I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ABOUT 9 YEARS ANE I HAVE 5 KIDS AND I CAN'T TRUST MY HUSBAND. HE HAS NOT CHEATED IN 2.5 YEARS BUT I CANT FIND IT IN ME TO FORGIVE AND TRUST HIM. ANY IDEAS ON HOW TO GET OVER THIS SPEED BUMP????????????????????
2007-01-21 17:16:59 · 12 answers · asked by princessbrandy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sorry honey trust is earned ...and he screwed that up..personally i couldnt deal with it and got divorced
2007-01-21 17:21:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that trust is earned...you need to tell your hubby that you are having a hard time trusting him again and that you haven't completely forgiven the indiscretion(s). He is lucky to be married to a woman who gave him 9 years of her life and 5 kids and who took him back after he cheated...
maybe you should go for some counselling (even if it is without him) to help you cope with this.
I don't know if I could stay if I couldn't get over it. Remember that this is your choice to stay and work on things, so if this choice isn't working, you always have the option to leave.
I commend you for trying to work this out, but in the end, if you can't trust him then I don't think there is much to stay for.
I wish you all the best. Good Luck.
2007-01-22 01:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by michellecdnd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you forgive you it doesn't make it right. In my opinion, that behaviour should not be rewarded, but I understand you did for your kids. Don't let your husbands behavior speak for the rest of us guys. Women cheat also or will sleep with a guy even if they are married, so don't go giving guys such a bad wrap. Anyways, good luck to you and your children.
2007-01-22 01:24:20 · answer #3 · answered by Sir Alex Awesome Valentine, Esq. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the question is why did he cheat before? Did he feel unappreciated? Where you feeling unappreciated and resenting him for it? Usually when people cheat, its not actually about sex.. its looking for love/acceptance... (but not always- sometimes people are just into sex)
If your relationship was strained and he acted badly and strayed doesnt make it right; but doesnt mean he can't be trusted- it really depends on what his motivation for straying was- if you are satisfied he wont have the same motivation again, you dont have to forgive him, just try not to resent him (because that resentment/anager is what could cause it again, unless the issue is resolved).
2007-01-22 01:31:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well trust is a major factor in a relationship and if you don't have that in your relationship, then you don't have nothing at all. Why don't you try taking a break from him and take time for yourself away from all this. If you truely want to be together you will both find eachother again. And maybe this time it might be different, because you both know how much eachother means to one another.
2007-01-22 01:27:58 · answer #5 · answered by Chloe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you can't forgive and trust...then nobody else can
do it for you. I assume you yourself have done nothing
that needs forgiveness. It looks like to me that you've
committed yourself to sticking with him and if that's so,
you've got two choices...be miserable the rest of your
marriage, or start the rest of your marriage fresh. What's
past is past....why do you think a rear view mirror is so
small and the windshield is so big - look forward not backward!
2007-01-22 01:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by Northwest Womps 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not all us men are like that I certainly am not .As for trusting him again that just takes time there is no quick fix like an alcoholic once they start it is hard to stop .If all 5 kids are his he can't use not enough sex as an excuse therefore it is in his mentality ,he either has no self control or needs to prove to himself women still find him attrative.
2007-01-22 01:29:58 · answer #7 · answered by john h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce...get child support...do drugs and alcohol steady for awhile. Dont dare go looking for new love for at least five to ten years after that otherwise you'll just get what you left. You should have left him a long time ago. Follow these instructions and try to have a life making yourself happy before you worry about some guy again.
2007-01-22 01:29:44 · answer #8 · answered by Lance Carthen 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
either marriage counseling or leave. Those are your options. If neither then you will continue to be misery.
You don't have a marriage or relationship without trust and communication.
2007-01-22 03:34:00 · answer #9 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am discasted with men too.They are a poor excuse of a human being.They only know how to stuff themselves and have sex.Worthless pigs.
2007-01-22 01:22:53 · answer #10 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So from the single example of your husband, it's "Most Men"?
2007-01-22 01:28:28 · answer #11 · answered by Holden 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋