i am divorced and i have custody my ex has visitation,what rights do i have if she dont want to go to his home

Question

i was married to my kids dad for 19 years,he was verbal.mental.and emotional abusive,we have 2 kids 1 ,19,the other 11.i have sole custody he has summer visitation,she dont want to go,but he threatened me he would fight for custody if i dont send her,she is so confused and we dont know what steps to take to keep him from doing that as well as rights that i have ,he has always frightened me,and is a non beliver of christ and his girlfriend practices wicca,and we are christians i fear for my daughters ,well being around him,and i am not well off to afford all this fighting with lawyrs and such ,any advice oor steps to help would be appreciated

Answer 1

talk to ur lawyer or legal advisor

Answer 2

Until you go to court, the child will have to go for the visits. Those are court orders, and you will be held in comtempt for disobeying a judge's orders.

The religion issue will not even be heard, as it doesn't pertain to anything. I am atheist, and my ex is a christian. We both spend time with our children.

Also, was any of this abuse ever reported. It will be hard after the fact to approve any of this. If you didn't say anthing when the original orders were done, they will want to know why none of this was mentioned.

You should send your child to her fathers. Being around someone of a different religion will be a good thing. What do you think she will encounter in college, and the rest of the world when she is on her own. She doesn' t have to participate. But, she should learn to at least show people respect, and allow them to practice their beliefs.

Answer 3

When there is custody at stake, most judges will take the child's wishes into consideration. This of course depends on their age, and at 11 I think your daughter is old enough to have a say in this. Perhaps if you stand up to your ex you will find that he is just talking big, but then again if you deny visitation he may go to court and have you charged with contempt of court and that isn't good.
I would look in the phone book under Legal Aid and give them a call. Many of these agencies have fees based on income. Then you can find out if you have any legal grounds to stop visitation.
Another option might simply be to discuss this with your daughter to find out exactly why she doesn't want to go. Then you can discuss it with him and see if there is any way he can make her visit a little more pleasant.

Answer 4

By law she has to go. Try to explain this to her and tell her to be patient. Talk to a lawyer and see if they will let you and your daughter talk to a judge. Don't coach her on what to say. Let her express her real feelings. Also see if you can get her to a child counselor to see if he is causing her real damage. This will work well for you if it is.
Don't push your beliefs and worries on her though, this can be seen as you trying to influence her feelings towards her dad.
If things don't turn out how you like it, just think that it won't last for ever he only has legal visitation for 2 years then she can make go to a judge and have a better chance of being heard and taken serious in her decision. Just watch and be aware of any changes in her behavior to hint at abuse. If you don't feel right about it just keep fighting in court, but he has the right by law to see her. It can be sad sometimes but all you can do is try to fight it.

Answer 5

If he has visitation for the 11 year old she has to go. Most judges will not suspend visitation without a darn good reason, and different religious views is not a good reason. If you have your 11 year refusing to go then I would petition the court and see what you can get done via that route. I would also get her into counseling before any court date, and make darn sure you are not badmouthing her dad, that would go very bad for you in court. Not being mean, just telling you how family court judges might view that. I know how hard it is, been there done that, I know how you feel!

L.

Answer 6

Find yourself a county lawyer if you have them around where you live. Or find an attorney that charges on a sliding scale. Mostly a 12 year old child will be able to have some say in her own well being. She can tell a judge all the reasons that she doesn't want to live with her father durring the summer. None of them should be she'll miss her friends.

Answer 7

what ??? if he was abusive and you truly fear for her safety then why did the judge not issue a protective order for you and the kids when the divorce was granted ? on the other hand if your fears are unsubstantiated & irrational..and your daughter doesn't want to go because you have filled her head with horror stories of how her dad & his girlfriend are going to torture her because they do not have the same religious beliefs as you..then shame on you ! please do not talk badly about him in front of your daughter, that is her dad after all. she is old enough to know how to use a phone and call police should he become abusive towards her during her visitation. be the better person, act like a parent and ease your daughters fears about seeing him.

Answer 8

Legally, you are required to comply with the visitation guidelines the court has set forth for you. If you are truly concerned for the welfare of your child, I would strongly urge you to seek legal assistance through what ever means available to you. You may be surprised to find that lots of cities provide free legal aid for situations like this. I would also advise you to request the court to appoint an attorney ad litem for your child. This will give her a voice in a way like no other and will ensure that her wishes are heard by the court, in addition to yours. Many states and local governments have funds set aside to pay for ad litem situations, you just need to ask your attorney. Good luck to you and your daughter.

Answer 9

okay if it is the 19 year old she is an adult by law--so she doesnt have to go as for the 11 year old you have sole custody-prob for a reason so go to the courts and give your reasons why he should not take her--u seem to have a good case.

Answer 10

it actual relies upon on what your custody settlement says. once you've finished custody of the youngsters, then you will probably take care of to flow....if the settlement says no longer something about travelling or transferring out of state and also you imagine your husband will strive against it you'll want to go back to courtroom to amend the settlement. in case you instruct evidence your pastime is transferring you to Florida, and the benefits of transferring (i.e.having a job, providing for the youngsters, and so on) then the decide will unlikely end you from transferring. all of your husband can do is supply his causes for him needing you to stay....

Answer 11

You need to tell the courts if he is abusive to your daughter. But you can't keep him from his child just because they are not the same religion as you. Just because he isn't a Christian doesn't mean he is a bad father.