I am engaged to a wonderful girl named Amber. She has a son from a previous marriage. He divorce is going to be finalized in February. Her husband recently called her and told her that he wants to delay the divorce a month and have a serious conversation about possibly getting back together for the kid's sake etc. She sat me down one night and told me that she still has feelings for him and that she is in love with both of us. We admits that she got into a relationship with me way too soon. Anyway, I was thinking that I should wait until the end of March to see what her decision is. Should I do that? What if she tells me she needs to wait a few more months to decide? Should make March my cut off point and call it quits at that point? Should I call it quits now? I really love her and it sucks to know that my relationship with her is not set in stone at this point. What do you suggest? Thanks.
2007-01-21 19:14:34 · 8 answers · asked by Bill 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
don't let her take you for granted. If she thinks that you will be by her side no matter what, than it's sure thing she's going to leave you. Just tell her that she's not a child any more and she has to make deceisions now, tell her that you understand her feelings, understand that she is going through hard time, but she also has to think about you - you can't just sit there and wait till march thinking what if she goes back to her husband.
2007-01-21 19:42:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a firm believer in if it was meant to be then it will happen, no matter what you have to do to go through being together. If I were you I would tell Amber that I love her more than anything and that you want her happy and I need to let her to go give her time (say 6 months) to decide what she wants. And then I would walk away (don't call, don't text, don't email, don't stop by). I would then not date anyone seriously for whatever the time is (6 months). At the end of the time (6 months), I would call her up on the phone and see what her decision is. If she is back with the ex I would wish her luck and then walk away with your head held proudly up knowing that you did the right thing. If her choice was me then I would tell her that I will be over in a little bit, run to the flower shop and get flowers (whatever are her favorite) and then go give her the biggest hug and kiss that I had ever given anyone. The plus side to this is that you also get time to make sure being married is something that you want to do. In the mean time of her deciding what she wants, if you are going to be with any other women, I would suggest that you use protection because you wouldn't want a child that you have with another woman getting in the way of being with the woman that you love.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-22 04:34:36 · answer #2 · answered by Someonesmommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
According to Amber, how long have her and her husband been apart?
How long have you been dating Amber?
What story did Amber give you for leaving her husband?
Do you think it is a good idea to marry a woman that has feelings for another man?
How does it make you feel that you are engaged to a girl that has feelings for another man?
How do you feel about being engaged to a woman that is still married and thinking about getting back with her husband?
Is this acceptable to you?
Are you comfortable with the answers to these questions? If so, I would wait. Furthermore, if you are willing to wait till March, why not wait longer if need be? I mean, what's the difference?
No matter what you decide, I wish you luck.
Stay up playa!
2007-01-22 04:21:57 · answer #3 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! Do not marry a girl who is still attached to her old spouse (plus kid)! She has emotional baggage to work out with ex-hubby. And I don't think it will be resolved by March (unless it's resolved by her going back to him).
I'd break up with her, tell her she needs to work out her issues with the Ex, and to call you when she's decided she's done with him.
Whether you take her back AFTER that is up to you, but I'd seriously recommend couples counseling (and not just once or twice) before even thinking about marriage with someone in these circumstances. It CAN work out, but often does not.
Good luck!
2007-01-22 03:43:55 · answer #4 · answered by Julia A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say make the decision for her and leave.Who's to say this wont happen again later in life? You really are in a bad spot but you don't deserve having to wait and see who she wants to be with.Good Luck!
2007-01-22 03:20:22 · answer #5 · answered by amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sit idly by and wait for her and her ex to make a decision..
You need to either fight for her or cut her loose and move on.
Be Proactive..
2007-01-22 03:24:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
End it... sounds like an emotional roller coaster that will be never ending - you know that saying? If you really love something let it go... if it was yours to love it will return
Listen to your own instincts...
2007-01-22 03:45:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of her she hasn't been honest with you
2007-01-22 03:20:03 · answer #8 · answered by keeptrying4sure 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋