ok, i am 14 years old and am in high school. I took this class with a teacher for a year and we talk a lot and he knows everything about me and we tlak a lot during and after class. I really really like him and want to get to know him as a friend and a friend only, but i dont know if thats wrong or not......the teacher is 26 years old... please give me your advice
Casey Ann Cooley
2007-01-21 11:50:04 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Casey, love, keep your distance. This man is older, he has other interests etc. He is 12 years older than you, and you just being a friend could cost him his job...in some states, you being alone with him is considered sexual misconduct with a minor. He should not encourage this sort of friendship.
2007-01-21 11:58:19 · answer #1 · answered by skye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Casey;
This is not a friendship you are looking for/nor will get. STEER FAR AWAY! Students and teachers are NOT to have such friendships. It is called Rape.
Trust me on this...Any time a young girl gets involved in a friendship with an older man...It only spells T.R.O.U.B.L.E.. Even if you initiated it.
You will carry around a very heavy load of regrets for the rest of your life.
Get involved with a club or two at school. Work hard and get straight A's/B's. Plan to go to college. Put your mind and eyes on what will last in your life. This relationship would be doomed from the start.
I have found men always use the girl, in these type of relationships. It sounds like you need a father figure or love in your life. There are better ways to full this need.
My daughters are 17 and 19 and I gave them the same advice. They are doing very well in school. They have male friends and do not wish to date right now. They are very active in clubs, volunteering, church, the college activities and with friends.
I wish for you a wonderful life. I know you will think on this and in the end choose the right direction.
2007-01-21 20:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by nmd_elkie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take it any further than what you have now. You are the student. He is the teacher. He might be a great guy that you'd love to have as a friend, and maybe someday when you graduate high school, you can officially be friends with each other. But for now, don't pursue a friendship and DO NOT put yourselves in the position of being alone together, because it could jeopardize his job and I know you wouldn't want him to be fired. No matter what, he will be held responsible for any situation that occurs.
2007-01-21 20:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by TPhi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beware! A man his age, if "normal" would have no interest in spending time with a kid your age, unless it were his own child, or some other relative. You could not only get him into a lot of trouble for what people merely IMAGINE the two of you to be doing, but how can you expect him to objectively "teach" you, if he has a special interest in you? Do you think he will be able to grade your work objectively, so you are in a position to learn as much from him as your classmates, or will he be cutting some slack for being "the teacher's pet"?
Things are way out of balance here...this relates to sexual harassment in the workplace; why it is frowned upon, and unhealthy to date your superiors, who have a certain amount of power and influence over you. These kind of relationships can never be on an equal footing, rather the "superior" is always controlling over the "underling". Even just trying to be his friend is unhealthy for the both of you.
Cool it, gal, and find friends (of both sexes) your own age.
2007-01-21 20:05:21 · answer #4 · answered by Howie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow, I know that no matter what anyone says you will do what you want to do. Everyone will tell you not to, because you really should not. This is very harmful. A rule of thumb if you cant talk to your friends about the whole story then its a bad idea. If he wants you to keep it a secret, you know it is bad. Life will give you lessons and you will learn from them, but if you haven't lived very long it is hard to understand how the world works. I am 23 a i know that it is a very bad idea. I know you will read my answer and forget what everyone is telling you until you read a answer that you want to hear but please I am begging you, really you don't know what might happen, yes that is an unanswered question but one you will never know that it saved your life. Please don't! I want you to be around to make other silly teenage mistakes not one that could potentially ruin or end your life.
2007-01-21 20:00:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even go there. It's one thing to be "friendly", it's another to be "friends". At your age, that big a difference in age makes a friendship inappropriate. Too many things about it can look wrong to outsiders, whether it is or not. Plus, what if you end up falling for him? You're in for a world of hurt. If he's being too friendly, he could be thinking more than friends, and that makes him a pedophile. Just don't even start. Turn around. Walk away. Don't look back!
2007-01-21 20:22:57 · answer #6 · answered by Palmyrita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're asking for trouble! Make friends that are your own age. If he is 26 and wants to be friends w/ a 14 y/o, he's probably up to no good! Most likely (hopefully) he's just trying to be a nice teacher and NOTHING more.
2007-01-21 19:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by Legally Blonde 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's possible and if he's 26 maybe he's not one of those creepy 40 year old teachers. Give him a trinket like a mad magazine or something to remember you by for next year. Dude can sign your yearbook as your favoratist teacher.
2007-01-21 19:57:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Casey.. I got say, as a Coast Guard Student trainy,andd also other people who will see this soon too, is that, teachers are always*** there if you need someone to talk to.. they even say it all time..Anyone who needs help, or just wants to talk, please drop by my i.e. office,room, or wherever. But there is limits to things you might want to know and say. Im afraid to say it, dont want hurt your feelings, but you did get a sense to even ask us on ANSWERS!! " maybe its wrong" well yeah it can be.In many situations teachers have been arrested for hurting the student.. and how your 14, and hes 26.. well yeah
Just make sure you know what your doing.
Takecare
Shawn
2007-01-21 19:58:45 · answer #9 · answered by Shawn Miller 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have no business having a friendship with a 26-year-old man, teacher, or not it would be dangerous for both of you. Find a friendship with someone more your age.
2007-01-21 19:55:46 · answer #10 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋