my 16 year old sons 19 year old girlfriend just told him shes pregnant?

Question

ever since my wife died my kids have been out of control, ive always found someway to clean up their messes though but i dont know what to do about this one

he said he wants the baby but i think hes making a mistake she alreay has a baby and my son is talking about marrying her and adopting her kid

what should i do ? i dont want his life to be ruined !!!

Answer 1

Sorry you're too late and there is nothing you can stop someone not having a baby without killing them so i think you should let your son.

Answer 2

I hate to break this to you but that girl didn't get pregnant on her own for one and second that is your grandchild she's carrying.Also you kid cant be a total screw up if he's trying to take responsibility for what he's done!!!!!I think you should support him in this decision because otherwise you will seriously DAMAGE you and your son's relationship!Also so what if she already has a child does that make her any less of a person....NO IT DOESN'T!!!!Children are not mistakes they are beautiful blessings from god!That is the problem with men today father's like you trying to steer your son away from the right decision!!!Do the right thing and let your son take repsonsibility for the consequences of his actions!!!!Oh and by the way even if you called the police he's 16 which means he is way more than likely the age for legal consent so the 19 year old GIRL would not be in trouble.You would have to be a demented man to call the cops on a child who is only 3 years older than your son!!!That can ruin someone's life!!!

Answer 3

First and foremost, I want to say I'm sorry for the loss of your wife. That must truly be difficult. I'm 21 years old and married with no children and I could never imagine loosing my husband.

Your childrens behavior is a result of the loss of their mother. This is how they are dealing with it all, by acting out they are basically telling you that they are hurt and destroyed. They don't know any other way to let you know. They are basically calling out for help. I definitely reccomend counseling but I understand that counseling is extremely expensive and perhaps you are on a budget and can't afford it. I would than suggest that you look at the resources you have for your area. Someone should be able to help.

As far as your son having a baby..... He is 16 years old and is a baby himself. What is a nineteen year old having babies with a sixteen year old for? I don't know what to suggest because I don't personally know your son. I know that if you forbid him to see his girlfriend and forbid him to see or keep his baby that he will hate you and only do more things to prove to you that he is in control and you're not. If you are totally against him being a part of this babies life than maybe you should look into boot camp. He is not too young to be a part of that. But than again, he did help make the baby and therefore, he should be held responsible to take care of it. If he wants to act stupid and immature than he needs to pay the consequences. He needs to stay in school, juggle a job and be a dad and it's your job as his father to make sure all of that happens. Don't let him control you! You are the adult and he is the child.

I do know one thing... the more parents tell their kids not to do something, the more they want to do it. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

I would say have an abortion if it's early. a kid having a kid is like the blind leading the blind. it never turns out good. sad situation. she needs to have her tubes tied or take birth control. i don't know your son but i would be willing to bet he's not ready to take on that responsibility and your family as a whole would be better off. he'll be strapped down for the rest of his life probably never make any decent money, never go to college or enjoy life because he's raising a kid. It can be done though but very few make it. marrying her at 16? he's not done growing and what he wants in a woman 5 to 10 years from now won't be what he wants today i can promise you that. divorce rate in america is 50 % of adults. Can you imagine what it is for kids who get married? Don't fool yourself. My uncle and aunt got married when she was 16 and he was 18. he got her pregant. they were married 30 + years, just recently got a divorce. his quality of life is what im concerned about. a baby might be just what he needs if he is partier and runs the streets. but you have ot make him stay home and take care of the baby, he won't do it on his own if he has a babbysitter. that being u there to clean up his mess all the time. I see it with my cousin who is in the same situation. 19 years old baby one year old and she runs the streets and hits the clubs because my uncle takes care of the baby. the baby is better off in his hands anyway. If your son is anything like this and im not saying he is cause i odnt know him, you will in effect be raising another kid yourself. think about it. it's a big decision your making here. a little critical thinking can be the best thing to do in the long run and thats; what matters.


**** OK, for all the goons on here who think it's screwed up for a 16 year old and 19 year old to have sex are retarded, just because there is a law on it doesn't make it right or just. Martin Luther King Jr. was thrown in jail for publicly speaking out on segragation. yeah, he broke the law. but it was a stupid law that should have never been a law in the first place! these people making these same statements are the ones you can thank for the holidays black people get to take off and you don't! use your brain a little bit! And for all those morons out there, there's a law called the "AGE OF CONSENT" and it's not 18 you retards!!! It varies from state to state. Where I live ( Florida) it's 16 as long as the other person is under 24. google the "age of consent" for yourself you *******. I'm going to have fun making money off all you idiots and watching you wash my nice car while I **** your daughter and sister and mother in it!!!

Answer 5

Sorry dad. but this is one thing that you have no control over.
Your son is going to be a father, accept it. You do not sacrifice the life of your own grandchild for your out-of-control son. To me, that doesn't make any sense.

For right now, talk with your son and get to know him, again. The good news is that he cannot marry anyone without your consent until after he turns 18. Remember, however, that puppy love is powerful. If you make the wrong move, you could lose him forever.

Accept the fact that you are about to be a grandfather, and be supportive towards the child's mother regardless of how you feel about her.

Take cre

Answer 6

First think about what is best for your grandson, both a willing father and mother in his life. Your son, like it or not already has his own family now and will have to make decisions with his girlfriend regarding their family. Marriage these days is not the life sentence it used to be, if they were to marry and it did not work out divorce is always an option. This situation may force your son to settle down and act like the young man he should, his life does not have to be ruined it may be better for the situation. Stress continuing education to your son for his family's sake. You also should not attempt to interfere with their relationship or shut the young woman out of your life, being a grandpa is an important job and you want your grandchild to have a happy home. I know I became a grandpa before I was ready but I would not trade my grandson for the world.

Answer 7

You cant always cover for your kids, they need to start learning how to fix their own mistakes, you may be their father and want to protect and help them but this is something he must learn to work out on his own.
Make him get a job that pays well, he is going to need all the money he can get (I am sure you know all about that) talk to him about the finance of it all show him this isn't an easy task to just marry someone and raise a child it is very very hard work and while she is pregnant it will only be his income supporting her.

It is good he wants to take responsibility rather than running off so be there for him but on the side line make him learn what it is to be an adult, if he wants to marry her then he will learn in time whether it is a mistake or not but atleast the child will grow to have a proper father not one that is not properly married to its mother.

Talk to him about the responsibility help him figure out all the needs of the child, taking her to doctors appointments what to expect finance all those sorts of things.

Answer 8

This is what I see as the best possible scenario in this situation. I just don't know if it's feasible.

I think that your son should keep the child. If at all possible he should get full custody. You should allow him to live at home rent free and help him out as much as possible if he meets certain conditions - such as: he is responsible for the child at all times and when he can't be, he'll have a paid sitter or make other arrangements, he will have at least a part time job to buy necessities for the kid, and he will either earn his GED or earn a diploma online. If he's interested in college, prehaps you could make the same arrangement then, also.

As far as the mother of the child is concerned... try your hardest not to allow them to move in together... you don't want him supporting her... it's kind of obvious that he feels like his family is broken and he is trying to make a new one... prehaps therapy would be beneficial if you can afford it...

Good Luck, God Speed

Answer 9

First I want to say so about your wife. It must be very hard for you. 16 yrs old, remember you are the parent and incharge until he turns 18. Do what is be for him not what he will hate you for. He does know what he wants, he is to young to make that decition. He can't really know if this girl is the one for the rest of his life. He can't change the fact that he is going to have a baby, but he still needs you. Don't let him leave and get married and make sure he finshes school. It is your job to that. Good luck and wish you the best!

Answer 10

DO NOT CALL THE POLICE!!! You knew he was in this relationship so you can't convict her or him for it now. You need to let him do what his heart feels is the thing to do. Everyone learns from their mistakes. He is not the one giving birth, so he can go ahead with school and even a career. Make a deal with him that you will support him and trust him only if he goes ahead with making a life for himself. Make him understand that if he is going to take on the responsibility of a wife and children he will have to continue with school so he can do the very best for them all. Don't make this decision for him, let him make it and do your best to be there for him. After all, this is your blood too.

Answer 11

Depending on your state, what she did is likely illegal. I would encourage him to not make any decisions until after the baby is born and paternity test is completed. Better yet, tell him he can determine this when he becomes an "adult" at 18.

He needs a wake-up call. If he marries her anytime soon, he'll have to drop out of school to get a job to support his new family. Show him what real bills look like so he can start thinking of how he will support his family.