I cheated on my husband for about 5 months last year.?

Question

I ended it 3 months ago, but it's eating at me. I have small children with my husband of 6 years. If I tell him, he'll for sure seek custody and leave me. Should I tell him, seek counseling without telling him, or just let it be since I ended it?

Answer 1

DON'T TELL HIM to relieve your own guilt. It will destroy him and your family. You carry this burden, if you can't carry it alone, ask the Lord for forgiveness. NOT, I REPEAT, NOT YOUR HUSBAND. If you feel led of the Lord, go into counseling by yourself. Recommit yourself to your husband, in your head & your heart and don't cheat again. Don't be selfish, put your husband's and your children's peace of mind ahead of yours.

Answer 2

Let it go...trust me it will only make the situation worse. What's done is done and you can't take it back, but if you go and tell him, he may never let you live it down and there may be reporcussions such as custody issues. For the sake of your children don't say a thing to their father...if it's eating you up that bad inside, then go talk to someone whom you can trust to open up to and get it off your chest, just make sure this person has no connection to your ex. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Alot of these people are F.O.S.

If it's "eating at you" bottling it up is only going to make the problem worse. The only thing worse than cheating on him is making him think that you love him when you obviously don't. Skip the next paragraph if you don't care about my commentary on you personally.

You were stupid for cheating, and truthfully, I have no sympathy for you. A bad marriage might make you feel like you could do better, but that is no license to cheat, and no expression of love.

On the flipside, though, I'm NOT your husband. He may love you so much that he will forgive you. I reiterate, You WILL take out your guilt on your husband and family if you hold it in. It's your choice though, I'm just some random guy on the internet.

Answer 4

I don't like cheaters but I'll give you some advice. If you tell your husband cuz you're feeling bad about it you'll unnecesarily hurt him. If you're done and you feel bad and you know that you'll never cheat again it's best not to tell him. If you think that there's a chance that you might cheat again then maybe he should know so he knows that you're not a faithful person. As for the children. He's not going to get custody just cuz you cheated on him.

Answer 5

Say nothing. You need to put this behind you. No counsellings. No confiding in a "good" friend. Forgive yourself and don't ruin all of these lives. Your husband and children did nothing wrong. Don't make them pay for your indiscretion. Write me through my profile if you need to unburden yourself. But please, don't tell. I mean it. Stop thinking about it and eat a bowl of ice cream.

Better yet... why don't you make a new commitment to this man. Silently. And from now on, spend your life making it up to him. Tell him you love him every chance you get. Tell him that you know you are in the right man's arms when you fall asleep. Instead of breaking him, build him up. Maybe he will turn into the man of your dreams and no temptations will befall you again.

Answer 6

Well if you really ended it I would suggest you give yourself time to clear your head.You don't need to tell him right away but in time you should tell him.You have done wrong he has every right to be upset believe me.If you don't want to rock the boat right now try to be the best loyal faithful wife you can be.Someday when you feel the time is right tell him that you made a terrible mistake one time and you were to afraid to tell him about it at the time because right now the children will suffer alot if he does not understand.As for having it eat at you right now talk with your clergy man or a marriage counselor or some kind of therapist.Good Luck

Answer 7

Hey girlygirl, something must be wrong with your relationship if you were having an affair for 5 months. What makes you think you won't cheat again if the opportunity comes up again? Maybe you should consider leaving him before he or the children find out. Better to have 2 loving homes for the kids, instead of one that is apparently not so loving.

Answer 8

I'd go for some counseling to start. This must be eating at you and it will destroy your marriage eventually. The councilor will know when it is time to come clean, if ever, with your spouse, Even though I am a firm believer in truth and honesty, you crossed those lines when you cheated and to tell him all now without some professional guidance might ruin whatever chance you have at savaging your marriage.

Answer 9

You need to be honest with your husband and tell him now as this is making you feel bad and eating you up... Ask him to forgive you and hope that he does and if he wants out of the marriage then let him go but offer to go to marriage counseling with him to work on your marriage. Honesty is the best policy. You will ultimatley feel better for it and if he wants custody you can fight over that in court and try to keep your kids.

Answer 10

I assume you love him and still want to spend the rest of your life with him? Else you wouldn't be asking us and would have already told him of your infidelity. You are right, he won't be happy hearing about it. My wife had a fling 5 yrs ago and it was just a one night stand. She told me 3 days after the event and I was devastated. Took me a long time to get over it. If she had told me it was a love affair, not just a fling, I doubt we would have survived. Keep it your secret, seek therapy if you need to. Good luck!