go forward via with it. Love hurts, yet this time it has a explanation for it.
2016-11-26 01:56:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question
i was, or i am. i dont kno becuz my bf stopped hitting me for a month now. its been a month exactly today, and i use to ask myself how will i leave.
he's tthreathen to kill my family, by settin their house on fire if i leave, that if i leave him he will kill any man i get with. i know the tings he must say to u. that ur worthless, no man will ever want u. when he hits you he probably says your deserve it, that you shouldnt have done this or that. its fuc*ed cuz u have a child involved.
u both kno u guys dont want each other no more. the first step i took whcih really really really helped was starting to go to meetings once a week where there were other women that were in or are in abusive relationships. i swear to you those helped me so much, so a portion of my relationship with this man i use to think i was the problem and that it was someting i was doing to make him hit me. I reached out to distress centers (a fone thing where u call and u just talk to someone) then i started these meetings and i was ready to leave. then he changed
sweetie dont wait till he's ready to leave becuz i SWEAR TO YOU ON MY LIFE HE IS NEVER GOING TO LEAVE. u are his bread, his water, his clothes on his back to the roof over his head. think abotu it why would u leave a place where u live for free to go to a place where u got to work for ur own shyt.. u wouldnt do it. its like me saying "hey u want a million dollars" and u refusing it.
u need to get ur kid and go. now u ask when r u going to be able to do it? cuz he is at home all the time. i kno it may be hard to leave ur belongings and before i use to say i couldnt leave becuz i didnt want to leave my house, my bed, my furniture, my comptuer , and shyt liek that behind but what is more important things u can replace or ur happiness? thats where u have to make ur decision. call the cops on him and then he's gone for a mintue get ur shyt and go. i've done that a few times, called the cops and then they lock him up for a night or two depending on how bad it is.
ur family. yea saying he will do it and doing it are two different things.. he knows they are ur weak spot so he will say that, becuz its a hold on u .. even if its not a threat then u kno who is he if anything happens to them..
u need to think about what is important to u . u need a safty plan. its not fair to ur child either,if u have a son he will grow up thinkin its ok to hit women. if its a girl then take it as me for a living example i put up wtih the abuse forr over a year becuz i use to see my mom get hit by my dad. it phycologicaly witout u realizing it does soemthing to the hits.
i really hope u just get out of there, plan it out, and then when u leave get support. look up for abused women shelters or helplines through 211 or 411, directorty assistance and in the phone book
2007-01-22 02:22:37 · answer #4 · answered by phatguyanesegurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a restraining order, than u can proceed with divorce, if he has no money just rent him the place, give him the keys and tell him it's his. got to show him u mean business, u certainly seem to have all the criteria that would warrant getting a protective order on him. and if he breaks it call police and maybe after a few times getting arrested he may think twice about breaking it. he has u believing u have no options, he believes his threats scare u and they do, but sometimes we just need to call up our courage, and even if afraid follow through with it, or u are never going to be able to get rid of this jerk.
2007-01-22 02:14:38 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call the police if he touches you! Dont let anyone hurt you. It is only going to get worse and he will eventually make it out to be your fault. You need to involve your family to help you and get you out of that situation. I dont know why you would even stay. If he touches you, you can file charges and get a PPO and then he cant come back in your house anymore.
2007-01-22 02:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by Tink 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you live in an apartment or a house? if it's a house then you are in a tricky situation. if you live in an a apartment then this is what you do...depending on how close to the end of your lease you are...when you get towards the end of your lease (like two or three months before) you need to start looking for your own place. do not renew. but you do need to tell him that he needs to get a job or he will be out on the streets. tell the apartment complex that you two are not renewing (or that you are not renewing) and let them handle him. you could also look up domestic abuse help in your area cause they will have more information than yahoo answers can provide. if you don't work...get a job. you need to have your own source of income. stop trying to talk to him about this 'situation.' cause obviously it is not working. he has made his choice in how he wants to live his life. now you need to make yours. any mail that arrives at your current place of residence...you need to forward that mail to another location. a friend or a family that you trust. change your address to reflect that friends or family's residence also. your pay check needs to reflect your friends/family's place also not your current residence.
http://www.ndvh.org/
since i dont' know what state you reside in...you can start with the above link. you need to find a way to get out.
also...don't offer to pay for anything. if he abuses you...call the police. you need to file a police report. he is using fear to control you because his own life sucks. if you don't have a job...get one. if you have a job...maintain your current employment. don't let his threats shake you. you need to get out soon before you end up in a place that you dont' want to be. either in the hospital or dead. make a choice...but make it quickly. check out the above website and move quickly. cause your life depends on it.
2007-01-22 02:46:32 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stop paying the bills on your house and move in with your folks until he has gone. I would ring the utilities people and get all the bills in his name and wait until his money dries up. In the meantime I would file for divorce and then let the lawyers sort out who had to pay what once the settlement happens. Sometimes you have to get active not reactive.
2007-01-22 02:13:09 · answer #8 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Go get a protective order.
He will have to vacate the premises. I had to do this, the cops will deliver it to him and stay there while he gets his stuff.
Im sorry, I wish you the best of luck
2007-01-22 02:12:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
the ROCK says.....bi mouths like that NEVER live up to their words!!!! Might b a gooood thing for him in jail.....sure will get his own in there!!! the ROCK says....for you....get him out ASAP cause your life must go on!!!
2007-01-22 02:13:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋