Would you consider this cheating? Did I do the right thing?

Question

Ok so I had been dating this girl for 4 years. At one point we lived together for about 2 years. Well things started getting a little rocky and we broke up for 2 days. This was about a year ago. 6 mpnths ago, I found out from a friend that while were broken up in these 2 days, she had sex with my good friend in the living room of our home while I was sleeping in the bedroom. This was the same guy who told me about it. So, I flipped out and kicked her to the curb for about 3 months. Later, I reconsidered, since we were technically not together at the time, and took her back again. Well, 3 weeks ago, I found out that she had slept with another one of my friends while were broken up for the 3 month period. Once again, I flipped out and tossed her. I have not spoken to her since and am ignoring all of her messages. My question is this; Do I have the right to feel betrayed by her if we weren't together? And did I do the right thing?

Answer 1

well it sounds like you did what i would do. i mean, how's she ever going to be trusted if she can't keep her legs closed for 2 days?
would if one day you have to leave for business or a family gathering and she can't come along? is she going to be cheating on you then? you'll be afraid 24/7 that she is.
she sounds like she can't cope with her own insecurity issues and can't be alone for a bit, she needs constant reassurance and it's a problem. people like this need serious help, like therapy. she needs to be remined (especially when neglected) that she's still attractive and wanted by men. her self esteem is low, from what i can see, and that causes people to disrespect themselves and the people around them like this. be glad you rid of her parasitic ways and that you don't have to worry about whether or not she's with someone else. you sound like a very level headed guy, i'm sure you'll have no problem finding a great girl that will respect you in no time.

Answer 2

Well it wasn't cheating but then you have to wonder what she is thinking by doing it so fast after being broken up for two days, like the first time. Also what is she thinking about doing this with your friend? She must of had those thoughts before hand.
I would have to say, even as a woman, you did the right thing. Someone that is going to jump in the sack with someone else so quick and a friend at that isn't worth your time.

Answer 3

Get over her and move on man. She isn't all that in to you if she is willing to sleep with someone else within 48 hours of being broken up with you. That should have told you something right then and there. That should also tell you what kind of friend you have if he is willing to screw your so called ex right on the living room floor just a few feet away from your bedroom while you are sleeping. Says alot about her too wouldn't you say?

Answer 4

You were not together at the time so it isn't cheating. As for the time it took her to sleep with someone else big deal. people handle things differently. Would you have felt better if she had been all down and out about the break up? At the end of the day sex is sex and she had sex she didn't fall in love with anybody but you.

Answer 5

It's not cheating because technically you had broken up, but I can understand the emotional betrayal you felt. The thing is though, aren't you glad the separation showed you her true colors? Like evertime you break up with her she wastes no time in screwing another man. Would you want to build a future with someone like that???

You did the right thing in kicking her to the curb. Now let her stay there and move on.

Answer 6

Yes, you do have every reason to feel betrayed, but rather than put the blame on your ex-girlfriend, you should put the blame on your friends. How good of friends are they if they sleep with someone they knew you cared about. I think your ex-girlfriend is really not that serious about you and does not care about you as much as you think she might. If she did, she couldn't sleep with your friends if she really respected and loved you. You've done the right thing. It's hard, really hard. I know I just went through a terribly painful breakup myself, but I'll tell you it is very empowering once you gain your self-confidence and self-esteem back. You're on the right path. I wouldn't worry about technicalities of what your relationship was categorized at the time. Kick her to the curb and find someone who will really value and love you. You're worth it!

Answer 7

Yes you have the right to feel betrayed by her even if you and her weren't together. I split from my husband for about 31/2 mnths and i had slept with another guy and later i found out that he had slept with another woman and that it wasn't the first time. Even though we were seperated i feel guilty and ashamed. She shouldv'e told you herself rather than taking the chance of you hearing it from you friend that she had slept with. It's always worse hearing it from someone else. As the saying goes once a cheater always a cheater.

Answer 8

technically you weren't together, and some women (and some men) don't like being alone, and seek emotional comfort (mostly expressed through sex) with another person- even though they dont want the other person..
If she has never slept with someone while with you, then what is the problem? Is your ego so large that you think when you are broken up, she should pine away for you and not respond when men pay her attention?
Have you slept with anyone in those times? If yes- thats a double standard to be angry at her; if no, why not? didnt feel like another woman? or did no one respond?
Don't be ego centric, and act fairly :)

Answer 9

I think you absolutely did the right thing. Technically, you werent together, but come on !! 2 friends she slept with !!?? can she not at least find someone outside your group of people ?? looks like she wouldve learned the first time you dumped her. she could have given it time to at least let the relationship turn cold, but 2 days ? i would feel betrayed by your friends also. exes are usually off limits. DO NOT take her back, you would be the laughing stock of town. who wants leftovers and the thought of her getting with them would disgust me !!

Answer 10

Even though yes you are right, technically you weren't together so what she did wasn't cheating - the chick is obviously a skank for sleeping with two of your friends while you guys were on the outs.