I started my university in October 2006 and i droped out becuase i was not happy with the course and now i have taken a gap year. i was thinking of applying to university this year but i dont whether i should or not because i would be married in july and i dont know if i can cope with it. Also my boyfriend is not supporting me in continuing with my education as he wants me to work for 2 years have baby and than start the education. but i dont know what i want!! please help me to mke the right choice.
2007-01-21 23:38:01 · 40 answers · asked by Abhi P 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
if u want then get married but get yourself an education!!
go to UNI! don't stop living your life... u can have kids later
concentrate on ur education!
u go get it tiger!
2007-01-21 23:41:38 · answer #1 · answered by MiZz RuBy 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If he's not supporting you in what you originally wanted to do, are you sure you should be marrying him? Marriage is about compromise not selfishness. Also, you say you don't know if you can cope with studying while you are married, how does that affect studying? Marriage isn't something difficult that can't be done at the same time as something else, and shouldn't stop you doing anything you want (except seeing other people of course!)
If you do not start it up again this year, and put it off to work then have a family etc... are you sure you will take it up again in the future? It will be a whole lot harder to study with a child to look after, it may be best to do it now while you can. You are only 19, there is plenty of time for children after your studying has finished.
I think you should study now, in order to be able to get a better job in the future and be able to support your children better when you can go back to work.
But only you know what you want to do, just bear in mind it is not the only time you can go to uni, nor the only time you can have kids, so you can do it either way.
2007-01-21 23:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, 19 is very young to get married. You need to talk this over with your boyfriend. Do YOU want to work for two years and have a baby? If its not something you want it will be a bad thing to do, you will resent it and will resent not going to university. You don't sound as if you're very happy about the situation. You need to do what is right for you. You have 20 years before you have to have children! Education is a precious thing, and although it is possible to have children while working towards a degree, its a damn sight easier without. Thing about it like this - do you and your boyfriend want to give your children all of the best opportunities in life? Having a degree will lead to a better and more secure life in the future. Imagine you had a daughter and she was considering this at 19, I'm guessing you would want her to have her education first.
Good luck.
xSx
2007-01-21 23:50:53 · answer #3 · answered by Cheeky Chops 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young enough to have your cake and eat it !!!
A university course is a big commitment ( 3-4 years)
and you need to put Your *all* in to get decent grades .
After which ,you may or may not get a decent job ...
you are young enough to pick up your education later '
But you still have to live and pay your way, till you do..
when the time comes and you have a baby( baby's )
it will be harder to do full time education + the worries of child minding etc
( not impossible !! it can be done!!!)
Nobody can tell you how to map out your future,
You have to weigh up the options .
Go with your heart
I wish you all the very best
and congratulations on your July wedding
>^,,^<
2007-01-22 00:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by sweet-cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your having doubts honey then don't.
I wish I had some good advice before I got married (also at age 19),
I was divorced by 21 as I gave up alot for him and followed him and his job.
Live your life first If your man is worth it he will understand, if you dont follow your dreams you will eventually resent him, it may sound ok have a baby then go back to uni, but once you have the baby it will be so much harder to go back due to the fact you will need a job for money and the childcare alone will cost you an arm and a leg, you probably wont go back,
My advice is do it now while you still can, you have the rest of your life for marriage and kids, live a little xx
2007-01-21 23:46:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have that many doubts, it doesn't sound like you're ready for marriage and certainly not a baby. Why would you want to be with a man that didn't support your dreams and goals. I would seriously think about this. I think you should go back to school. Just because you didn't like one course doesn't mean they will all be the same. And you have to remember that you will not enjoy every course you take. Some courses are necessary. It will get better. I think you need to experience more of life before you take a major step like marriage. You don't want to be one of those people that gets a divorce when you're still in your early 20s and have a kid to support. Good luck!
2007-01-21 23:43:03 · answer #6 · answered by vmarie84 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you definately shouldn't drop out just because your boyfriend doesn't think you should - and if he doesn;t support your choices and ambitions you really shouldn't be mayying him!!
if you didn't like the coure fair enough, but there are thousands and thousands of courses out there. If you don't think you can handle it you can even study part time, either through a traditional university or through something like the open university, then you can take you time and still work etc.
do not underestimate the importance of education, especially if you want to set a good example for those kids you might be having in a couple of years!!
2007-01-21 23:55:29 · answer #7 · answered by meeeeeee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you marry this guy do you honestly think he will support you though uni after you have finished having kids and are old enough to go to school, well that's at least 7 years of your life put on hold, think I can safely say you'll be divorced by then, how you going to do it on your own with a few kids in tow?
He sounds like a complete control freak, you are 19 years old, there's plenty of time for marriage and babies, if this guy loves and respects you he would support your decision for bettering your self, plus a better paid job at the end of it. You are young enjoy life whilst you can,before marriage and kids
2007-01-22 03:30:55 · answer #8 · answered by Lulu T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
erm.... i hate to throw a spanner in the works but really
and honestly i would not dream of telling u what u should do with ur life. i would offer u advice, love and honour and cherish and obey u but not manipulate or control u.
r u sure u have the right fella??
if he gets any worse gal, life could be awful 4 u!!
i am soooo sorry to be the bearer of bad news but at the same time, if u were my daughter i would say the same thing.
u do whatever UUUUUU think is right. don't get stroppy with him but i think u should make it clear very gently that whatever u do, he either likes it or ******* lumps it!!!LOL!!!
love and fatherly hugs
xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxox
if u leave it too long u may lose the desire and feel u are out of touch with ur peer group. i know from experience that girls drop out from uni to have children etc. if u have a child, who looks after them when u r at uni?? and how on earth will u ever be able to let ur hair down gal??!!
if i were ur dad i would say back to uni, work hard, party hard and maybe u might find someone less controlling! do u think he might be worried about that? better the devil u know??!!i don't think this has been thought thru properly.
i would delay getting married and get ur qualification. if he deserves u, he ought to be prepared to wait, i know darned well that i would.
love and hugs again
xoxoxoxoxoxox
2007-01-21 23:52:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not the be all and end all if you are married and have children at such a young age. depending on your character you could do this. firstly it can depend on how long you have been together, and how strong your relationship is. from the sounds of it your partner is not bothered how you feel. it also depends if you want children at a young age. if you would rather do your degree then do it. depending on which type of degree you are doing you might be able to have kids at the same time (again depends how strong you are) if your partner can support you with children then that could be an option if you want that. marriage shouldn't change a thing. at the end of the day you are making a commitment and to be blunt it is only a piece of paper (not denying an important piece) : ). just think it through and talk with your boyfriend and come to a compramise.
2007-01-22 03:35:20 · answer #10 · answered by joey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A) Why are you getting married so young, when your boyfriend doesn't even care what you want to do with your life, just wants you to sit at home and look after his house!
B) What do YOU want out of life? Forget what anyone else wants you to do - what do you want? Do you want to finish your education, that thing you have already put much work into?
Please bear in mind, the chance of you being able to get back to uni after working for 2 years AND having kids is EXCEEDINGLY small, very very few people have managed it. I would place money on it once you have kids, there is no way your controlling partner will let you go back to Uni.
2007-01-21 23:44:30 · answer #11 · answered by cuddles_gb 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋