What I can do with my boring husband?

Question

Well, I'm married to him for 25 years but he's so boring. In 25 years we have been at the movies just once. Two years ago was our 24 anniversary and he didn't want to go, so he send me with my three sons for dinner and I went because I need it to get out of my house. My friends invite us to weddings, New Years parties and anniversaries and of course I always go by myself, his excuse? I'm not a party person. He don't have a single friend. He's ten years older than me. My life is in cero. He comes from work and get his pijamas, the remote control and forget about the entire world. When I talk to him is like I was chatting to the fireplace. He's a good provider, very responsible, a very hardworking man, but he is a loner and tries to drag me down to his emptiness and I'm the opposite to him. Ahh..of course that he is very controlling. And I can't go to the supermarket without the company of one of the boys. I feel bad and in crisis please give me a good advice.

Answer 1

Does your husband seem to have anything that really makes him happy? Is he like this at work? If the answers are yes, he may have a case of clinical depression. Depression ofetn carries with it a lack of enjoyment in once pleasuable activities and this slothful behavior you speak of. I would recommend an evaluation by a psychologist. A psychiatrist would probably prescribe medication, but a psychologist might be able to use therapy to help him fight his way out.

Answer 2

i'm interior the comparable boat! My husband performs video games 24/7 whilst he's no longer working or he's watching television. the only convo we ever have is the less than 5 min one we've whilst he gets living house from artwork telling me approximately his day. He would not even ask how mine is. I been with him extraordinarily much 3 years married below one and it has no longer consistently been this way. I even have tried each and everything and that i've got given up. heavily what are you meant to do whilst your married to somebody like this? you won't be able to talk over with them because of the fact they get all protecting and right here comes a controversy. I even have seen human beings talk approximately being married to somebody like this as properly. human beings informed them attempt this or that why could desire to we could desire to consistently kiss the guy we are married to butt to get some interest and affection. that could desire to come again with the territory! it extremely is supply and acquire 50/50 in a marriage. I even have weighed all my strategies and talked and talked and talked to my husband approximately it. I even have have been given nowhere now purely element left for me to do is record for divorce. I gave it my terrific shot and put in my all in this finished relationship mentally i'm drained and might't take anymore. So yeah i understand what your dealing with and that i do wish your marriage would not bring about divorce like mine is going to finally end up. consistent with danger your husband will come around if no longer that's time to start up thinking of plan B.

Answer 3

He is your husband and you can't leave him over this you don't have biblical grounds for divorce, but you can help him to get over his problem, he need's to see a shrink, so someone other then his wife, who he think's is just nagging him, can tell him why he need's to participate more in your intrests. Here's a thought, I herd some people are so addicted to TV that it makes them become home body's, if that's his case you need to shut off the cable for just a while and see if he starts to engage in other activity's with you. Try to find a couple to make friends with and double date. Also maybe you can comprimize for example, you tell him "I will do something you want to do, If you do something I want to do" fill in the blanks you know what he like's, food wise, sex wise, favor wise, whatever he really enjoy's doing that's not an everyday thing. I hope you found at least one suggestion that could help your problem does'nt have an easy answer hunny.

Answer 4

Obviously you have decided not to leave, so I won't advise you to do that. Instead, you need to have a very, very, very calm discussion with him about how you feel about this.

* start all of your sentences with "I" instead of saying things like "you always" or "you never" .... so you might say "I feel trapped since I'm lonely when I go to parties by myself" instead of "You never go to parties with me"

* make it clear that you are not leaving and not threatening, but you want things to change so that you can become a happy person again.

* tell him that you want to make a serious plan, and then follow through with it. With a pen and paper, write down things you will actually do to change your relationship. Actually do this! Don't just say "So, things will be better??" because that's too vague, and they won't. Decide serious, concrete things: maybe every Tuesday you will go out for supper, maybe you and he will both have to bring an interesting newspaper article to bed on Thursday nights, whatever it is, it should be something that starts a conversation, that is not frightening to him and that appeals to both of you at least slightly.

* don't try to make him into a party person -- it probably won't work and you will feel like you're babysitting him -- but ask him if he will do his part to make you feel like you are free and not tied down by him.

Good luck.

Answer 5

You need to have a serious talk with this man he is your husband but sounds like your father and is it probably so hard on you being alone all the time, do you think he does not like to be seen with you because of the age difference, my dad did the same to my mother it was a 20 yr difference in age.

Answer 6

most people would say to take the easy way out and leave but that would also be somewhat insane to throw away twenty five years. If you wanted to do that, I am sure you would have realized him to be this way some twenty five years ago and could have made that decision then. My advice to you is to sit down and talk to him. Have you sons find something to keep them busy so they cant go with you when you need to go out. This way he will probably have to get up off his rear and go with you instead. Let your sons tell him that you are not their responsibility as they have their own lives to live. Furthermore, if he tries to send you out with someone to keep an eye on you, then just tell him that if he can't go with you, you will go by yourself because they are not the ones married to you. One extreme is to have someone rob you and then tell him that it would not have happened if he had been with you. Play on his guilt and then tell him you are not going to the police cause you didn't see their face.

Answer 7

talk to him tell your blue in the face tell him whats on your mind tell him you need some to do right away .Do you work if not get a part-time job that will take away some of the bordem take a class you have to find something your interested in and pursue let him sat at home and be a couch potato (free your self)

Answer 8

i am in your situation, except for the control issue. ive been married to my husband 1 year and he doesnt communicate with me either. we dont go anywhere together or anything. dont go do something stupid like cheating. that would make your situation worse. instead surround yourself with people who do care about you and will listen to you. just dont let it go so far that you forget that you are still married. it sounds to me like that is what he did. try spicing things up or try to find something that he likes to go do just to go and be with him. tell him how you feel . he will listen. whether he responds or not is up to him. just know that you do did your part. good luck

Answer 9

keep going out with out him. thats his fault for not wanting to come. dont let it stop you from having fun. if he is making you that upset get a divorce. or you can always trie doing things he likes to do. maybe he likes to go fishing or bowling, ask him what he wants to do.

Answer 10

Get a job and start building a good social circle. I am afraid you can't change him because he's basically dead, he just do not know it yet.