well, me and my wife are having problems.
first problem is that she feels that i don't love her anymore, which is not true and i cant make her understand that. what my problems are is stress, i have been having to deal with my exwife in court for the past 4 weeks, and still have to go back again next week.
second is money, she is upset that we dont go out and do anything together any more, unfortunatly we are not financialy stable as of now. we went from having what i call a good amount of cash to struggling to pay the bills week to week, which is mostly my fault because i am paying tons of lawyer fees, and on top of that i have a nine thousand dollar dental bill to pay off, thats not mentioning the credit cards. anyways i love her and want to make her happy, however i am failing miserbaly at it, i cant keep my mind off of everything else going on....any suggestions on how i could better this situation????
2007-01-21 17:29:34 · 7 answers · asked by bshelby2121 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop telling her that you love her and show her that you love her! You may be stressed, tired, overwhelmed, and underpaid, but you have a wife that you obviously love. You must make your marriage the priority over exmarriage problems, work, dental bills, and credit card debt. Put time and energy into your marriage or everything else will crumble too! Do things for her that you did when you were dating (the free things or cost effective alternatives)! She fell in love with you for a reason and she knew you loved her too, spark that flame again!
2007-01-21 17:49:25 · answer #1 · answered by Nurse Jacqui 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both stressing out. You need to sit down and talk about what is going on. You need to let her know that you love her and you are both going thru a tough time. Once things settle down things will get better. Any long term marriage has gone thru many ups and downs. Getting thru the trials and tribulations together is what makes your marriage stronger. You need to be there for each other. Good Luck!
2007-01-22 01:55:11 · answer #2 · answered by Say What? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her 1 rose and put a little card with and say, This is just because. I sure hope the other things settle down for you soon.
2007-01-22 01:48:22 · answer #3 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Eric, it's good that your care enough to reach out for some advise. I can tell by your writting, that she is getting the message that she is playing 2nd fiddle to the bills. You are sending her the message that , "as soon as we get the finances straightened out, we can get our relationship straightened out." She is the most important thing in your life and she needs to feel that way. The best and shortest answer I can give you is to get to a marriage counselor or pastor that does marriage counseling. They will give you advise as to what to do. Mean while, she does not care about your words when you say, "I love you". She needs to experience it with your actions. It wont take much, but find ways to make her feel like she is the most important thing in your life. If you wanted to buy a tool, or play golf etc, I'm sure you would find the money. So find a way to get money to do something with her. Also, leave a note in her coffee cup, or on her pillow or in her car. Do something around the house without her asking you to do it. Sit on the couch and watch amovie that "she" likes, without any expactations of sex. Rub her feet. Call her on your lunch break and tell her how much you appreciate all she does around the house. There is a million things you can do. A counselor can help you guys hold it together while you are getting thru the rough times. Believe me, there will be more rough times. You need to learn how to handle things together. Get on the same team. Let her know everything is going to be O.k.Possibly consolidate your bills which will make for a lower monthly payment. She wants to feel special and appreciated. Show it by your actions, not by your words. Hope this helps.
2007-01-22 01:54:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may just be immature and selfish. Try to spend quality time with her. Give her a foot rub. Explain that you have to conserve money so she shouldn't expect to go out on the town right now. If she is an adult she should understand what you are going through.
2007-01-22 01:34:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
communication is the key to any marriage. Just talk to her and I think that she would understand that you truly love her and that everyone goes though there ups and downs.
2007-01-22 01:34:46 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's a easy solution, let her pay your legal fees and balance the books and pay the bills then she'd be stressed out and miserable too! I guarantee she'd be understanding though after that!
2007-01-22 01:33:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋