this seems to be a popular response from women on talk shows when explaining why they stay with a man who cheats on them, abuses them, neglects them, disrespects them, etc...
2007-01-21 11:41:21 · 44 answers · asked by kewtber 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I wasn't referring to myself and my current situation though I appreciate the words of support and everyone who responded. I have been in situations where I was treated badly in the past by someone I loved but I got myself out of those situations and learned from them. I don't think I love you is enough...
2007-01-21 12:06:16 · update #1
Because they don't know what love is.
2007-01-21 11:44:21 · answer #1 · answered by MFD 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps they suffer Stockholm Syndrome. It is a belief that your captor is good and means you well. That there is a method to their madness.
Actually, these women have had their self esteem chipped away and have often been isolated from all outside help and contact. Sometimes it takes a long time to safely plan to leave an abuser. Even shelters and rescue organizations say so. Some abusers are so dangerous that a woman must bide her time to get out alive.
It is best to educate yourself BEFORE getting into these situations. We need to warn women when they are girls about the signs of abusive relationships:
Does he isolate you from friends and family?
Threaten you and then say it was a joke?
Physically force himself on you to hurt you sexually as punishment for behaviors he doesn't approve of?
Belittle you by saying you are too stupid, ugly, dumb, etc. for anyone else to ever want you?
Hit you, cry, and then blame you for the incident?
These are just a few behaviors that are almost always backed up by a period of "remorse" and promises not to do it again. The human psyche is fragile. Just about anyone can be broken down psychologically over a period of time. I feel sorry for these women and hope them all the best.
2007-01-21 11:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO ... I realize it is easier said than done, but a person in this situation needs to seek out shelter through a church or community group, get counseling, learn self respect and go on with life. The guy will repeat the cycle no matter who he is with. Pity! How women come to the point that this is acceptable, I don't know. It is a loosing battle as these guys don't change!
2007-01-21 11:46:36 · answer #3 · answered by daffodil 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!!!!!! tHIS is not a good enough reason. Love is everywhere. And there is a guy out there that can treat a woman like his queen. But the problem is, when a girl is sooooo used of being treated like crap, that when she finds a good guy she's not attracted to him. You need love in order to have a good, healthy, happy relationship, but abuse will not make the person happy and every minute that they stay with someone who doesnt treat them right they lose a minute of being happy. And when they come to their senses that regret not leaving sooner. Having kids is not a reason to stay with someone either. Why would a person want to stay with someone like that. There are so many guys and women in this world, it's not worth it............
2007-01-21 11:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by wondering 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did one of your parents stay with the other for the same reason? This might provide some insight as to why you are okay with being treated like s***. If you learned this behavior as a child, it's harder to separate yourself from what feels comfortable. I say, do whatever it takes to get away from the person who is treating you this way...it might hurt at first, but you will be doing yourself the favor of a lifetime
GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-21 11:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by Sally Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I stayed in a terrible/wonderful relationship with a man I loved too, and, to this day, still dream about him and think about him all the time. We broke up in 1989. I lost everything. I lost my home, my job, my clothing, my furniture, his son, his family, an exciting and glamorous lifestyle, my self-esteem, my friends, I could go on and on. I lost all these things because in the 9 years we were together he made sure I became completely dependent on him. Next thing I know, because of some medical problems, I was out on my butt on the street. And everything I possessed was in his house.
Sure, loving someone is a reason to stay with him, but, be smart and don't put all your eggs into his basket. Protect yourself. Hide your assets. Think what you would need if you found yourself locked out of the house on a cold winter's night. Believe me, it happens.
If he finds out you have taken these precautions and is pissed about it, he isn't worth your time. It just shows he is only out for himself and doesn't give a crap about you.
Dump him.
2007-01-21 11:57:06 · answer #6 · answered by AuntAck B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey been there done that. It is not a reason good logical or otherwise. The longer you wait the worse it will get and the longer it will take for you to get on your feet. Believe me. Especially if kids are involved, if you are asking this question for yourself you are better to cut your losses and move on. I did it just picked up packed some clothes for my three kids and myself and left. Left everything. Sure You have to start over but struggling a little on your own makes you stronger and less likely to put yourself in that position again. Good Luck
2007-01-21 11:49:07 · answer #7 · answered by nurselynnaie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO WAY!!!! i think these women are confused about what love is and don't wana be alone or don't value themselves enough to remove themselves from the situation.. it is by no way a reason to stay with an abusive spouse
2007-01-21 11:49:02 · answer #8 · answered by Carrie H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody wants to be alone....especially women. Somehow inderectly in society a woman who isnt married or have a family after a certain age is looked at as not being wife material or "used up". So a lot of women dont feel validated if they dont have a man. Low self esteem is the #1 contributing factor to that.
2007-01-21 11:45:27 · answer #9 · answered by Wisdom 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No its not a good enough reason. And you don't love them. You are either scared of them, Or you Are in love with the idea of being in love. They have probably been with them so long, or have been threatened by these people Hopefully they will wake up and see what is going on here!
2007-01-21 11:44:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is not true love. How is it possible to love someone who hurts and disrespects you.? You are confusing love with a dependency on this person because you are truly lacking self esteem. We women should kick these losers into touch !!
2007-01-21 11:46:38 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋