Do you love your spouse?

Question

I just look at all the married couples I know and it doesn't seem like they love each other at all. Divorces are very common among them among other things. I want to get married and have a fantastic wife, a fantastic marriage and be a great husband. It just seems to me like this is impossible. I mean, I know things like fights are always going to happen, but it seems like spouses don't even care about each other...am I wrong? Do you care about your spouse?

Answer 1

I do love my husband and yes I am also in love with him, there is a difference.

Answer 2

Whoa! You seem to have set your expectations a bit high here.
I truly love my husband.. I tell him that's the only reason we are together when we are fighting because he can make me a crazy person sometimes.

But I don't ever expect him to be the perfect anything. I don't expect my marriage to be perfect either.

All I expect is he be the best hubby to me , and father to our kids that he can be. If he's happy we are all happy. And that's how we go about things at our house. He tells me the same. If I'm happy then he's happy. It takes a lot of work to maintain a marriage and a family and you can only expect that you will both do the best you can in every situation. Sometimes you'll be the strong one, sometimes she will. It's give and take, ups and downs, everyday kinda things that will shape what kind of marriage you'll have and how you handle things together.

It's easy to argue, it's hard to admit you're wrong and hard to make-up sometimes too. But when you know you love that person even w

When you argue, then the arguing isn't that important.

Before my father died he told my husband this" when you are having a fight with my daughter ask yourself this: do you want to be Right or do you want to be Happy?". What he meant was think about your side of the arguement. Is the topic really that important or are you just arguing your side just to have a side? Sometimes it's easier to step back and ask if the subject is really that important to you or her. Then make a decision or let it go.

I come from a long line of life long, death do they part marriages and they have been a great example to me of how to make things in life livable even when it's easier to give up.

Be happy, be positive that you will be a great husband and just be the best person you can be. Everything else will work out.

Answer 3

I love my husband more than I have ever loved anyone in past relationships. The most important thing is finding someone that shares the same values. Marriage is working together as a team. I have found my soul-mate and I love him more each day. Many times people rush into a relationship before the truly know each other and then when the reality of the relationship evolves they do not know how to react. Take your time, know what qualities are important and good luck.

Answer 4

I absolutely adore my husband! We have been married for 5 years and together for over 8! We have a beautiful child, fulfilling careers, and a lovely home. Happy marriages do exist. But to warn you, love is not enough. It takes commitment and hard work. A happy marriage takes a difficult balancing act and setting priorities. Making your spouse your number two priority (second only to God) is an absolute must! They must come before children, extended family, work, and everything else that is important to you. Good marriages are out there, but they don't just happen on their own, people work very hard to build them from the ground up!

Answer 5

Married for 10 years and dated for 8 years prior to marriage. I love my husband dearly and I don't doubt he loves me. Find someone with your same values and morals. Everything else will get into place. You can compromise just about anything, but when it comes to compromising your values, well you can do it only for so long. Right now my husband is on the computer in the living room and I'm in the bedroom answering your questions! We don't have to be holding hands all the time. We give each other space. Take your time choosing. Talk allot about what you want. Allot. Don't leave room for surprises. Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

i know what you mean, back in the day, once they got married thats the way it stayed, i have no idea why people love so easy and hate so easy, i think that if you really find the one that you really love then you should be able to work things out. Mind you i also think that now-a-days there is so much that you are and arent allowed to do, such as violence, i dont think that anyone would just say that they got pounded by their husbands back in the day it was too embrassing but now you can charge them. But i really do care and love my spouse and i am very happy to have found him...

Answer 7

Oh, I love my husband like crazy! Married 12 years and still very much in love. We have found the secret! ALWAYS prefer you spouse over yourself, and if both of you do that, you WILL have a wonderful marriage. We rarely ever argue, and never fight!

Answer 8

Yes, I love my spouse. Don't always LIKE her, but I do love her.

I think you need to be realistic about the sustainability of 'deep, romantic love' the way the Voctorians trained us to believe in. It is a great way to get together, makes th ebond strong.

But you have to realize that butterflies and pounding hearts give way to day-to-day co-existence. the real heavy lifting of a relationship is how you can support each other as frinds and team membes. Love (wanting to be with someone, good outweighing bad, and realizing this is the partner you WANT, not NEED) and respect (accepting theri differences and being proud of their strengths) are different from 'fluttery stomach' love, which we are trained to demand every day of our married life until death us do part, AMEN! (Can I get an AMEN! brothers ands sistas?)

Adult love is different from romantic love. It's as simple as that. hallmark card vs. forgiving a huge mistake and moving on.

Adult love is hard, often not pretty, often not really obvious. Most of the couples you see are probably not 'in love' anymore (a vairly teenage distinction when you come to thnik of it) but are rather in a deeply held, flawed, useful but not wholly satisfactory, hard-worked-on bond, in many cases for life. Is it love - probably.

Answer 9

I care very much about my spouse, despite the difficulites we've had along the way in our 30 years of marriage. I respect him now, and I don't think I even gave that a thought 25 years ago, .alot of things I didn't realize 25 years ago, I realize now. and it's great.

Answer 10

I'm very much in love with my husband. We argue and fight, but we also work things out. I don't believe in divorce unless infidelity is involved.