Anybody just "give up" TTC ??

Question

My husband and I are very fortunate that we have a healthy 6 1/2 year old son.

But, after he was born, we tried and tried to have another baby. No luck.

Well, we got rid of the crib, bassinet, etc. We're no longer paying for childcare, so we have extra money each month to remodel and pay off bills.

Last night (while drinking) he said he thinks he's too old to have another child. He just can't take the 2 am feedings, etc.

He expressed an interest in getting a vasectomy.

I understand how he feels, and I'm very sad we haven't had luck.

Anybody else just give up TTC after 1?

Answer 1

I'm so sorry you haven't had more luck TTC #2 and that you find yourself in this situation. We also have only one, who will be three next month, and we've been trying for another for a year now. I'm very nearly at the point of wanting to give up simply because I can't handle the emotional rollercoaster very well. I don't think I will, but I certainly *want* to.

This is a decision that you and your husband must make on your own, and it likely won't be easy - it never is when you try to decide between your head and your heart.

Have you seen a doctor to rule out underlying fertility problems? I never suspected that I had PCOS until trying to conceive for several months, and I was given Clomid to force ovulation on a regular basis. This enabled me to get pregnant with my daughter, and another child that I miscarried very early on. Issues such as these can easily come on after one very easy, normal pregnancy (Google "secondary infertility"), so may be worth checking out if you haven't already.

If all is well and it's just not happening, think long and hard about consenting to your husband's vasectomy. Perhaps he'll be willing to "not try" for a while and see what happens? Be sure to discuss it with him when he's not drinking, preferably in a good mood so he'll be better able to think clearly about the situation.

Best of luck to you, I know your heart must be heavy after that conversation. I hope everything works out the way you want it to for your family.

Answer 2

I haven't conceived a child yet, but if your hubby doesn't want another and you do, is there a way to compromise? Maybe adoption?

Answer 3

usually when you stop trying is when you will concieve when you try to hard and think about it alot it seems your body plays tricks on you just let go and relax and before you know it you will be pregnant just tell your hubby to wait awhile longer good luck to you and lots of baby dust!!!!!!!!!!