Separated for months and I'm ready to call it quits. Now she is all interested in trying to fix things. Should I try anymore or not? Do people really change? Is it worth any more of my effort since I was the only one struggling all this time? Please advise.
2007-01-21 23:25:20 · 15 answers · asked by Wondrin Dude 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
THis is just an opinion but I don't think those things ever work out...too much crap between you that I think, will eventually sneak back in to your head.
2007-01-22 00:28:52 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself if you still love her? If you do then all that struggling you did would have been worth it. If the separation helped the both of you to get your lives back on track then maybe it is time to try it together again. Try taking things slowly by dating first so you can find that love you both had for one another in the beginning. Call her up and make a date and pick her up, take her out for dinner and have a really romantic dinner. Then take her home and kiss her good night at the door and then leave. Let her see the true romantic and see what she has been missing. Trust me she will be calling you the next time and asking you out, but you will not be leaving the next time, she will want you to stay. Just remember take it slow and keep your place and let her keep hers that way if it does not work the two of you will not have to go through the whole thing of finding places to live. If the marriage is worth it then never give up fighting. Best of luck to you.
2007-01-21 23:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I can tell you is, if you decide to give it one more chance, at least you will know that you did everything you could to work on this relationship. Then, down the road, you will not have any regrets.
Depending on what your situation is, I would highly recommend going to a couselor so that an unbiased person can give you suggestions and pointers.
Yes I believe that people really change, but she might be saying what you want to hear so that you take her back. Tread carefully my friend. Has she been with other people in the meantime? This happened to my best friend...they got back together...and now she has herpes from him. Unreal. Get a counselor involved and be careful. If you were ready to call it quits...that says quite a bit about her already.
2007-01-21 23:31:29 · answer #3 · answered by PrincessOfFun35 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Separation is exactly the right medicine for some marriages. It allows partners to decide how invested they are in the relationship and if they wish the marriage to continue.
Sound like in this case, the separation has led you to believe you'd rather move on, whereas it's made her miss you and maybe she realised what she's missing. Depending on what went wrong, and for how long, and how many times you've tried, it may well be time to follow your head & start a new life. Still, if you have any residual feelings for her, then hey - what's another try?... Best wishes.
2007-01-22 00:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by Sugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't look at all the negative points. Think of why you guys fell in love in the first place. Yes, you can give it another try so that you don't regret not giving it later on in life. People can change. (If you're married and have kids, let me tell u tht they will suffer the most.)
2007-01-21 23:29:18 · answer #5 · answered by faiza_t 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People do change dude. Talk this out.
Talk about the problem and how to handle it when things go wrong again. Remember to work the problem.
If its anything else other than adultry, expect it to happen again and make a plan to deal it.
2007-01-21 23:37:27 · answer #6 · answered by Fernandes 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no...you can't change people.....if it were me, I would make a clean break, get a divorce and move on with my life...only you know if in your heart you want to give it one more go but if she didn't come looking for you with a solution to the issues before this, chances are she is really not willing to work to fix this marriage...good luck
2007-01-21 23:34:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is worth it but, keep your eyes open ! I went through the same thing only to be kicked out.
2007-01-21 23:30:02 · answer #8 · answered by Williamstown 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People can change if they want to. Have you tried marriage counselling? You don't sound as if you want to go back, ask yourself these two questions, Do you love her? Are you in love with her? Good luck.
2007-01-21 23:39:32 · answer #9 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends on what your problem was. i think u should seek a third party to help u sort out the problems and come up with a solution.
my husband and i have been married for 5 years and our arguments have been the same for 5 years. so a third party would help us too.
2007-01-21 23:37:55 · answer #10 · answered by Miki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋