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23 answers

There is no certain amount of time. Forgiveness comes when you're ready to forgive.

2007-01-22 00:09:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Saying they forgive - to you or to themselves, is easy. "Feeling it" involved a spiritual "tuning in" that will remind them; 'Hey, this is in the past'... each time the bad memories come up.

The latter kind of forgiveness- true forgiveness, is only possibly if there is enough substance in your relationship and desire to move forward. And that, unfortunately, depends on what's been done that merits forgiveness. Some people are able to forgive yet realise this situation means they need to learn that YOU are not a person to be trusted a second time around. And that, my friend, is where hope lives. If you can be constant without being clingy, ask forgiveness sincerely without looking for justification for your actions, then you stand a good chance you will be forgiven.

The only factor is time..and THAT depends on how often the other person has been hurt in a similar way, & if you were aware of it. People who keep getting hurt in a particular way tend to not trust others readily after the first time the "vase breaks"..

So, in summary, if you've broken the vase, offer your white flag and your super-glue. Then wait. If you care enough about the other person, remember love moves mountains. If you give up, then it means it's time to learn, to grow, and to go shopping for a new vase. So sorry you're hurting - hope it all works out!

2007-01-22 01:12:09 · answer #2 · answered by Sugar 4 · 0 0

This all depends on the person doing the forgiving and what has happened to them. For me I have learned to forgive even if i dont feel like it as it is very healing for me.... This helps heal me and ease the pain of what has happened and I would want others to forgive me for my mistakes. We are not perfect as no one is so forgiveness is a choice and I choose to do it because i believe that we all should do it. My pastor said that Unforgiveness and bitterness is the poison we drink while we wait for the other person to die... I also know that the Bible says that if we do not forgive others that our Heavenly father will not even hear our prayers and that we will not be forgiven. The longer it takes for a person to forgive the harder it is for them to heal and get past things. Unforgiveness and bitterness is actually harder on you as a person and physically since it can cause worry and gallstones and other health issues and it does not hurt the other person like that. Years ago when i was married to my first husband I was a very bitter and angry person and I had a hard time forgiving anyone of anything and let me tell you I was one messed up person who would run from things instead of facing them and it messed up my life bigtime! It was not worth it. My life has changed and gotten better since then and God has helped heal me and to learn how to live a better and more confindent life. It actually feels good and is very healing to me to forgive and as i do so it actually comes a little more easier and natural with time.
One thing that happened locally here is a guy killed some Amish chilren like 4 or five of them in a schoolhouse and then he killed himself and the Amish people were so forgiving and loving that they actually went to his funeral and comorted his family... This spoke volumes to me and really touched my heart and taught me a lesson. Yes the were very sad by what had happened but they were not bitter and angry and they reacted the right way. I also look at it this way... We are not held accountable to what happens to us BUT we are held accountable and responsible to how we respond... Okay Okay i am done now so i will step down off of my soapbox. I know my way of thinking is not popular but i feel it is the best way to feel and to act and to treat others. We should always treat and forgive others the way we would want to be treated and forgiven dont you think?
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://www.drphil.com

2007-01-22 01:42:29 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0 0

Well people forgive half heartedly most of the time.. depends on what they are forgiving and how painful the act was that was committed..

example.. im sorry i spilled bleach on ur fav shirt.. be upset , but easily forgiven fully..

Sorry for cheating on u and causing u hurt and pain.. may be forgiven but not forgotten .. in which ur not totally forgiven.. they are trying to forgive..but not totally..

So it just depends on the act that was done, how hurtful it was to the person that was hurt by it.. on how long it takes to be forgiven for something..

2007-01-22 00:35:27 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0 0

It depends on what they did and if their taking the effort of trying to still be in your life. Though if the situation is a big one and they really hurt you and maybe others then it should take alot longer but on simple things no longer then maybe a week. You make the choice in how big the situation is and when you feel its right to forgive the person.

2007-01-22 00:11:39 · answer #5 · answered by Baby_ Frizell 09 1 · 0 0

It would to me, depend on if I should have had boundries, if I allowed myself to let another cross that boundry. You can choose how long you want to feel the heaviness that comes with not forgiving and how hanging onto that anger,(which is no doubt hurt) can cause problems in other areas of your life! Is it worth you suffering, holding on to the garbage? It is not easy at least that is my thought. You can do it, you can make amends to that person, but you may need to not keep company with such person if, it is an unhealthy situation for you.Good Luck

2007-01-22 00:38:21 · answer #6 · answered by my4dogs 3 · 0 0

Depends on the person and the circumstances. Because you are in the Marriage and Divorce section I will assume your question has to do with relationships. My ex cheated on me and we are now divorced. I forgave him after about 4 months because we have a son and I did not want to become bitter and resentful. However, I will never forgive the other woman. And I do not have to. I want nothing to do with her and the best part is - I do not have to have anything to do with her.

2007-01-22 00:56:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Depends on what it is you're forgiving, your feelings towards the person you are forgiving and your belief system - could range from 1 minute later to never.

2007-01-22 00:10:22 · answer #8 · answered by Blonde & Sharp 2 · 0 0

Depends on the person. Alot of time people will forgive but will never forget. Time heals all wounds but not all go away completely.

2007-01-22 00:10:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Forgivness is a mindset that one haves before they are offended by another. That said- It should be instant if you are a forgiving person.

2007-01-22 00:36:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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