Opinions on my child custody case, please PART 2?

Question

PLEASE READ PART 1 FiRST! THANKS!
I agreed and now have sole custody of both children. I moved my family to Texas about 3 years ago and Their father has hardly contacted them at all at most 2-3 times a year. Hit or miss on holidays and birthdays. Recently I filed for and have been granted child support. Now he is filing for custody, saying I am unfit because I am on disability for bipolar disorder. I do have this illness but I am treating it and I can take care of day to day life. My home is clean, my kids are well fed and dressed and they are happy well adjusted children for the most part. neither child wants to move in with Dad they are 15 and 11. I am getting remarried in A few weeks I am so upset and I'm sure I left out so many details , but I could go on for days with all the details, now you at least have an idea. Please any input on how this will go.....

Answer 1

I have bi polar disorder too! I went through a similar situation when my children were young. My husband had all but abandoned his children and when he found out he would have to pay child support, he wanted them back. This was in Louisiana. Louisiana and Texas have very similar laws . My home was always clean and my children were well fed and happy. They did not want to go with him and loved their home. The judge found me to be the better parent in spite of the fact that I have bi polar disorder. As long as your children are cared for and not affected by this, your ex will still have to provide proof that he is the better parent. With his history of not wanting anything to do with them until he had to pay child support, the courts will see you as the better of the two who is more stable. Just be sure to get a note from your doctor saying your disorder is under control and you do take meds. And that you are stable and can manage your children and household just fine. They will probably do a mental exam on both of you to determine who is more mentally fit. I passed with flying colors! The judge awarded me custody and told him that I had been taking care of my children years before I ever decided to get child support and had been doing very well with no help from my ex. He could not get my children from me.
Don't be nervous, be up front and matter of fact. Never be ashamed that you have this disorder. It is not your fault and does not make you a bad parent! Relax, it will work out!

Answer 2

I am not a family law attorney and don't know about Texas law, but I suspect that, after 3 years or so with very few visits, that the court is going to laugh this one out of court. Suddenly he wants to be in your kids' lives? What changed?

I don't know what your visitation orders are, but maybe the court would entertain more visits. Additionally, the kids, particularly the 15 year old, are old enough that the court would take very seriously what the kids have to say about where they want to live. Additionally, courts tend not to like to change the circumstances of the children. About your illness, it's relatively common, but, unless it can be proven that it interferes with the lives and well-being of your children, just the mere fact that you have it isn't going to do much of anything. You are not unfit because you have a disease. You would only be found unfit if you did something to the kids that is inappropriate or can't take care of them.

Presumably you have a doctor treating you. What would he say if he were to testify? If he'd say you are doing awesome and you are a great mother and are brave for facing this disease, then get him to write a report stating that. Show it to the court. If not, don't.

You should also have an attorney at this stage if you don't have one already. It'll cost a few thousand dollars no doubt, but your kids are worth it. You can make some kind of payment plan with the attorney. They'll know how to argue this in court.

I can't tell you not to worry, but you can rest assured that this is a cheap shot that the courts may look into, but ultimately your ex will need a lot more than that to change the current situation.

Answer 3

I'm curious, when you agreed to no child support, did he sign off on his parental rights? If so he has no rights to the children and a court wouldn't look kindly on a father that terminated his parental rights. Hopefully you didn't do anything with him on a handshake. I do see where you have sole custody. Is that both sole physical and sole legal custody though? Don't worry about his saying your unfit. He's not a doctor and he has to have a professionl prove to a court that your and unfit parent. He's blowing a lot of smoke trying to scare you. He can cause a lot of grief making a fight though. Those kinds usually do. Just stand your ground and if you need a lawyer, get advice on who the best is. You want the best. In california, a child can decide at age 12 whom he wants to live with. Often anymore a court likes to see the children have time with both parents. But they look at a lot of things. My very best advice is to have a good lawyer on hand. You can often speak to a lawyer at no cost for an initial consultation. After talking to one and laying things out, you'll know more about where you stand. Even if you had to pay $200 just to talk to one once it would be well worth it. Down the road if you need him, you'll know where he's at and what the cost is going to be to you. I would say your 15 year old isn't an issue. That one is old enough to speak for themself. However, make sure about your 11 year old. Custody fights are hard on the children and hard on you. I hope things work out ok for you. Best wishes to you.

Answer 4

I would not worry to much I know you are under stress but the fact that he just wants custody only because he has to pay will show and come out in court. Also I think that both kids can decide where they want to live. Don't worry about it everything will work out and in the end he will have to pay. Good luck with everything and best wishes on the wedding.

Answer 5

I too am bi-polar and have raised a fine well adjusted son ..thank God.
your Ex doesn't have a leg to stand on ..your kids are old enough to choose where they live in the first place. Second, the judge will look at his record with the signing the kids over to you IF he didn't have to keep them up...and your Ex is a bum

I do understand your panic...at first logic doesn't kick in.
But you seriously don't have anything to worry about.

He can't get your kids. But I know you will be scared..until you hear the judge rule in your favor...take a deep breath and trust.
Pray and have faith. My prayers are with you. This would have been my worst nightmare.

Answer 6

well his claim about "unfit' just went out the door, if you're getting married.

even though he's threatened, its up to the judge to decide anyway.