But he did any way. For a good reason I could not leave and new that.
Lately I have been having resentment that he doesn't see that I need him. Well now i am going thru Chemo, on my own, cuz during the time he was gone I found out i had cancer. Well, like a loving wife i did not want him to resent me for making him choose me or his job, which is job he away wanted. He always thought of the other person instead of himself( a previous marriage) so I held my emotions and said i could do it without him. I no, now it was wrong, so I plan to tell him, that I need him here for love and support, cuz i can't handle it on my own and be honest of what i need. So what do u all think? Is it right that I make him choose and if he doesn't choose me, What then, I am a very independant woman and I know I can handle this on my own if I have too. But I have a husband and I want him here with me, helping me thur this. I have been on my own before and raise wonderful children, r there 4 me.
2007-01-21 10:16:41 · 8 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My first reason I did not move this him and I told him was, I have a 15yr old daughter and I want to wait till she graduates. He made it clear to me that he was going anyway, I was scared to loose him and i did tell him I would go after. But then like I said i found out i had cancer. Well i did tell him i wanted a divorce, bcos he was not helping me financially, and expected me to wait for him. Well he came to realize he didn't, he was upset at me. And so he did started helping, and said he would move after 2yrs but, I just can't believe he would be willing to give up a career he has always dream about.
Well the thing that bothers me is that he is clubing and having his fun, while i am here and need him. and i don't feel he calls me enough or ask me how i feel and if there is anything i need, am i eating right, you know like someone that adores thier spouse.. if i can't see him the least he could do is call as often as he can, to show me he care for me..
2007-01-21 14:18:09 · update #1
Ok here goes move with him you need him cause going thru chemo cannot be easy . I would think that one would need somebody going thru chemo . You need to tell him how hard it has been . Yes make him choose I know he will choose you if he does not then he was not worth having as a husband . Plain and simple . Anybody that would leave someone while they are sick is a gutless piece of crap. Just remember that . I think he will choose to stay with you though . good luck to you honey . God's speed with the chemo.
2007-01-21 11:23:31 · answer #1 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to give your husband the benefit of the doubt here. Some men feel completely helpless when their wife is sick. They are not caretakers. We think that since we would do every thing for our men that they should know how to take care of us. Especially when we women keep showing them that we do not need them. He may also be scared to death of your Cancer as I am sure that you are. I am glad that you have your children and they are probably frightened too. You need your husband. There can be some compromise maybe? The clubbing is probably an escape for him. You have to tell him exactly what you need from him. You want your husband to be there for you as you go through this but you tell him that you are strong and do not need him. Be honest. Give him the chance to be the supportive husband that you need him to be. Tell him exactly what you need.
2007-01-26 02:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by newyorktilson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you supplied enough info for me to give you a good answer. Why didn't you want to move with him? Why did he accept the job? Right now, I say you should have moved with him, and now that you are going through chemo, you need to tell him that, at the least, he should explain the situation to his boss so that he can take some vacation time to be with you.
2007-01-21 11:19:29 · answer #3 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding?? Where do i singe up for a wife like you? My wife made it clear to me that if i wasn't in bed next to her the majority of the week lol(6 out of 7 nights) then i would have to sleep on the couch because there would be someone else in my bed :) She summed it up pretty good you think? there is no reason we should be apart. No job is worth being apart from your loved ones no matter how much money. He will not resent you if he really loves you. Good luck..
2007-01-21 10:58:28 · answer #4 · answered by ch0ch064 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'v been in a long distance for 5 yrs. We live on 2 different continents, there are 6 hrs. between us. It can work as long as the distance is only temporary but since you have health issues that's different. I think you should move though since he's working so that you'll have the hands on support.
I wish you all the best.
2007-01-21 10:23:11 · answer #5 · answered by ♦♥maybelle♦♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Got a lot of problems in this relationship. He took a job out of state whether you wanted him to or not and you dont want to go with him. Might as well get a divorce he is your husband not just some guy you met.
2007-01-21 10:19:59 · answer #6 · answered by foodguru 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that its either u or the job and if he says job just devorse him
2007-01-21 10:20:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would move with him to prevent probloms
2007-01-21 10:19:28 · answer #8 · answered by penpal_247 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋