Where does the passion go???
I have been with my husband for almost 5 years. We have been married for two. We have 3 children, 1yo, 3yo and a 7yo from my previous marriage. The passion is gone...we dont even sleep together anymore, we have become more friends than lovers. He is my best friend....but I miss my lover. I have lost the drive to try...any suggestions??? I just had to add...this isnt a sex thing....its the passion, the heat, the hairs on the back of your neck raising, kind of thing I mean...much much more than sex.
2007-01-21 10:51:38 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
passion is something you have to work at. i didn't work at it in my first marriage and it only lasted 6 years. and the last couple of years were hell.
this time--both my wife and i work at being each other's best friend. we've been married 17 years now. i love her more than anything. you've got to make time for your husband and you've got to be willing to work to keep the passion alive.
best of luck to you---i hope you find the passion again. i think its out there---its just something you and your husband will need to find together.
2007-01-21 10:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everything in a marriage, such as time spent together, length of marriage, kids, marital responsibilities, job stress, etc all take their toll on our lives. People handle this stress in different ways, but its usually the easiest areas that take the hit first. Sex in your case isnt the highest priority of your marriage and is giving way to the marital stress, or at least for now. This is usually temporary and doesnt last forever. Once the kids get a little older things tend to fall into their own time space and life gets into some kind of order, then sex will again rise on the priority list and the passion will return.So be alittle patient and things will return to normal. The time frame is hard to predict as every marriage like people are different and all adjust differently.Good luck
2007-01-21 11:02:41 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't lose anything. Just misplaced it. You might want to get excited about rekindling the fire that's kinda dormant right now by trying this. Surprise him with
1. Making plans for the kids to visit g-ma for the weekend
2. Make reservations for a night/weekend at a nice Hotel (not motel)
3. Call your hubby from the Lounge/Bar of that Hotel to meet you there for drinks. You dress for the occasion (Hot)
4. After about an hour hand him the key to the room and tell him to meet you there in twenty minutes.
5. When he gets there make love to that man love like you did in the beginning of your relationship.
To be continued...
2007-01-21 11:07:30 · answer #3 · answered by areyoukidding 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You remeber how it was in the beginning... now life and parenthood have dulled those feelings... try looking at him like he was that "stranger" 5 years ago... the memory is still there... ask him to seduce you the way he did way back when... and you could do the same to him... soooo often sooo sooo very often people let their lives get in the way of their relationship forget how much effort they actually put in at the beginning... ask yourself this... How long did it take me to find something to wear for our first date... how long does it take me now? Just because you said "I do" doesn't mean you stop... if anything it should mean I'll try harder... because it is harder to keep things fresh... love can become a pilot light instead of a raging flame... so put some effort back in your relationship... and ask him to do the same...
2007-01-21 11:18:07 · answer #4 · answered by alex b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to work at passion and when you have other things that demand alot of your attention like shared bills, in-laws and especially kids, most of the effort that was once spent on creating romance is shifted and that kills the passion. So you probably have to make a conscious decision to remind your mate how much you love them, hopefully they will reciprocate and the passion will follow suite.
2007-01-21 10:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are experiencing marriage. No one can keep up the type of passion you describe for long.
Ask yourself how much time you have spent trying to cultivate what you are looking for.
You might try doing a little passionate work first.
2007-01-21 11:43:50 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do some romantic stuff for him and act very flirtatious with him. Try taking a vacation with just the 2 of you to Hawaii or some were like that.
Good Luck
2007-01-21 11:06:11 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the honeymoon stage always ends, lasting only about 2 years i have been told anyway. life happens the kids come, responsibilities come, and sometimes you just have different priorities than u use to, welcome to the world of marriage. it ends and is replaced with a deeper love, not a fleshy thing but a true trust and love.
2007-01-21 11:23:44 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put the passion back into your marriage get kinky with him,go and try new things,rent a hotel rm for the weekend-you make it happen and he will follow. do not give up or settle for less.
2007-01-21 11:32:15 · answer #9 · answered by MJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I seek this answer. As soon as my wife had the children she wanted, the passion went with the first diaper.
She got what she wanted, I am now used in the pawn shop.
2007-01-21 11:43:04 · answer #10 · answered by n9wff 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋