Help! I am EXHAUSTED with 7 month old and 3 yr old!?

Question

Can't function anymore! My health is down the tubes! My 7 month old was colic from 6 days old. He just will not go to bed before 11 PM. I can deal with this but he will not sleep more then 2-3 hours straight! I have had only '3' 6 straight hours of sleep in almost 8 months. Regardless, my 3 yr old is up early raring to go all day! I breastfeed and have done so on demand as not to wake my husband with work and my 3 yr old. I have began to not pick my 7 mnth old up from crib. I pat him intermittantly but since 2 this morning he SCREAMED till 5PM.
He is spoiled, stubborn, can go on with only a tab of sleep! It is hard as I want to comfort him and be with him while he is so young but I cannot keep it up! He has always refused bottles but is now on solids and fed well.
To add, our old faithful dog is high maintanence and when baby sleeps the dog is in need of attention. Hubby has work & does try to help but it is getting insane! I never felt so tired & out of it! ADVICE? COMFORT? Please

You all got me crying (and laughing too)! I love my family & know it will get better but its hard at times. Not much $ for paid help but I will talk to hubby (he is a good man but I still get frustrated with him), and I will ask my friends to help me get sanity back. Swallowing pride is worth it to strenghten a family. And as for my dog, I found him 10 years ago lying by the side of a barren road in bad shape. He loves us & we love him. I have to care for him to the end if not it would be a heartbreak. And as for the coffee, I have always hated it but it has recently become my new friend! Thanks everyone!

Just had baby check up & little guy is healthy! His Pediatr. (Great DOC!) is the one who said to stop the night feedings as he is well fed & does not need it & I looked like I could use the sleep. Its just that this little guy is a toughy but he is the sweetest during the day. I like the belly rub idea!

Answer 1

Honey I am SO sorry!! this is one of those times that I wish I knew you and could actually run over and give you a hand! I am sorry but that is what you really need!
You are doing ALL the right things and you have got your priorities in good order. Congratulations on the fact that you are nursing your baby! It may not feel like it right now but you have cut WAY down on your work load by doing that. My youngest had colic and I can really identify with what you are saying. I had three older ones running around causing havoc while I walked the floor with a screaming infant! I swear he never slept and I learned how to sleep and walk at the same time!(NOT something I would recommend!).
I don't have an easy answers for you, I used to get my little boy to sleep and the very second he felt me lying him down he would start to scream. The only time he was quiet was when I was actually nursing him!
You need actual help. Is there anyone, a mother, mother-in-law, girlfriend...anyone who could give you a hand? Is there anyway you could even afford a teenager to come in for the afternoon and watch your 3 year old so that you and the baby could rest? Would the baby sleep if you cuddled down with him? That used to work with mine.
Believe me bottles will not help, they just add another dimension to the chaos. Keep breastfeeding.
Bless you for caring about your dog, you sound like a good person, someone I would like to know.
Please try to find a way to take care of YOU. Is there anyone you can call to give you a hand? Does your husband have any ideas? Does he know how hard you are struggling? Be honest and have a talk with him. He is your partner, for better or for worse and this sounds like a for worse! If you get really sick who will do it all? It might be easier for him to find an answer now rather than to let that happen. I know, it happened to me. I was so run down and so sick that I had to be hospitalized...baby and all cause I was nursing.
All I can say is that it will end. Colic does not go on forever. My son turned into the sweetest, most placid little guy and has been the easiest child to raise out of the 5.
Hang in there. Send out the SOS....try to find another pair of hands to help you. That is what you need. Feel free to write to me if I can help.
Love and Blessings
Lady Trinity~( p.s. DO NOT get rid of the dog. You do not start tossing out the things you love in a crisis. Your dog is part of the family too!)

Answer 2

This is a really hard time in every mum's life. Babies are demanding and so are toddlers. It doesn't help that when you are sleep deprived all the aggravations are magnified a hundred-fold.
First thing: can you find someone who can take the 3 year old for a few hours so that he/she is occupied somewhere else?

Ignore the dog if you can. The children are more important and you also need to work out whether your family can really deal with a high needs animal when so much else is going on.

Go to the library and get some books with advice on sleep training for babies. Your baby is not actually spoiled or stubborn. He needs you and he's letting you know that something is not right for him. He sounds overtired and sometimes overtired babies skip completely past sleepy and go straight to insanely upset. Try to use some sleep techniques to encourage better sleep, like a good routine for sleeps and naps - and stick to it!

Get some sleep any way you can! You can't think straight when you are so tired. Can husband take both children for a drive for an hour or two? Do you have other friends or family who might come over and take them for a few hours? Ask for help. Look for local resources that can give you advice about sleep.
Good luck. I never want to go back to that time. It's a truly awful memory for me.

Answer 3

I know what you're going through. I've got an 11 yr old, a 2 yr old, and 1 yr old, then their half brother who is 4 is here every other weekend. Their dad is only home 4 days a month, which means when Dad is home, we have the 4 yr old. My family will only help with the 11 Yr old, because the other ones are 'too rough'. They never stop moving! I finally found, putting my 2 yr old in the booster chair with crayons and a coloring book. (non-toxic crayons), and put the youngest in her high chair with anything to keep her happy. (even CHEETOS!, they dissolve quick) If that doesn't work, I put them both in the bathtub, (the little one is out of a chair now) sit down in front of it, and flip through a magazine. Anything to get a break. We also child proofed our dining room and living room, and put gates up, so I know where they are, and if I need a break, I can be in the next room, still keep an eye on them, and not have them hanging on me when I just need those few minutes to breathe. I still think the best solution I have found, is the Cheetos and bath solution. It may not be the healthiest, but it worked. I only do this when it's really bad, but I let them get all orange eating Cheetos, then let them play in the bath for a while. When all else fails, call and BEG someone to get them, even if it's only for an hour. We did however get rid of our dog when the youngest was born. We had a Rottweiler, who had to have his nose in your butt every minute of every day. Not to mention it fell to me to brush him, play with him, and take him out. The funny thing is, I was the only one in the house that DIDN'T want a dog! Daddy and our 11 yr old wanted him! Stay strong, it gets better. If you every need to vent, feel free to e-mail me. Even if no one can come to help, venting will at least help a little. I vent to my grandmother every single morning! She knows what it's all about, 5 kids, 7 grandkids, and she raised every one of us! She's 76 years old, and she'll still tell me every day about the things we used to do. It makes me realize that all those times my mom said 'I hope you have kids just like you', well, mine are by far worse than she ever thought we were...lol...she had girls, I have 3 boys and a girl...and you know, my grandmother will be the first to say, 'you think it's bad now, wait until they start DRIVING!'

Answer 4

When my kids were that age and refused to do what they were told, I put them in time out but they had to hold their hands way up over their heads. Within 5 minutes they'd be pleading, "Mommy, please can I go clean my room? My hands are soooo heavy!" Worked every time. As for the tantrums, they're just a bid for attention. I sent my kids to their rooms and closed the door. They were allowed back out when they were ready to behave. That never took more than 5 minutes, either. Take away toys and things she values and make her earn them back. If she still refuses to put toys away, tell her if she doesn't, you'll give it to charity so a child who'll appreciate it will get it. Be prepared to follow through. If you don't, you'll have no credibility. Bring her with you when you drop them off so she knows you mean business. Sometimes you just have to shock them into taking you seriously. After losing a few treasures, she'll think twice before she defies you. If she does a good job without a hassle, give her something back. Good luck!

Answer 5

My son was sick and spoilt for the first 3 yrs so i know the feeling.
My doctor reminded me that sleep depravation is a form of torture!
Buy some phenergan and drug the little buggers so that you get some sleep.
Follow the directions on the bottle and dont over do it.
At hospital it is given with paracetamol as a pre-med for an operation, so you wont kill them.
Start making him take a bottle through the day so that you can comp him at night with formula or 50/50 cows milk & water. It will be more filling than breast milk and you can get up through the night ...toss him a bottle and crash until the morning.
Good luck!

Answer 6

The screaming 7 month old is on solid foods -
is still breastfeeding on demand -
and you're exhausted. he screamed from 2AM to 5PM?

Colic from 6 days to 7 months is unusual - see your pediatrician.

Either the diet is not satisfying the child [pump or offer formula with cereals (check with your pediatrician)]

or he's teething. please check for signs of teething and give comforting things to chew on - chill the rattles and teethers.

Begin to schedule breastfeedings, mealtimes and nap times - and get some rest yourself. On demand feedings are fine for the newborn's first few months - the older they get - the harder it gets to change to scheduled meal times - but it should help.

Have hubby take old faithful high maintenance family friend to a doggie day care or kennel for a day or ask a family member to help.

Get help/sitter for a few hours - to bathe, feed and nap the babies.
work on your schedule and meal plans -
take a 20 or 30 minute nap - you'll see how much it will help.

Get a sitter for a datenite out with your hubby. Doesn't have to be for more than just dinner out - occasionally. it's good for you both.

Answer 7

I have a 4 yr old, a 2 yr old, and a 7 week old. All boy's I hear you, I had to get strict and take up coffee LOL. I got rid of my pet's it's too much responsibility. Wow I know it's hard. I do it all by my self 24/7. I attach the baby to my boob and when he's don't if i move him he cries allot and if I just let him sleep by me and suckle when he wants I only have to get up to change his diaper. Also I take a pacifier to bed with me. It helps some days.

Answer 8

You need a husband, mother, mother-in-law or girlfriend to take both kids and give you the Three Hour Solution every day this week, or at least every other day.

If you get a break, you will be able to think clearly and address the other problems one by one.

The worst part of your note is that you are at risk of postpartum depression and don't even seem to realise it.

Answer 9

I have memories like that with my son. People advised me to let him cry for one night, and he will stop demanding attention. It was torturous experience to hear him cry all night. Me and my husband were crying silently in our beds, but after that night baby never disturbed us. I fixed him for the night around 11pm, and he slept till 6am. But, you have to be sure, that he is healthy. You mentioned colic, and it may be the reason for baby to cry. Check if your milk is giving colics,or other food he eats. Dill water may help, also some exercise. Before nighttime massage his belly softly clockwise in bellybutton area. Also, put him on back, and bend his little legs toward his belly very gently few times to let gas out. And remember it is all temporary. Try to nap with children at day time
with them. Talk to doctor about all this. Find someone who can be with children for about 2 hrs at daytime, so you can rest (co-op with other mothers?).I wish I could be your neighbor to offer my help. Good luck!

Answer 10

where do you live? in the UK where i live your 3 yr old can go to playgroup for free 5 mornings a week or if not get a nanny or a cleaner to help you any parents or friends nearby that can help so you can sleep hope you get some much needed help love and prays for you xx