I'm pregnant and my husband thinks it would be a good idea if I got an abortion..but I'm totally against abortions!! He says that we wouldn't be able to support the new baby....what do I do? I want to make him happy but I'm not cool with washing my hands clean of a child...
2007-01-21 16:15:45 · 26 answers · asked by Danielle 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Make an appointment with a financial counselor. If your husband's only reason against having a child is the financial aspect, then you should seek expert financial advice to confirm or refute this. And an abortion should not be chosen simply to avoid a financial burden. With all due respect, you and he should have thought of that first.
Adoption, prearranged before birth, is definitely an option. If you decide to go this route, speak to both your OBGYN and a lawyer to make sure you are protected, legally & financially.
2007-01-21 16:26:42 · answer #1 · answered by Devil Dog '73 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both sit down and discuss ways to improve your financial situation so you can afford the baby. Two adults can find a way to support a child.
Get job training to improve your income potential....whether it be night school classes, college courses, or trade school. Cut back on luxuries.
Married or not, you shouldn't direct your choices towards what will make him happy. Make yourself happy first. You are the most important factor in this equation...and when the baby comes along, your second, and he's third. If you can't accept that, then you might not want to have this baby for more reasons other than not being able to support it.
I'm against abortions, but I have no right to tell you that you have to be against them too. I'm just as much against putting a child up for adoption. I guess that's because I could never get pregnant and then not want my baby. But not everyone feels that way.
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who wouldn't want to find a way to support a child?
Why are you against abortion?
Have you considered adoption?
Do you WANT a baby?
Just some questions for you to think about.
2007-01-21 16:28:03 · answer #2 · answered by Madre 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too was in a similar situation over a year ago. But it was my parents that didn't want me to keep the baby! I got pregnant at age 22 and my parents were trying to get me to get an abortion. I am totally against abortions and refused. They said I was not able to take care of a child. Now she is their whole world, they would do anything for my daughter. I personally think you both should talk about this. He needs to understand that you dont want to get an abortion. People have to step up and deal with what comes at them in life. I'm sorry but thats just my opinion. I hope this helps with a little bit of your decision. Don't get an abortion, just think of that babies tiny little fingers and toes and baby giggles. I was looking at a brochure about how they do abortions and it looks and sounds awful! I'm sure there is plenty of people that care for you enough to help as much as they can. I didn't think that we would be able to support a baby, but we do our best. And we are doing just fine. Being Pregnant for me was the best experience ever, if I could I would be pregnant ALL the time! LOL Giving birth is even better. When you make your decision e mail me and let me know. K
2007-01-21 16:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,
even though he has some rights to the baby, at this very moment he doesn't have any rights to the unborn. so the abortion is all up to you. he will be mad if he truly did not want a child. but he doesn't have to deal with the depression you Will go through or the wondering if you did the right thing, or wondering what the child would have looked like. he just has to say have an abortion. he doesn't have to go through anything after its all over just . he should have worn a glove to make sure that the baby was not conceived . its not all the woman's job anymore. he has to do his part also.
2007-01-21 16:28:26 · answer #4 · answered by Sonya K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are couples out there that can't have kids and would love to give that baby a loving warm home and they will have the money to support it they always make sure of that at the adoption agency, I wouldnt get an abortion personally I think its murder, But thats just my opinion you could always get on public assistance and keep the baby which ever you choose adoption or abortion you are putting your self at risk for depression and feeling empty!
hope you make the right choice for you and the baby!
Good luck I will pray for you!
2007-01-21 16:24:51 · answer #5 · answered by Just_me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cant afford the baby I'm sure there is a couple out there that really wants to have one and can afford it. Do not get an abortion just for him, it will seriously traumatize you. Do you want to make him happy by making yourself miserable? That will not strengthen your relationship and you would probably end up resenting him. You got pregnant for a reason, whether it was meant for you to keep or to bless another couple. Good Luck and congratulations!
2007-01-21 16:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by shugarmagnolia420 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are against abortions, it will be the worst decision you have ever made. People think that it is no big deal, but it really is a big deal. Women deal with abortion very uniquely.Some women are fine with the decision and can move on with their life, but many think about it everyday and carry the burden of guilt with them always. You should definitely find a counselor that is open to abortion and adoption to talk about your options- and make sure your husband goes with you... don't let him isolate you and make you deal with this on your own.
2007-01-21 16:26:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be willing to stand up for what you believe in, no matter who it is that's opposing it. Even if it is your husband. If you kill this baby (I assume that's the view you have of abortion since you are against it), don't you think you will resent him for the rest of your life anyway? Is he worth feeling that pain for the rest of your life, and resenting him for the rest of your relationship? If you think he may have a point as far as financial instability it might be in the baby's best interest to look at adoption, but that is your choice. Many couples really "can't" afford a baby, but find a way.... I know we did.
2007-01-21 16:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your against abortion then dont abort it.
Keep the baby and if your husband doesnt like it then to bad. He helped create it and needs to deal with it like a man. Many poeple have babies when they cant really afford it but they manage to get by.
Its your body and your choice, so do what you want and dont let him pressure you into abortion.
If you dont want to abort but you dont think you could handle or afford to keep it then you need to think about adoption.
Good Luck with whatever you decide.
2007-01-21 18:31:38 · answer #9 · answered by Monkey Magic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If neither of you can support a new baby, why not have the baby and give it up for adoption. There are so many childless couples who could give your baby a wonderful life. Please don't have an abortion. You will never be able to forgive yourself for the rest of your life. Do what is right for your baby.
2007-01-21 16:21:17 · answer #10 · answered by Tenn Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋