I am not saying that i don't love her (as a person absolutely) BUT I am not in love with her. This has been slowly creeping up on me for about 2.5 years. I have actually told her this. Brutally honest, that is what I am. She wants to try and make it work but I am struggling with allowing myself to open back up to her like I have in the past. Help.....
2007-01-21 19:15:38 · 28 answers · asked by A True Friend 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why don't you want to open back up to her? What would change your mind. What happened in the past. All important things. You need to clear these things up before you pursue any new relationships or the past will repeat itself. My advice to you my friend.... My love.... Make a decision either way make it clear and follow through. No matter what you decide it will be the right choice once you are content. Sitting on the fence is an awful life and it's nothing more then suffering. Make your declarations and continue on. But I will tell you, your not the only one hurting.
2007-01-23 10:31:19 · answer #1 · answered by Monique M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after just 2.5 years, you are ready to give it up? marriage is about commitment. maybe the feeling of fanatic attraction you had for her dwindled a little, so maybe you are a little scared that things won't get better. but trust me, you have only just spent a tiny amount of time with her. there is so much more to experience, to learn from her and for her to learn from you. marriage is so beautiful, committing yourself to the person you love. maybe you are a little confused about what love really is. the hormones won't fly forever, but love is more than that. it doesn't just slowly creep on you that you don't love someone like that, does it? just keep at it, friend. You'll see that things will get better. open yourself up to her. give her a chance to show you what you need to be shown. if it is just boredom with your spouse, because you don't feel that lust for adventure and life together anymore, then go out and do something that will change things. experience the world with her and through her. that doesn't necessarily mean travel around the continents, but experience her thoughts and her dreams, and let her experience yours.
2007-01-21 19:27:03 · answer #2 · answered by tmrrwtdy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darn it, why are the all the questions tonight, a smack in the face????? (sorry that was a personal thought outloud), LOL.
I think I would ask myself the foloowing things about the situation, like do you have kids, together? What is the parenting plan if you split up? Are you guys still civil to each other? Is anyone have adult realtions with another? What are the good things about each other, and the bad? What benifits are there to staying together for you both, being single?
I don't think there is anything wrong with staying with them as long as you both are honest with each other about your feelings and you (or she) are not staying together because of the other one's feelings (might lead to resentment). Who knows, you guys might find out that you love each other and just needed time to find that out.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-21 19:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by Someonesmommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes is wrong, How you support her if you don't love her no more? Perhaps you should think in your kids, if you have any, How do you explain them that you can't be happy with their mom or that you are cheating on her because you don't love her no more? Seat down and talk to her, open your heart, is better to live bad week than live a lie for the rest of your live, perhaps as sooner as better for both of you, so it wont be too late to re-start a new relation with someone else.
2007-01-21 19:22:11 · answer #4 · answered by Javy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two and a half years of drifting away? Some of this is just the normal death of romantic love, it creeps up on you just like aging, and it will happen in every marriage. I say give it one more try with some, (but not too much!) counseling for insight and specific problem solving strategies.
2007-01-21 19:34:48 · answer #5 · answered by Red Herring 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you consider the following articles, preferably together as well as privately ...
Can We Save Our Marriage?
- Trapped in a Loveless Marriage
- Why Does Love Fade?
- Is There Reason for Hope?
- Your Marriage Can Be Saved!
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2001/1/8/article_01.htm
Notice the related articles listed beside these^, too.
Scripture reference links make it easy to see what the Bible has to say, & it is recommended that you look them up in your own copy as well.
(Its URL will likely change soon, whereafter the Advanced Search at http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm will find its modified URL.)
2007-01-21 19:26:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is. Don't waste your life. Don't waste hers. You only get one chance at life. If you have been out of love with her for the last 2.5 years, that's 2.5 years you will never get back. Who knows what you could be doing. Live your life to the fullest. Biggest understatement in history: LIFE IS TOO SHORT.
2007-01-21 19:21:52 · answer #7 · answered by biancajh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm actually having the same issue with my husband. I love him as a person but i'm not "in" love with him anymore. I'm not even sexually attracted to him. I left him about 3 months ago and ended up comming back. I dont know why i did but i did and now i regret it. So...no it's not wrong. If you love someone, no matter what kind of love it is, you dont want to hurt them.
2007-01-21 20:19:43 · answer #8 · answered by swtbabygrl_06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you told her 2 1/2 years ago, why are you still there? I think you are in love with her more than you think.
When you stop fooling yourself into believing your not in love, love with her...you will probably start opening up more.
All pain takes awhile to heal.
If you are absolutely sure you want out than get out now don't wait
2007-01-21 19:29:52 · answer #9 · answered by keeptrying4sure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i some times feel that way ,if you have a kid then i would say yes but if you are with out kids, then it,s better to leave.it,s never good to stay in a love less marrageit,s only 67% divorce rate in the last 30years i head it on the news and even higher for not makeing it to thire 5th year they see people leaving early.
2007-01-21 19:23:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋