my partner has cancer, we have been out for 2 years, i still have dreams such as kids and house and travelling, but because she is very sick and possiblly will be sick for a long time if not death, my life is ruled with worry and stress. We are both in 20's. what should i do?
2007-01-21 13:49:35 · 33 answers · asked by hwdfoo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you love her then u should stay with her. she's need you more than you know...
2007-01-21 13:52:49 · answer #1 · answered by iamdeyb 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The typical response for this question is: "Do what your heart tells you to do"! but, you already know that so here is what I really think....I think no one is guaranteed tomorrow and Everyone should be living as if today is your last day. Do not put a "death sentence" on her because she has cancer. She could have another 20 to 25 good years left and for all you know you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. No one knows what will come of their life or how long we will live. Just try to make the best of EVERY situation and never take for granted the time you spend with the ones you love.
2007-01-21 14:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her. It will be painful for her I know but you have your dreams too. She should be selfless enough to let you go after your dreams. An unhealthy or even terminally ill person should not expect to get married. It would be selfish of her to expect to marry you and have kids then die on all of you. Marriage is a partnership where both parties hope for a lifelong relationship where both can bring added value to the relationship, to build a home, bring up children and support each other. In this case, your sick partner is totally dependent on you which is truly stressful and honestly won't bring you much happiness except worry and stress. People enter into marriage with happiness and great hope for the future, but if you do, you won't have any. So why continue with a relationship which does not have a happy future? Unless you are a masochist, I advise you to end your relationship with her. The bottomline is........ she is not qualified for marriage.
2007-01-22 03:38:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First don't assumed that her illness will last a life time or death will be soon or later. A lot could happen. It is in the hands of God for her well being, and you can help by praying for her recovery My concern is mostly you. The stress and and worrying is not healthy for you.
Try to take a personal mini vocation by yourself. It will give you a chance to relax as much as you can. Also let me add while your gone a lot could happen to her when you return.
If this is the girl you plan to married, then your obligation to her is very worthy. Be with her and give her all the support you can offer, but remember what I said, step back and give sometime for yourself too. I will keep both of you in my prayers. God Bless.
2007-01-21 14:06:04 · answer #4 · answered by tony 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to your dreams and plans. You are not married. If your spouse has cancer, it's for better or worse, till death do you part. When you are dating, this is not the level of committment required by honor.
Don't let inappropriate guilt cause you to let your life slip away.
If you still love this person, then I imagine you'd want to stick around and be supportive. You'll have to set a date in your mind for deciding whether or not you will stay in the relationship or let yourself sadly go on.
2007-01-21 13:57:56 · answer #5 · answered by t jefferson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately, it is your decision. Either way, you going to get flack for whatever decision you decide to make. Just make sure that its something you can live with.
I agree with forever_young's response. Also you mentioned that you're in you 20's and you want to have children and travel. Why can't you do that in your 30's? Plus, don't you have some short term goals that you can be doing to persue your dreams? Again, it is your decision. So far, you have received some good advise.
I wish you and your partner well. I know that this is hard for you but just remember that prayer changes things.
2007-01-21 14:06:51 · answer #6 · answered by gloried 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really love her? If so, stand beside her and give her all the support. Maybe she won't have a long life but you will and you can give the best of yourself to someone who loves you dearly.
How would you feel without her, I mean, if you just walk away from her?
I stayed with my husband when he was very very ill - crack cocainer. Now I am very sick, anemia, tumors, diabetes. He relapsed two days ago and said bye - I tell you: I feel terrible. I could fight better my illness if I wasn't feeling so lonely.
So, if you love her, show her how much she's loved and important for you.
2007-01-21 13:58:59 · answer #7 · answered by katanasan81 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally if I was her. I would feel VERY hurt if you did leave. But at the same time I would try to understand. And part of me would understand. When it comes to women, the hurt will take over. Personally even if your not married. I would go along with the saying "Til Death Do Us Part". If she is going to pass away. Make sure you make her last memories special. I think that anyone would hate to die with a broken heart...
2007-01-21 14:09:30 · answer #8 · answered by BigAndBeautiful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you really have to sit down and think, am I up for this? Long ago, I had a boyfriend that got into a car accident he was in a coma for three months. He was not the same after that, so his parents told me that it was best if I just left him, alone so that he could recover I never saw or spoke to him again. I look back on it now and I am glad his parents made that decision for me.
2007-01-21 13:58:59 · answer #9 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that is a tough one..i am so sorry. unfortunately there are not easy out answers for this problem. If you are questioning this...maybe its not true love? Dont get me wrong...i am not saying you dont love her. This would be difficult for ANYONE. Your not being married plays a big part of this too. Is it terminal..how long do the doctors say she has..have you talked about marriage? maybe give more info in your question.
2007-01-21 13:55:29 · answer #10 · answered by justme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See love doesn't matter whether you are healthy or sick. Turn the tables around....how would you feel if she was thinking the same thing as you. You feel in-love with this woman and should stand by her. I think that is the problem with people and relationships today....nobody takes them seriously and figure there are always others out there.
2007-01-21 13:55:01 · answer #11 · answered by stepande 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋