My husband has recently started a new job. Previously he always worked on the road in sales and never had an office job. He is 39 and was diagnosed with cogestive heart failure and could not do his previous job. Now he has a desk job with the state and all the women he works with (he is the only man in his office) bring him food and fawn all over him. He has lunch with them and has done lawn work for a single women that he works with. What do you think??
2007-01-21 10:43:16 · 75 answers · asked by jacki m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look at it this way... your husband spends 8 hours a day (or so) plus commute time. away from home... then if he's lucky... about 6-8 hours sleeping... then there's the hobbies and other personal commitments add it all up and the actual amount of time he spends with you IS considerably less than what he spends with "them"...
I did the same thing... worked in the field for almost 20 years... packed up my experience and took a desk job in a predominantly female profession... I don't see these women as "candidates" I consider them co-workers... and think of them as "sisters". It sounds like a new situation for these office women... the novelty will wear thin... and after a while... he'll be their brother... I have noticed that there is a brief period during the month when they get "flirty" but then again there's that point in the month when they're all a bit "b*tchy" too
If you are a stay at home... then maybe you could take advantage of the new situation and surprise him with lunch now and again...(when the other women are "flirty" especially) It wouldn't hurt to talk to him about your concerns... and maybe renew your romance with him. of course a bit of jealousy is perfectly natural.
There is no such thing as an "auto-pilot" in a relationship... time effort and communication
2007-01-21 10:59:13 · answer #1 · answered by alex b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi! Jealousy is never pretty. Be a bit on guard and let the other women know he is off limits by leaving him sweet notes, send him flowers once in a while or call once in a while and say sweet things. If you show too much jealousy over a man it will show how unconfident you are. Some women find a jealous women's husband fair game because he must not love her enough to make her feel secure. Don't show that you feel you're not making your man happy. Jealousy means insecurity. If he is 39, he needs a boosting of feeling wanted and sexy. Make him feel that way. Smile alot at him and let him know he is the man---the best. He needs a woman's attention right now, so let he have the other women's attention, but you must give him the most. My husband is always surrounded by adoring women so I just keep making him a happy man. See Ya!
2007-01-21 11:06:13 · answer #2 · answered by belladmma 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh, no. I'm sorry that your husband has such a serious health issue at such a young age. Try not to be jealous. Jealousy is just a wasted emotion. He's working all day, and they are just his coworkers. Does he come home to you each night? If he loves you, you have nothing to worry about. If he doesn't, that's not something that will change by being jealous. If someone is looking to have an affair, they will do it no matter what. He could have met someone when he was on the road in sales, but he didn't. Have some faith in your husband. Too much jealousy will destroy you and your marriage.
2007-01-21 10:51:40 · answer #3 · answered by true blue 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband used to work in an office full of women where he was the only man and he got the same kind of treatment. The only difference is, he was much younger than the women he worked with. I think, for some reason, women just get like that around men... They are sort of "mothering" him in a way. If it was just one women that he was spending a TON of time with, I would be bothered, but since it's a group, I don't think it's something to worry about.
However, if his doing yard work for this single woman bothers you, you have the right to tell him and ask him to stop. It's not his responsibility to do her yard work. If she paid him, that's one thing, but if it's just voluntary, I would be weary. She can pay someone else to do her yard work.
2007-01-22 06:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by Jenna A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, I would have worried more when he was on the road with a healthy heart. Tell him you don't want him doing lawn work for these women, tell him you are worried that he is going to drop dead while helping them. They should not be asking him either. As for them bringing him food and lunching with him, I think it is fine cuz there are no men for him to lunch with. But off time, no way am I letting my man cut some other woman's lawn!
2007-01-21 10:49:51 · answer #5 · answered by Sharyn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I work with all men. The only 2 women in the office are the secretaries, which are in the outer office. I can vouch for there being nothing to office romances unless the people happen to be cheaters anyway and if so it wouldn't matter where they worked or for who. As for him helping others outside the office, it would really depend on this person he was helping. If she was older, overweight, health problems I'd say he was just being the man of the hour...if she was young and sexy and he had the hots for her I'd say I'd be flaming mad.
2007-01-21 11:20:19 · answer #6 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a question: what is a 39 year old who has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure doing doing "yard work" for ANYONE....let alone for some single woman from his place of work?!?
Minimally sounds like a serious lack of judgment on his part.
Secondly, if you are concerned that his co-workers are making moves, why not make yourself a more tangible presence. You drop in for lunch, be FRIENDLY to his co-workers (no dagger eyes, etc).
2007-01-21 10:59:17 · answer #7 · answered by Caroline B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A good wife will accompany her husband in paradise if he goes too. Most of the ppl should work hard to be later in paradise, but not think much about details there and forget to work for it. Most of the ppl who can't accept the heaven and hell life idea are those ppl spending their lives in vain or working in the wrong direction.
2016-03-29 08:04:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband also works in an office with several women. One certain woman would call with work related problems (supposedly) and also to ask if he needed lunch. I did get jealous and confronted my him about it. All it did for our marriage was cause more arguing and confusion. But if I found out he was going to one of their homes to do yard work that would be the end of the relationship.
2007-01-21 12:03:06 · answer #9 · answered by fieldpot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why be jealous? Who is he coming home to at night? Who wears his ring? Who will be there when he is ill? YOU WILL/DO. Why waste your precious time and energy on stupid crud that will only hurt you and him in the long run. He is a novelty in his office and is being treated like one...the only guy with a health issue? They are adopting him...and treating him like the favorite baby brother...you should be getting a big giggle out of it. And so what if he has helped out one of the ladies....it probably made him feel good to help her out. His health issues and job change have probably been very scary for him...maybe even made him feel less manly. Wouldn't you feel good if you were helping out a new friend...male or female? Do you expect him to eat lunch alone at his desk everyday? Quit being so sensitive and enjoy the time you have with him instead of poisoning your life with jealously.
2007-01-21 10:56:48 · answer #10 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋