my wife cheated and i want to get past it but how do i forgive and forget
2007-01-22 01:06:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It depend on how much do you love her and how much she love you.
Can you forgive yourself, if you cheat on your wife? Can she forgive you?
It will be the answer for your question.
2007-01-22 01:28:11 · answer #1 · answered by David Fhu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its easy to prepare for a wedding but not easy to prepare for a marriage. Did u contribute to her cheating? even if you did, she shouldn't have opted to be unfaithful. There are some rules in a relationship that just shouldn't be broken. Fidelity is one. Once you've been cheated on, you may forgive but you'll never forget. Its gonna eat at you all the time, your mind will be suspicious all the time and the anger will always be there. Most people will say forgive and move on, but in my personal opinion once that trust is broken, the relationship has already crumbled. Its beyond salvage.
2007-01-22 09:13:50 · answer #2 · answered by Pauline G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive if you choose to but forgetting is alot harder and may never happen. You may need counseling to help you get past this and move on past the pain that it has caused you and your marriage in your life. I hope that with time you can forgive her and work on your marriage. Is she truley sorry for what she has done and has she asked you for forgiveness???? I will be praying for you and your marriage. Think of it this way... If it had been you that had cheated would you want the other person to forgive you? I have learned this and it helps me.... I learned to treat and forgive the other person the way that i would want them to treat and forgive me and my imperfections and mistakes.
2007-01-22 09:58:57 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am glad that you are choosing an option to forgive her. We are human and its hard to forget when someone is at fault but its the treatment you would want if you were the one at fault. The best solution is treat her as you would want to be treated. Marriage is a sacred vowe and should be treated accordingly. You should seek counselling too. If you tried counselling and still cant trust her then you should try back from the basics. But the key to forgiveness is the person in the wrong changing their ways.
2007-01-22 09:20:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough question......Ive been in your shoes, and she is now my ex. I think its possible to get thru it with her but you both have to be willing to do whatever takes for that to happen. We never resolved the issue. The thing that I feel stopped us from reconciling is that she never would just tell me the truth. She would deny everything. Then as I would offer evidence her response was always "Ok, yeh that happened but the rest of it didnt", I would then offer proof of something else and she would again admit to that and only that. I think most people can deal with anything if they know what they are dealing with. I really feel as if she would have sat down one time and told me everything (no matter how ugly, there may have been a chance. I will ad that I wasnt really happy in the marriage and she obviously was not either, but there were children involved and I wold have stayed.
2007-01-22 09:39:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To tell you the truth, it is not an easy thing, time only can make you forgive, but you can never forget.
Your wife has to work really hard to earn your trust back, she needs to really convince and prove to you that this will never happen again.
If you both have the will to go on, you will be able to achieve your goal. Just give it time.
Good luck
2007-01-22 09:34:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u may be able to forgive it, but u will never forget it, stop blaming yourself for her choices. face the reality here, lay the blame where it truly belongs. she has to earn back your trust, and be accountable, and remorseful and allow u to express your pain. forgiveness is a choice we make and we just have to let it go if we want to be in the marriage. she plays a part also, to show remorse, and want to rebuild the trust.
2007-01-22 11:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on a holiday to a quiet place i.e. island, mountains, forest and enjoy time on your own. Then get back into the swing of things, never take any anger on any other girl as your next relationship will be different, no two girls are alike.
2007-01-22 09:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by Tonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my wife had a fling, it hurt like hell. But what helped me is realizing what areas I needed to improve about myself. She only wanted my attention and affection but I was to narrow minded and was a workaholic. After I woke up and changed my ways, we were able to overcome her infidelity and we are stronger now than ever before. Quite frankly, her cheating actually saved our marriage!
2007-01-22 09:17:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can get over it ,but it won't be easy ...if you stay with her make sure that she is sincere about her being sorry for what she did and you have to work together to get past it ....but if you leave her then just take it one day at a time and remember that it was not your fault
2007-01-22 09:12:32 · answer #10 · answered by kellygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋