he's been in a three yr relationship which has been on and off , he had his issues which made the relationship break in the past but he decided that he wants to be serious ... however now she wants to break up with him so he's heartbroken .. i tried to give him advice but it's hard since he screwed up the past yrs.. but she's very confused because he's doing everything for her but one day she wants him and the next she doesn't care ... what should i say to him ?
2007-01-22 01:25:59 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
What they really should do is get away from every one and everything for a short time. A mini vacation would be best. Just enjoy themselves and each other. After that, they should sit down and talk about what they really want from their future, individually and together.
Why I say that they should get away first is to strengthen their relationship towards each other, and maybe allow them to think more clearly. If they just sit down right away and talk, then all they may talk about "Me! Me! Me!" instead us "We".
I hope that this may be of some help. I see to many people jumping out of relationships without fully analyzing what the result may be. When they finally say "Oops!" it's already too late.
2007-01-22 01:39:33 · answer #1 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they both need a break away from eachother so they can figure out what it is they really want. To give the relationship the chance it deserves after 3 years, they should sincerely try to take a break and not get involved with others while doing so. This way, they are thinking things through and respecting the other. After some time apart, they will know the path that should be taken.
2007-01-22 09:30:53 · answer #2 · answered by rowan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he screwed up in the past years as you said it is possible that he hurt the trust the girl had in him. Maybe badly. From my experience and from what I saw with other people this is one kind of mistake which is very hard not to say almost impossible to repair.
Trust is fundamental in any relationship. it is part of the foundation you build upon. It is normal that when one looses trust, one wants to pull back from the relationship.
If your friend wants to get back with his girlfriend, you can best support him by helping him express his feelings about this relationship to the girl herself. This usually speeds up the process; given honesty and a minimum of openness.
At this point, if he wants to regain her trust, he needs to wait for the girl to calm down so she can decide what she wants. If she can openly acknowledge to give him another chance and under which circumstances or if she can not.
Don't forget kindness goes a long way.
Good luck to both of you!
2007-01-22 09:51:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know...The person who needs this advice is her not him because the person who can not take the decision is her not him. In my opinion, the situation is clear. If someone really loves another person he or she always care about him. He or she will not be confused about his or her love to the other person. If I were you, I would tell him to ask her to tell him exactly how exactly she feels towards him. Then he should take his decision according to that. He should not continue like that ( a day she care and a day she does not.). He should know where and on which land he is exactly standing ?..I hope this helps and good luck.
2007-01-22 09:41:40 · answer #4 · answered by living on faith 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, obviously she is trying to be true to herself and to him...but, he just wants to continue to hang on. There is something in regard to the relationship that she believes isn't working...it may be a matter of her not wanting or seeing a future with this individual. He has to let her go or this relationship may, in fact, hurt him more in the end...when she finally tells him emphatically, no.
Advice? Sometimes the best thing is to not give advice. Just listen. You can't tell a person who is in love, that the person they love doesn't want anything to do with them, that they are a bad partner...or anything. They just don't hear or want to hear this. If they ask, you can tell him..you don't want my opinion, just be true to yourself...and let her be true to herself. Just be there.
2007-01-22 09:34:04 · answer #5 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best think you can do is just stand back and be his friend however the chips may fall. If you feel you must tell him something, then tell him to sit and have a serious talk with her and figure out what's going to happen.
2007-01-22 09:30:59 · answer #6 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋