Why is it??

Question

I don't know if this is weird or what. But right now I am 18 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years. And right now I am going through a lot. I am always feeling down because I want to start a family. I always feel like there is something missing. I wanting to have a kid and I just feel alone. And that everyone is getting married and pregnant. Though my boyfriend doesn't want to have kids in tell we are financially set. I just don't know what to do. Because I feel alone and there is something missing. I just keep thinking it is a phase that is going to pass but it never does. or it does and it comes back. I just wanted to know if anyone could help. Thanks

I do have a job and I am going to school to become a massage therapist. Some of you asked if I had either of those. So I just wnated to let you know.

Answer 1

You are just feeling this way because some of the people around you are pregnant or have babies. It is normal to feel that way. But honestly if you and your boyfriend aren't financially stable as a couple and you both live with your parents then it isn't such a good idea to bring another life into the world right now. As for the feeling you are going through try to distance yourself from the friends you have that have kids or are pregnant or maybe babysit for them to fill your need or want to have a baby right now, that might help a little bit, it will kind of give you a taste of what parenting is really like. I had a friend of mine who said that she wanted a baby so badly she was only 18 so she and her boyfriend rushed out and got married and wanted to work on having a baby as soon as possible. Not too long after they got married they moved into the apartment next to mine and my fiancee's and I would let her come over and just hang out and I even let her get an idea of what it would be like if she had a baby right now. I let her stay at my house overnight and upon her request she wanted to get up in the middle of the night with me and see if she would have the patience for it needless to say after one night of that she was at her doctors the next day talking to them about birth control options again, but to her surprise she was already 7 weeks pregnant and now she has her little boy and she doesn't regret having him but she wishes she would have waited she said that her life right now is so not what she pictured for herself right now, so be careful. Good luck with everything.

Answer 2

Feeling alone is not a reason to have a child! You are still practically a child yourself. Where do you live that people at 18 are getting married and having kids? Please ... you need to get out and see the world a bit. You should work on yourself. Are you not going to college? If not, that is another reason to not have a child. How will you support it? Your b/f is right, you should not even be thinking about having kids until you are financial able to handle the responsibitliy. Don't be selfish. You really need to figure out why you feel like something is missing. Object and /or people can not feel your void. You need to figure out why you feel that way before you do anything! Go to a counselor. Maybe they can help guide you to some books or talk these things through with you.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with wanting to start a family. Many women feel that *something missing* feeling and have the urge to have a baby. I hope that you do go on to have a family some day. However, when you bring a child into the world, that child is totally dependent on you. Its life is in your hands. That's why it is very important to be in a position where you can provide the child what it needs - food, clothing, shelter, love, happiness, emotional stability, and two loving parents in a stable relationship. Raising a child will be the most challenging thing you will ever do in your life, even with the financial and emotional stability. Take away one of those things, and raising your child becomes even more difficult, and your child will pay the price for that. That is why it is important to think ahead and plan. Your boyfriend is very smart and he is thinking ahead, so you should listen to him and take what he says to heart.

Answer 4

Having a child is a big responsibility. It will change your life FOREVER. This is not a decision you should take lightly. This is definitely not something you do just because everyone is doing it. You should do this when the time is right and when you and your partner are ready. Your boyfriend is right. You need to wait until your financially ready to have a child.

You didn't mention if your going to school or working. If you're not doing either one - then you should. Find something else to give you fulfillment. Don't have a baby. What happens if that doesn't fill that void? You can't give it back.

Answer 5

I think your boyfriend is very responsible by saying he doesnt want kids until you are financially settled.

I know how you feel, I felt the same way when I was your age, but I know today that it was good that I did not marry and have children then. It would have been way to early.

What you feel right now is the need to find yourself. You need to find your goal in life, get on the path that you want to go. Become mentally prepared for all that is going to come.. and trust me, before you know you will have a family too.

Concentrate on yourself, enjoy being independant, go out, shop, get a pet to take care of, make a plan for your future.

Answer 6

Alot of women feels this at a very young age. The reason we want kids is that we have this image of having someone to love us and fulfill us unconditionally. Unfortunately, babies need a lot more love than they give.

If your boyfriend is not ready, then getting preganant will only make him move farther away. He may still need to have some fun, which is hard to do with an infant. He'll probably be ready one day, but you can give him credit for being open and honest with you.

Here are things to consider before having a baby: Do you have adequate health insurance for you and your baby? (Once you get pregnant you can't be on your parent's health insurance, and you can only get insurance through your husband NOT a boyfriend). BTW it cost 13,000 dollars to have my baby, and I had a normal easy pregnancy and normal delivery with no complications. Can you afford about 600 a month in extra expenses for the baby, between food/formula, clothes, doctor's visits, diapers and wipes, baby soaps-creams and laundry detergent? Also child care if you need to work or go to the doctor.

If you are feeling unfulfilled, then it's time to do something for you. Take some classes at a local college, learn a new language or skill. It just sounds like you are looking for more in your life and I am sure you can find it.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Feeling alone is not a good enough reason to have a baby in my opinion....go get a second job and start preparing that nest egg (the gigantic financial nest egg thaat every baby needs) and you may start to feel better knowing you are working towards something...or go to college and when you get out, know that your earing potential will be FAR more whaat it is now...and that you will be able to start a family soon after graduation....

Answer 8

dont have a baby just cause you feel like you are missing something.

babies are A LOT of work, and once u have one, you cant take it back to the hospital because you get tired of the whole mom thing

besides being a lot of work they also require a lot of money(doctors visits, diapers, formula and clothing just to name a few)

like i mentioned, once you have a baby, thats it.... your nights of staying out late will be over and its a lot lot lot of resposibility. as soon as u get pregnant the baby will be the one that always comes first

since all of your friends are having babies, why not spend an evening either babysitting a newborn or spending time with one of your friends and their baby... just so you can have some sort of idea what you may be getting yourself into

Answer 9

look at it this way, you could have a kid and then decide that you don't want it and then what will you do???

you are only 18 and there is still so much growing up that you have to do.

try doing different things in your life. do something that you have never done before.

and just because everyone else is doing something doesn't mean you have to do it too. enjoy what you have with your boyfriend without the added stress of money and a family.

Answer 10

You are too young and have too much to do before having a baby. If you are missing something, volunteer, get a job, get involved in other activities at school. A baby is a lot of work and doesn't necessarily love you back right away or give you unconditional love. Your boyfriend has the right idea and if you try to rush or trick him into becoming a fther, you will find yourself a single parent at the age of 19 or 20.

It is not easy to be a single parent in your 30s or 40s, trust me, it definitely is one of the most difficult and unfair things you could do to bring an innocent into a world at 19 or so when you are not prepared to take care of it.