What Do You Think About Women?

Question

What do you think of 115 thinkgs about women:

1. Maternity Leave- 6 months paid vacation and all you do is have a baby.
2. We got off the Titanic first
3. We are better dancers
4. Taxis stop for us first
5. We can pretend to be pregnant and get lots of attention on buses
6. We don't go bald after our 26th birthdays
7. We can cry and get out of stressful situations. Like a speeding ticket. Heck, crying gets you out of anything.
8. We can flirt our way out of a speeding ticket. Heck, you can flirt your way out of anything.
9. We live longer than men
10. We smell better
11. Phone conversations are better than a soap opera
12. Ladies Night.
13. We don't have to open our own jars.
14. We don't have to kill our own food.
15. We get put up on a pedistal
16. We rarely have to carry our own suitcases.
17. We know stuff about everyone.
18. Short skirts will always cure unemployment
19. You're 5 times less likely to kill yourself
20. You never get a draft card.
21. It's easier to get a credit card.
22. You rule the bathroom
23. It's ok for you to marry for money.
24. Long nails make great weapons.
25. Divorces are profitable in your favor.
26. If the police is looking for you, it's easier to disguise yourself.
27. Sex is just another chocolate.
28. No matter how long it takes you to get ready, guys will ALWAYS wait for you.
29. Free flowers.
30. Free dinners.
31. Free lunches.
32. Free brunches
33. Revenge is our specialty
34. You'll get asked to have sex for about 90% of your life.
35. Men are optional.
36. You can whip men for money.
37. You'll probably never have to change a lightbulb.
38. Nobody will ever slap you for telling a dirty joke.
39. You can sue for sexual harassments.
40. You know that penis size really does matter.
41. PMS means you're right. About anything. Got a f***ing
problem with that?
42. Short girls are "petite". Short guys are "midgets".
43. Grooms all look the same. Everyone only wants to see the Bride
44. Girls can go together to a public restroom without looking like a fag
45. It's ok if girls hang out with gay guys. If straight men hang out with lesbos, it's considered an affair.
46. Friends won't call you "pussywhipped" behind your back
47. With 1 bottle of frozen sperm, we could populate the earth for
400 years with no need for men, "in theory".
48. You can "fake" anything
49. No matter how ugly you are, you'll always be able to get laid.
50. Your skin is softer.
51. You secretly admire Loreena Bobbitt
52. Valentine's Day was invented just for you
53. Someday you'll be a rich widow.
54. Being bisexual is considered a "bonus"
55. No matter how much time a guy spends on himself, you'll still
look better.
56. You won't get someone pregnant
57. You get hit on first most of the time
58. You don't have to buy wedding rings
59. You never have to change your oil.
60. You don't have to pump your own gas
61. You never have to change a flat tire in the rain.
62. If you feel like trapping your husband, there's always the "do I look fat?" test
63. Your adult children will come home often because of your fabulous home cooked meals.
64. You can't get thrown in jail cause of child support.
65. It empowers you when someone notices your new hair cut.
66. You can do your own laundry without your laundry turning pink.
67. Shopping somehow makes your life feel complete.
68. You can resolve arguments without giving someone a black eye.
69. The real beauty of e-mail is obvious to us - a further dimension to our social lives
70. You can scam maternity leave by looking fat.
71. You don't have to mow the lawn
72. Longer orgasms
73. You don't have to worry about getting punched when you cut someone off in traffic
74. If you gave your boyfriend/husband a black eye, they will think it's his fault not yours.
75. We don't grow nose hairs.
76. We have total control over our eyebrows.
77. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
78. People envy you if you're a "daddy's girl". It's sad to be a "mama's boy"
79. We control the population.
80. Free drinks
81. You have a secret power to somehow hold your fart in public.
82. We get to choose the movie
83. We get all expensive paid trips-all we have to do is sleep with the guy.
84. We never have to pay when we go on dates.
85. We get to sleep on the bed when we have an argument with our man. Men get to sleep on the couch.
86. PMS is a legal defense for murder.
87. We're better manipulators.
88. We can masturbate more in a day than men.
89. We never run out of excuses.
90. We get EXPENSIVE jewelry as gifts that we NEVER have to give back.
91. We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men **** up so often
92. We get massages
93. We're better parents.
94. We are cleaner
95. We have a higher tolerance of pain
96. We often get to cut in line
97. We are more flexible
98. No penis envy
99. Better tips
100. Men hold the door open for us.
101. We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
102. We lie better
103. We can marry rich and then not have to work
104. Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume!
105. Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting
106. We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return
107. We dont have excessive amounts of body hair
108. We dont have to drive when on a date
109. Men fantasize about sex 20 times a day but women can get laid more often.
110. We are sexier
111. We express ourselves better
112. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night
113. Women do less time for violent crime
114. Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye"
115. We can talk to our mom everyday and it's considered normal.

I don't think men can top this list!

Answer 1

Wow, that was good
And soooo true

Answer 2

I think some of the new problems women face is that now they are just as equal, most of the time, earning the household money. But still are expected to get dinner and take care of the kids, clean the house. Men are also I noticed are less likely to work and expect the wife to take care of them. Men are afraid to open the door for us, I guess either from fear that we will yell at them that we can do it ourselves, they don't give nice compliments due to fear that we will charge them with sexual harassment. We are lucky to find a man that cares enough to want to be at home, and is a little old fashioned about taking care of us but still allows us to be an equal. I also think that women are pressured to look a certain way, because of false advertising that Hollywood has shown us with the perfect women. When in fact this is an illusion that without 50 people working on her for 5 hours will never achieve.

Answer 3

I think that about sums it up... Although, I do pump my own gas and I have changed a flat tire in the rain. I also own more power tools than most men (and I know how to use them)... That's what's so great about women - we know how and can do most anything. We just choose not to either because A) we don't want to get our hands dirty, or B) we know when a man needs his ego boosted and we can pretend to be helpless to make him feel big and strong.

Answer 4

The list is too long, I'd say I need to find the right one for myself.

Answer 5

I made it to #67. Good points but now my brain hurts.

Answer 6

Some might have too much time on their hands.

Answer 7

fo sho! sorry about guys luck lol

Answer 8

you forgot one thing
we get stuck with dead beat dads who don't pay child support and we are the ones ending up being the barrer of bad news

Answer 9

I think you have covered it all.

Answer 10

Sounds like they take advantage of everybody! Karma, baby.