Women only- would you do this to save your marriage?

Question

My ex and I had filed for a divorce back in June but it recently got dismissed because we didn't submit our paperwork. We have talked almost the whole time about wanting to make our marriage work. We have a toddler and I would love to raise him together. Here is the problem.... He said that for us to be together I would have to swallow. This is something I hate doing, and he knows this. Would you do something that makes you unhappy to keep your marriage together?

Answer 1

There is no way that I would agree to that. Come on-swallow? How disgusting. And that is keeping your marriage apart? You need to find someone who will respect you and your desires and not blackmail you into being happy. Love is a reason to stay together, mutual respect and trust also. Swallowing is not, end of story. Sorry. Bye Bye Hubby!

Answer 2

Whoooaaa...

This is tricky. Before answering this, what would you say the core of the problem is? Is it that your husband feels the marriage lacks intimacy? Because that would definitely change the way I'd answer the question.

However, if intimacy isn't the problem and he just feels he wants something more from you--even if you dislike it that much--then it absolutely isn't worth it.

Marriage = sacrifice + compensation + love + (other things) and forcing you to do something you dislike (something that is a physical need and not something necessary for a marriage to work) like that signifies that maybe it's time to let him go.

So ask yourself the core of the problem, and take it from there.

Don't sacrifice your ultimate happiness, though! Good luck~

Answer 3

Saving your marriage should be immensely important...however, a marriage can't be based on selfishness, and he sounds very selfish to make a condition like that. If he knows you hate something and yet makes that the condition to stay together what is he thinking? Its not made out of love certainly, and doing that one thing is not going to be the turning point in your marriage, or keep you together in the future if there are problems. Try to save your marriage, but thats an unreasonable request, and he knows it.

Answer 4

Tell him that when he starts swallowing....you will. In all honesty honey, is this what you really want? A marriage on conditions? I understand your need to make things work for the sake of your son, but the reality is that no matter how hard you try, this man is always going to find some excuse for it not to. Or he's going to keep making demands of you. You are a person, not his sex slave. You have a mind, obviously a heart and all you need now is the courage to stand on your own two feet. Your son is young, if you divorce now, he'll adjust. I know it will be hard, but if you concentrate on making your son a priority, it'll work out. Then go and find someone who loves you for who you are and is willing to accept your son as a package deal. Those men are out there honey. You deserve better and you know this.

Answer 5

Girl hell no!!! If something that petty is keeping him from you then let him go. Sounds like he is just using that as leverage or something. This really doesnt make any sense to me because out of all the problems people have in this world, your marriage cant survive a simple sex issue. Tell him to grow up. He should be talking about how he needs to swallow his pride and put your child's needs before his own pitiful sexual desires. I mean come on now. How hard is it? At least he gets some from you, who cares where it goes? Praying for yall!!!!

Answer 6

No. You hate it, you will end up getting sick because you hate it. And, that is not the cause of the marriage to break up. It's a cop out. A man that truly loves his wife would not divorce her because of that. What did you do before you were married? Did he know you wouldn't do that? Submit the paperwork and find someone that isn't so self centered. You have a child, and that child should mean more than a simple sex act. How does he explain that in the paperwork? A judge should send him to therapy!

Answer 7

Don't!
He is asking you to do something that he knows causes you distress. If he wants to make this marriage work, he's got a stupid way of showing it. Sounds as if he's a controlling individual and you were right in the first place to file for divorce.

Answer 8

Yes absolutely. Sex is a huge part of a couples marriage, and if this is something that he desires then you need to find ways to accomplish this. If you honestly think that you can't do this, then don't get back together, because he will cheat on you or you will be down this road when you have 2 more kids with him...

I swallow with my husband, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. The trick is to ensure that they have an orgasm at least every day, so it isn't all chunky. (I am being completely serious) When he is about to ***, ensure the penis is far back in your mouth... so the *** doesn't stay in your mouth for a long time before it goes down. If it is chunky, then I keep the *** in my mouth for a long time while moving the penis around to lossen it up, this way when it goes down my throat I am not gagging with all the chunks.

Not swallowing is actually more grosse to me.

Answer 9

If thats what he is basing your marriage on then he certainly isnt worth it and he sadly will be missing out on who was probably the best spouse he will ever have. This marriage is not based on love it is based on his selfishness. Sounds like he is a narcissist and only cares about himself and what makes him happy. Honey you can do much better then this. Consider this a big red flag and know that you will never be happy with this man. I am with you girl, that is disgusting and certainly grounds for divorce.

Answer 10

If you feel that strongly about it absolutely not. If he really does love you ask yourself why he would want to make you do something you don't want to do?

Do you really think something so small is going to save your marriage? You need to see the big picture. Go to counseling that may save your marriage.