Is it normal for a woman to feel tired of being married?

Question

I have been married for 17 years, he is the nicest guy ever and loves me like no one else. I love him too, but sometimes I feel I am missing something and want to run away. There is absolutely no one else, and don't want anybody else.

Answer 1

You're normal, its normal. I think you know fully that you have a wonderful thing going, but its human nature to wonder what else we might be missing out on. Over years, we change and our relationships change. If you were bored with yourself, I'd say "go do something new, grow!" Being bored or tired in a relationship is sort of the same thing, the thing is you have to do things to make the relationship grow. Try developing a new hobby together, or making a date night (serious!) every week.

What you're missing is excitement. You don't have to be single to get excitement, and a lot of the single-style excitement is dangerous physically, financially, and emotionally. Remember way back when you were dating, how you would ask each other questions about everything and really, really listen intently? Try bringing that back. Its a conscious choice, and little actions and decisions and considerations can help reflame the excitement of love when they're done with the direct intent of making the other person happy.

When in doubt, consider Erma Bombeck's writings (The Grass is Greener on the Other Side of the Septic Tank). The grass is greener where there's a lot of, well, ****. Or it looks that way. Or more accurately, you have to aply a lot of **** to get that really green grass. Much less smely and frustrating if you just buy some fertilizer for your lawn. I'm sure you see the analogy here.

Best wishes, but remember, you are normal, and your feelings can be channeled in way that is constructive for you and for your husband, and ultimately for your marriage.

Answer 2

Doesn’t sound like a marriage to me. He comes home from work and plops down in front of the TV. He stuffs his face with food and then has his ways with you before going to bed... the whole time refusing to talk at all. Granted it sounds like you do talk a lot and this may have become a bit of a defence mechanism to avoid talking too much. BUT what he is doing is uncalled for. He needs to realize that the two of you do need to communicate and that he is neglecting you. Those are long hours that he is pulling make him completely drained by the end of the day. He doesn’t want to talk because it’s late, then he shouldn’t have fooled around right before bed. He wants his desires filled... he should fulfil yours first. When he comes home from work, feed him and then say “Well... you like to watch TV in silence, so I’m going to bed. Goodnight dear.” If he wakes you up to get a bit of action, tell him you are tired from the house cleaning and cooking... you need your sleep and that this will be the way things are until he is willing to talk. Then go and sleep in the other room. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He needs to realize that he needs to put an effort into the relationship as well. Or... you could take the most logical route, by taking him to a marriage counsellor because the marriage is already on the rocks. The fact is, is that you won’t be able to fix this issue by yourself. Holding a wildcat sex strike is probably going to make things worse. Getting a professional is the best course of action. They can hear all angles of the case and come to the best conclusion. I feel I know what that will be, but I some how doubt he would listen to some stranger off the internet... he sounds very headstrong and selfish. CyberNara

Answer 3

Oh my God. I think that is so normal. I have felt like that several times during the last year or so of my marriage. I don't know what age you got married, but i was married when i was 20 so i think i missed out on that young independant stage, where i was never on my own, doing what i want to do, and now i feel so trapped. I love my man, and i know he loves me but i often wonder what i am missing, and what else is out there(i don't mean other men, just opportunity). I've talked to other women who have been married for some time, and almost all admit they have similar feelings.

Answer 4

Everybody gets tired of the work that it takes to maintain a marriage, but if you feel something is missing maybe you should talk to your husband about taking a trip together.
Get out of your routine with him for a little while and maybe that will put a new perspective on your relationship.
Just remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.
The person on the other side of the fence still has to water, weed, feed, and mow that grass. Its an every day job to keep that grass so green and pretty !!!

Answer 5

I feel that way a lot! and from what I have heard we aren't the only ones. I think a lot of it is that we are bored. Adding an activity to my schedule with my spouse seemed to be a great help.You might try a bowling league, a movie out night, a dinner out night once a week or any other activity that involves getting out, and being with other people. It adds excitement and gives you something to look forward to.

Answer 6

When you mentioned you feel like something is missing, Is that in the relationship OR with yourself ?, running away could mean that a part of you wants to escape ,but their must be a reason why!!!!
Marriage is a full-time contract life time commitment, sounds like a scary job in my eyes so yes i would be tired the married life,(+kids) but it would only be up to me to fill the gap & work out what's missing. ;)

Answer 7

Yes, I feel the same way. It's a phase I go through. One time I'm like how in the heck am I going to go through 30 more years of this,,,,,,,,,next I'm like ,,man I'm so lucky he really is a good husband and does do alot for me.
If your in a position were you can take a personal vacation, that would help. Even if it's just for a weekend. But a week would be better !

Answer 8

completely normal. Anything you do for a while you get tired of cuz there is some redundancy, the diff. between you making your relationship work and someone else is knowing that this is just a part of life and to up and chuck it for something else you'll run into the same thing. Think about mothers for instance...you think everyday they wanna wake up to their kids (if your a mom you know what Im talking about) no they dont, some days they dont wanna be mommy, they wanna be single, kid free...but they dont chuck their kids even though there are ways to do so (legally!) same for marriage sweetie...

Answer 9

I think it all depends on how long you have felt this way and how many people there were b4 him you might just want to see what else is out there or even what different kinds of lifestyle's there is, your just board and there's nothing really wrong with it just beware if you do run away he might not be there when you decide to come back. I hope you get this worked out, best of wishes

Answer 10

This is very normal but not right... If you feel this way do what you can to not feel tired and go to counseling if need be. Do not run away as this is not the answer. Running never solves anything it just causes more problems.