I'm just throwing this out there, and it's probably too practical of an idea, but that's why I like it. When we apply for a job, we have to be interviewed, take tests, sometimes physicals, polygraph tests--to make sure we qualify for the job, and all just to be able to earn a living. When we become someone's mate (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, whatever) it's probably the most important job we will ever perform in our lives, yet we don't interview each other to make sure we are compatible and qualified to be someone's partner for life. We think too much with our hearts and not enough with our heads, and base our acceptance on physical attraction, when that is usually the easiest and most obvious factor. Just think of how much time, effort, tears, fears, and money we could save if we would be a little more practical in our approach to relationships, especially if we were looking for a marriage partner. And please don't attack me for not being romantic, because I'm very much so.
2007-01-21 18:27:51 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know I have been thinking this very same thing..I was taught that this behavior was not morel but it could have saved me a couple of divorces had I done this....It may sound cold but I get your drift and it would be a great idea,however I doubt that anyone will go for it....It does not hurt to find out all these things before marriage,but when you are dating and inlust you don,t want to think anything bad for fear you might not win the award,know what I mean?It would be nice to take test,quizzes ,etc to find out more about the person....They have a web site now its eHarmony.Com....they ask hundreds of questions about how you feel,what you like ,what you think of this and that and they match you up with someone that has the same type personality,so It might just be a fine plan....
2007-01-22 04:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by slickcut 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you are testing somebody for job your mind is clear and you can make deceisions based on facts that are given to you in resume and based on results of test, but when you are in love, it's like interviewing somebody for job while being drunk.
Only chance of making right deceision and carrying out all necessary tests and interviews while connecting your life to somebody is in case when there is an arranged marriage, your mind is clear, you have no attachements to that person and you can decide wether or not he/she is suitable for you.
But are you sure you want to spend your whole life with person that you are not in love with? I would still take a chance, I would prefer to make a mistake, maybe some day I'll find out that this is not the person I have to be with and divorce, but still at the end of my life I will have "no regrets" because I lived a full life, I made my own mistakes, I felt, I cried, I loved....
There is no full life without mistakes, than it's not a life it's existance!
2007-01-22 03:21:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to agree with you to a certain extent.
I don't think the most important job in a persons life is someones mate though, the most important job to me is someones parent. But that is another topic.
I think you don't truly know someone by how well they interview, experience is the key and potential couples need to have that experience in dating and living together and just being before they jump into marriage.
2007-01-22 03:22:33 · answer #3 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any numbers on the failure rate for arranged marriages. . .I am serrious. I know there are societies even in the good ol' US of A that still prefer arranged marriages. I don't think the new movement to psychological hookups will fare any better than just plain lust like is engaged in todays society. People are known to a) change over time, and b) outright lie on surveys, and to themselves. Is there really any good way to find someone who will "stick it out" through good times and bad?
2007-01-22 02:59:48 · answer #4 · answered by PartyTime 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah -no kidding. I think everyone should have to take a personality compatibility test and have at LEAST 3 hours of premarital counsoling before they can get a marriage lisence. At least there'd be something concrete to think about...
2007-01-22 02:43:15 · answer #5 · answered by musicmommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds good. Unfortunately most of us go for that initial spark and then try to sort the rest out later. Maybe that's why I always end up with losers.
2007-01-22 03:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my hubby and i spent ages talking and going over what we believe in and what we're against. both of us figured it wasn't any use even trying to get involved if we had differing agendas so to speak. luckily we're very much compatible.
too many people fly into things without looking ahead, like driving down a road blindfolded, you need to slow down and look before you leap when it comes to marriage.
2007-01-22 03:06:06 · answer #7 · answered by nanabooboo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a plausible idea. I would like to see young couples go into counseling BEFORE they tie the knot.........rather than AFTER. But try to tell anyone that, who thinks they're perfectly mated.
2007-01-22 02:32:31 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
50-50
2007-01-22 02:31:16 · answer #9 · answered by young wifey~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got it. Make people take a course and a final exam.
2007-01-22 08:02:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋