My daughter is like 14 years old and she is going out with some boy in her class that is 15 years old. Almost older than her. What should I do? She always sneaking out of her room everytime my husband and I leave the house. My husband knows her boyfriend but I don't know him. Please help me.
2007-01-21 22:24:08 · 19 answers · asked by Rose Gill 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
i have been in your daughter's position some time back, now i am a mum, and i would never behave this way. try and have an open discussion with your daughter, choose the right moment, when between "woman" to "girl", you can have a frank discussion about having boyfriends, going out, 'being in love'. etc... it is better for her to know she can confide in you rather for her to fear you and hide things from you; then you always get nasty surprises! make sure you are open enough for her to be able to come and talk to you about her problems and her feelings, be her mum and her friend. difficult, i know, but it's something that you must nurture and it's your responsibility as her mother. My parents had been very strict, but in my youth, i developped incredible strategies to get around thier strict rules. they never talked to me about sex (even though i had the general moral rule that sex is "bad"), and the result was i fell pregnant at 18 and hid the pregnancy until the very late stage. it was devastating for me and for them, but it's partly a consequence of their attitude as parents. Do not sneak on her or try to surprise her. tell her that you know what she's doing, and that it's not a way to go. tell her you are open to let her go out as long as some limits are respected, and put the limits. Tell her you want to know her boyfriend, and when he comes around, get to know him as well. this is a very sensitive age and stage for her, you need to be there for her, and guide her through, so she does not make any unnecessary mistakes. Communication is key, so talk to her, and let her talk to you without getting mad or screaming if she says certain things that are shocking. be open and explain to her what the consequences of her behaviour could be. she can see her boyfriend during school days at school and maybe during the weekend at certain hours, but do not prevent her from going out or seeing him, it will happen behind your back anyway. rather make her learn how to become responsible.
2007-01-21 23:02:41 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Inform your daughter that you want to meet her boyfriend. Invite him over for a huge pizza dinner and sit around and watch a scary movie that every one would like! That will give you all some well needed bonding time as a family know what I mean? Your feels left out cuz your hubby has met him but you havent.. Explain it to your daughter and Im sure she wouldnt mind pizza and parents too much- especially if he cares for her@ Good luck to u Meet him and try to make your own opinion of him, he could be a really great kid! If he is 15 and she 14 they are close in age BUT make sure to talk to your daugfhter about birth control. BUY it for her!
2007-01-22 11:39:07 · answer #2 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello baby,
This is not a major issue.
1. Its with open talk you can solve, the problem. The thing is first you analysis
this relation ship is healthy manner, not take that issue going with older or
younger boys. The issue is whether is it friendly or familiar relationship, this
my loving nature you can present to your dagger,well i knowing that you
are going with boys, its okay in friendship , but from that extent go to familiar will
effect your life than us. This clearly pointed to your daughter , you have the
full right on that. If the response or attitude of your dagger is not fare talk
with husband, and make the conclusion. The daughter is both of them, hence you
not take much pain, both can share and talk the situation and deal with lovely
manner and present with your daughter your worries.
2007-01-24 06:22:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so, what's the issue, he's ALMOST older than her? or is it that she sneaks out. if that is the case, then take her with you, or get a babysitter. Let her know that you don't trust her and that you will be treating her like a baby as long as she acts like one (i.e. sneaking around) If you want to meet him go to her school one day, and ask her to meet him, (in front of everyone, embarass her a little). She'll probably hate you for a while, but it'll be for the best, right??
Wait, her father knows him and he don't have a problem with him, shocking!!
2007-01-22 06:39:06 · answer #4 · answered by Confused & Young 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you ask your daughter to introduce him to you so then you know what kind of boy your daughter is hanging out with? Then, balance out your rules. Are you too strict of a parent that she feels a need to rebel? Or are you the kind of parent that doesn't lay the ground rules and stick to it w/consequences? Just have a talk w/her (nicely) and see what she's been up to lately. Cause if you've raised her right she is more likely a good person and will more likely do the right thing.
2007-01-22 06:36:34 · answer #5 · answered by adorable 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speak to your daughter about it.That you know she has been sneaking to meet him. Tell her you have no objection if she meets him in your house or outside the house in your presence.Don't stick to her but definitely be around .Tell her that she is too small to be left alone.once she gets matured than she would be able to handle herself on her own till then she should do what you say.Don't criticise her but make her understand the limits of this friendship.If she doesn't listen then dint leave her alone.one of the parents should stay home or take her also along with you.
2007-01-22 06:52:25 · answer #6 · answered by sudha p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear friend,there is nothing wrong about having friendship with somebody,but if she is trying to do it hiddenly then it is a problem.it seems like there is a communication gap within you your daughter and your husband.or she has more trust in her father then you.first of all befriend the boy some way,you have to do it any way,take him in trust.through him befriend his mother.give your daughter a cell phone keep calling her every time she is out. keep sending her messages ,so that she realises how much you care about her.if the boy is in bad company it is a problem .or take it easy.
2007-01-22 07:47:19 · answer #7 · answered by toploser 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that bad for someone to date an older boy, my boyfriend is 5 years older, just give her some freedom, just make sure she knows this sneeking out thing isn't going to fly and thats not the way to freedom. Set some ground rules, do what you have to.
2007-01-22 06:40:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is still young, don't fear too much about it, it is a matter of age, ask your daughter calmly about her intention of wondering with her boy friend. Ask her whether it is a friendship or any other relationship. If it is a relationship talk to her boyfriend directly, understand his view of being with your daughter & then take a decision.
2007-01-25 04:28:51 · answer #9 · answered by rudrayya s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello mam beeing an amploied person i can understand that there is so less relation ship between u and ur daughter . donot get agressive with her try to sit her and ask her appology and what's ur mistake with u see mam as long as parent's love is there no teen young girl will love anothere but beeing an amploied person i can understand but she can't undersyand so sit beside her try to give her gifts lik e books which describes mothers love
2007-01-22 12:25:31 · answer #10 · answered by supriya k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋