How do you cope with jealousy? My best friend since we were 10(we're 25 now) is married and expecting her second child. Every other friend I have is already in a serious relationship and they all have kids and I feel like I'm behind the curve. Their lives are all mortgages and gymnastics and I want all that so badly but I have yet to find it. So how can I keep from feeling so bitter all the time? I should be happy she has another baby on the way but sometimes I just wanna roll my eyes and tell her to go away and leave me to mope. What should I do?
2007-01-21 17:03:37 · 13 answers · asked by BLOCK*HEAD*FOR*LIFE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
First of all, stop thinking that you are behind or what not. Your time to get married and have kids will come, when it comes. Just try not to worry about it, or about 'being behind.' There aren't any rules that say you have to get married by a certain age. My dads friend didn't get married until he was well into his 50s. And his wife was just a couple years younger. Love and marriage don't have any age limits! As to mortgages and such, while children can be a blessing, just think of the good side. Or rather, the great side. You don't have to wake up to change a stinky diaper, right? Enjoy your life now. Enjoy it and embrace it. Maybe take a vacation, or a little trip by yourself, away from your friend and her children. Or as other people said, join a club and meet new people. Just try not to worry about being behind or about having to feel happy for your friend. There's always a brighter side, just gotta find it. =]
2007-01-21 17:27:09 · answer #1 · answered by dookiedookiepooo11 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let marrieds hang with marrieds and singles hang with singles. It is a different world.
Maybe you should really step into her world for a while. Find out the cost of mortgages on top of car payments and insurance. The cost of diapers, baby food, clothes and doctor visits. It is hard work. It is 24/7. I trashes your hormones so you are never the same person again.
Of course you will still want these things, but you need to want them for the right reason. When you are in love and can nurture a family with two caring parents and some resources to get it off on the right foot.
Jealousy is not a healthy place to be. It shows that you are insecure and not able to celebrate someone's happiness.
Take a personal inventory. Find something in your life that could benefit from your mothering nesting instincts. Mentor a neice or nephew and help with homework. Take in someone's laundry or drive an elderly person to the doctor.
Look at what you DO have rather than what you don't have.
2007-01-22 01:35:37 · answer #2 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is such a hardship to battle. The only thing I suggest is for you to make the best of your life. I mean get a degree, a career, so that YOU could feel better about an accomplishment. Having a family or a marriage is the "American Dream", but you can find something else to fulfill that dream which is education or any leisure activities. Keep yourself busy, and fill your life with many positive things and you will prosper!
2007-01-22 01:10:35 · answer #3 · answered by Chloe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
and on the other page there is the letter from the pregnant lady saying how fed up she is with another child and a mortgage that is impossible and why does she get so jealous of her single friend who doesn't have a responsibility to worry about ,she is free to fly to Paris on Monday if she wants to, and all she wants do is stay at home and mope but her husband and children do not allow her that luxury
2007-01-22 01:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take up ballroom dancing. But take it at the local community center or junior college - not at a hard sell like Arthur Murray. You will meet interesting guys who are great dancers. Most will be too old for you. But eventually you will meet a cool guy of appropriate age. And in the meantime you will learn to dance! You'll have so much fun dancing you'll forget about moping.
2007-01-22 01:09:50 · answer #5 · answered by HomeSweetSiliconValley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand you being depressed. I dont think you are not happy for your friends, it just makes you feel out of place because they have what you want so badly. So, what to do.....join clubs, start changing your life like going places where you can meet someone...and then when you do, you will have everything they have...just give it a try. There are many social groups that you can get involved in...best place to meet people.
2007-01-22 01:07:22 · answer #6 · answered by natashainka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
same story here..
i try to not think about it so much.. of course i get jealous.. when i hear about their 'great news'.. but moping and being bitter about that isn't gonna help at all..
try to think positive that the best man will come around eventually.. look for the bright side of all the things you have.. your family, your friends, your job, your luck...
well, you can't have what you like, but you can like what you have, right???
Good luck :)
2007-01-22 01:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by curlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same exact way. Well, not exactly but it's similar. All my friends are in relationships and I'm wondering when it's going to be my turn to be in a relationship.
2007-01-22 01:08:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can not have kids, so Ive had to watch all my friends have there family's. But i must say at first i use to get jealous . Now I'm happy for them. I still have my life and get to babysit often. Look at what you have,,, Friends and enjoy them......
2007-01-22 01:10:26 · answer #9 · answered by Aussie_chick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be happy for her, it would be easy if she and you are really friends, We have several acquaintances in life but very few true friends
2007-01-22 01:43:28 · answer #10 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋