I've been merried almost 4 years, i had a baby year ago and he still caling me fat, i am 129lb and i don't look fat to myself and we always have to end up fighting, he wants me to look like model from Magazin and it's gone too far. I don't wanna divorce just because of that but i would like to know how to talk to him without fight, to accept me for who i am?????
2007-01-21 16:34:54 · 35 answers · asked by D_na 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well when i had my baby i was 193lb and i lose lot of waight now i am 129 but before i have baby i was 120lb no metter how i waigh he'll find way to tell me something about me is wrong (big, fat).
2007-01-21 17:16:35 · update #1
Tell him if he loves you he should love you for who you are and respect you no matter what
2007-01-21 16:38:12 · answer #1 · answered by Waythere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he always been this mean? Sounds to me like he's just spoiling for a fight. Is he having an affair? No respecting man would say that(repeatedly) to the woman he loves. You might want to at least look into that the divorce and don't forget the child support!!
2007-01-21 16:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by jessiclause 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question brought up sad memories for me. When I was married I experienced what you wrote of. I was married 23 years, now peacefully divorced 5 years . . . And, when I go back and look at photos of myself during the time he was calling me ' fat' I am just stunned because I looked pretty, fit and attractive in those photos...yet when he said those things to me I felt unattractive. Those models in those magazines have personal stylists, housekeepers, drivers and most don't have children to focus on and tend to.
Well, that was then, today I am still attractive and fit and have a much happier heart and mind and have three kids who are a joy to me.
I wish you well with your conversations with your husband. Words have real 'weight' to them just as a stone.
2007-01-21 16:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by onelight 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people just enjoy a good argument, insults could be his turn on, mixed signals or maybe it is just his less then subtle way of commenting on your weight. Regardless way there's a simple way to offset this, next im he does it act like "fat" is a complement, like being pudgy is the IN thing right now, you might get a little closer to the bottom of the problem.
2007-01-21 18:08:18 · answer #4 · answered by Ozz B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time he tells you your fat...tell him his Mr. Happy is small! as a matter of fact..you read in a magazine that, he is below the national average....then tell him they sell pumps for that and have some operations for it too...if he loved you he would at least try to get to the national average...if he can't, then you'll accept him with his obvious handicaps...so he should accept you.
That will make his day...I am sure.
But if this is the way he treats the Mother of his child..start looking to replace him...he has no respect for you.
2007-01-21 16:45:44 · answer #5 · answered by facefind 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, just remind him that you are the mother of his child and that the model he sees in that magazine would not even look his way, forget about having his kids! I think your husband is being irrational and maybe you should just explain to him that you're not fat and even of you were, he should love you the way you are. Drop a subtle hint maybe, that maybe you should ask some other guy and see what he says.
2007-01-21 16:43:05 · answer #6 · answered by green_baby_dragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His behavior is rude and disrespectful. You need to sit him down and tell him that he is hurting you with his criticism. Tell him that you are happy with your body and you want him to accept you for who you are and how you look. I think 129 lbs is an excellent weight after having a baby. He is ruining your self esteem. It may end up requiring marriage counseling but he will need to be a willing participant.
2007-01-21 16:50:33 · answer #7 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you aren't fat at your current weight, but how tall are you? If you are 6ft tall then I would say you are to skinny, but if you are 5ft tall then you may actually look kind of chubby. Regardless of your height your hubby should be commending you on how much weight you have lost and how fantastic you look. If the man really loves you then your weight shouldn't really even be an issue. It sounds to me like he needs a little help getting over his case of prickitis.
2007-01-22 00:37:48 · answer #8 · answered by truckerman96 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him to go to hell. I was 110 before i had kids and now i am 150.If my husband said anything about my weight i would tell him to kiss my a$$. Don't let him bring you down You are beautiful the way you are you are a mom not a skinny model.
2007-01-21 17:30:28 · answer #9 · answered by princessbrandy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Him wanting you to be in great shape isn't exactly a bad thing, but he could be a bit more tactful in how he tells you. One should always strive to be in as good a shape as they can. Not only is it great health-wise, but it works wonders for your self esteem. Tell him to be a bit more encouraging instead of just calling you fat. Still, 129 pounds is not exactly plumper weight. Just try to keep yourself in the best shape possible and if he's not happy with that tell him to deal with it.
2007-01-21 16:47:45 · answer #10 · answered by tropicanaman2 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What weight were you before? I agree some women gain 'baby weight' then never want to lose it. But you don't sound big.
Everyone here will say "screw him". But remember, marriage is a compromise. My suggestion is you both get gym memberships. If he wants you to tone up, he should be willing to tone up as well. It works for both of you in the end as you get healthier and look better for each other.
2007-01-21 16:40:35 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋