Now listen I know this is a touchy subject. Some are going to say it is out of the guide lines to ask. But I need to know why can't I? And what can I do to fix that. Please no stupied answers help me.
2007-01-21 10:16:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Because you have a mental block... of course you can... you just don't think you can, and whatever you think is right.
Get out of that mindset and experiment with yourself.
2007-01-21 10:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by karespromise 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off - the notion that only a small percentage of women have orgasms is preposterous.
Inability to orgasm is caused by either physical or psychological problems, that you might be able to work out with a marriage counselor who specializes in sex therapy. Oftentimes women find their sex drives are inhibited by social conditioning that says only "sluts" enjoy sex, while at the same time hearing about the ridiculous sexual powers claimed by female porn stars and the like. Bah - leave all the religious and social condemnation of female sexuality and the unrealistic expectations outside. Orgasms aren't immoral or bad for you, they feel great, and afterwards, your body is flooded with happy cuddle hormones that promote well-being and emotional bonding with your lover.
One of the causes of pre-orgasmic troubles can be what's called a hooded clitoris, which means that thick folds of skin are covering your clitoris that prevent it from being properly stimulated. That can be cleared up with extremely minor surgery.
More than likely though, the problem is psychological. Your lover isn't stimulating you enough, you don't quite know what turns you on, you're having trouble letting go. I don't blame you - we women get "sex is bad and nice girls shouldn't want it" social messages all the time.
Try this, though. Wait until you and your lover have some time to yourself, or do it alone. Find a medical chart of the female gentalia in a book, or online. Find the clitoris on the chart. Then take a shower, and afterwards, get a little hand mirror and put it between your legs, and look at your own private bits. You can probably find your own clitoris pretty easily - if you touch it a little, it will send a warm little *ping* through you.
There - that's the magic button. The female clitoris has the highest concentration of nerve endings in any part of the human body, it's just exquisitely sensitive. You can enhance its sensitivity by putting a drop of clove oil on it, which will make it feel pleasantly warm.
Then, head into the bedroom with either your lover or a vibrator or both, and then just experiment. If something feels REALLY yummy, keep doing it.
And don't worry if you can't come from just penis-in-vagina sex, a lot of women can't. Some women can only come in woman-on-top position, because that allows for the most clitoral stimulation. Some women can only come during oral sex, which affords LOTS of clitoral stimulation and little friction.
There are also lots of excellent sex manuals on the subject - I suggest "The Big O" by Lou Paget.
Lastly, there isn't anything shameful about orgasms. There are very few more wonderful feelings than lying there in bed snuggled all up with the person you love, enjoying that post-orgasmic glow.
BTW, I'm a 35-year-old happily married woman.
2007-01-21 18:52:26 · answer #2 · answered by Guernica 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to do some self exploration to see what it takes for you to have one. There are a lot of reasons why you haven't. Maybe you need more time than he can give, maybe you can only have them with clitoral stimulation. If you are on any medications, they may interfere (especially anti-depressants). The answer really depends on a lot of things. Go to your gynecologist or your family doctor and talk to him/her about it. I'm sure they can offer you a better solution than you're going to get on here.
Good Luck.
2007-01-21 18:21:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most women in the US cannot have vaginal orgasms from intercourse. This is mainly do to their partners being CIRCUMCISED (genitally mutilated). Most women can achieve orgasm with masterbation however. You need to experiment and find something that works and then communicate that to your lover.
2007-01-21 18:20:14 · answer #4 · answered by surfinthedesert 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the only time u don't get orgasm if u r not comfortable..or not felling Ur partner ..or u r partner not good enough.... or u have sex when Ur not ready for it.. it could be anything... but I am sUre if its normal its about u felling ur partner .. or if hes not good at it.. other Wise talk to u Doctor good luck
2007-01-21 18:24:03 · answer #5 · answered by I_belong_to_me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have orgasms, you just need the proper stimulation.
Relax and have someone orally stimulate you for as long as it takes.
2007-01-21 19:13:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mari
the best person to help you is yourself.
what excites you,close your eyes and think of that.
get some sexy magazines,movies.
now warm your hands and practice.
good luck.
2007-01-21 18:26:14 · answer #7 · answered by just_cookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some women dont get orgasms...or maybe you havent discovered what really gets you off......get a vibrator and find lube you like and try it out.....try new stuff with your man too.....watch some good porn to help you explore ideas.....good luck!!
2007-01-21 18:28:39 · answer #8 · answered by ..cHeRi.. 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is a very small percentage of women who have actually had one so don't be worried.
2007-01-21 18:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by katiej47 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
"I can't have a orgasm..Why is that?" Because you won't allow yourself to.
2007-01-21 18:19:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋